


I Don't Love You (And I Always Will)

by harrysblousuit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Angst?, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, M/M, Pining, Plot? Maybe, So Much Ballet, backround niall and barbra, eleanor has bangs?, featuring myself projecting onto gigi, gigi and eleanor as bffs, harry pours coffee on someone, niall is a legend, only a lil, sorry this is so cheesy, weekly game nights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:20:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28234554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrysblousuit/pseuds/harrysblousuit
Summary: Nothing about this transfer made sense to Louis. The NYCB wasn’t lacking anything that Harry Styles could supply.Why didn’t Louis know about the transfer in the first place? Were people hiding it from him? Was Styles one of those bratty dancers who want all their business to be done in secret like some CIA agent? Hell even Zayn in the costume department probably knew before Louis. Are Niall and Liam okay with this? They’re both soloists too, and if they did know why didn’t they tell him? Louis absolutely did not want to be hit with this about three minutes before the season officially started. And Louis really didn’t want to deal with a pretentious dick for the rest of the season. Harry Styles was probably a total douche bag who didn’t talk to any corps de ballet members. Harry Styles probably dropped his partners on purpose. Harry Styles probably- oh.As Harry Styles walked in the door, it turned out he was an incredibly attractive green-eyed boy with long, curly hair and extremely broad shoulders. He could probably carry Louis. Those pink, heart shaped lips probably made him a wonderful kisser- oh no.
Relationships: Eleanor Calder/Liam Payne, Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/OMC (minor?)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm just throwing this out there, tell me if you like it?  
> Title from "Poison and Wine" by the Civil Wars :)  
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and I am in no way implying anything about One Direction or any organization in the work.

Waking up hungover was really not how Louis wanted to start the first day of the new season. When his alarm rung out at 7:30 that morning it was pretty much a death sentence. Turns out, old ladies buying you champagne at a donor’s gala is quite hard to resist. His head was pounding, and his mouth felt like a raccoon died in it. Like six years ago. But alas, the New York City Ballet waits for no one. So, Louis slowly sat up, praying Niall bought more Ibuprofen yesterday. He rolled out his shoulders and stretched his knees until he heard a satisfying pop. Putting his bare feet on the hard wood sent a shiver up his spine, a painful reminder he forgot to turn on his space heater last night. It was September, shouldn’t it be warmer by now? He lived in New York, not goddamn Antarctica.  
Louis walked into the kitchen, the inviting smell of eggs pulling him in. Niall was cooking, being the wonderful roommate he was. Louis might be dead without Niall.  
“Look! It’s my favorite drunk!” Niall shouted, much too loudly for Louis’ ever-growing headache. “Ni, it’s about seven hours too early for your shouting.”  
“Just because you had eight glasses of champagne last night doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me asshole.” Niall said, his lips forming a pout. His blond hair was going in about eighty different directions, his blue eyes shining, proving he wasn’t angry. Louis rummaged through the counter, discovering Niall had forgotten to get Ibuprofen. Fuck.  
“Oh please, you had more than I did, you just have an unfairly high tolerance.” Louis mumbled, taking a plate of eggs from the counter. Niall just smirked back at him. Louis loved Niall, and he was a great roommate. They shared a dorm at the School of American Ballet when they were fourteen and had never split up since. The only times Louis wanted to slap Niall was when he was hungover and he had no Ibuprofen, or Niall decided to blast Elvis at six in the morning, which happens surprisingly often. So maybe Niall should quiet down.  
After Louis scarfed down some eggs, which he did quite gracefully, thank you very much, he figured he better get dressed before he’s late for the company meeting. He may be four seasons into his career with the NYCB, but he still can’t be late on his first day. He at least tries to be professional, contrary to what his behavior last night showed. Louis went down the hallway of the small apartment into his room and began the routine he’d perfected over the last four years. First, he put on a thin white t-shirt, some blue athletic shorts, and some sweatpants over those. Next, a big crewneck, today’s being a American Ballet Theatre sweatshirt. He combed his caramel colored hair pretty quickly since it would get sweaty about 30 minutes into work anyway and brushed his teeth. After slipping on some Vans by his door, grabbed his dance bag, put in some earbuds, and headed to Lincoln Center Plaza.  
Louis treasured his morning walks to the New York City Ballet studios. The city had been his home for so many years, starting when he was fourteen. He moved here alone to study at the School of American Ballet and was accepted at eighteen as an apprentice at the company. Since then, he’d been promoted to a corps de ballet member about a year in, and eventually made his way up to a soloist last year. But no matter where he was in life, he always walked to the ballet studio in the morning, no matter what weather. He used his time to breathe in some fresh air and try to clear his head before the hectic day ahead. Ballet was so incredibly stressful that if he didn’t make this time for himself, he would probably cause some sort of breakdown. He also refused to take the subway because it smelled like piss.  
Taking one final breath, he opened the door to Lincoln Center, taking in the familiar surroundings. The dancers loitering in the halls, posters of past performances hanging on the walls. Everything was exactly how they had left it over break, and Louis couldn’t be more thankful. He hated change. It threw him off his game, and if Louis planned on getting his dream roles this season, he needed to be on his game at all costs. A little birdie (Gigi) told him they were doing Romeo and Juliet this season, and Romeo was Louis’ role. He was perfect for it. Louis just had to make the director see that.  
Louis waltzed into the dressing room, high fiving the corps members who arrived early. After toeing off his Vans, he dropped his bag on a bench, and grabbed his ballet flats, legwarmers, roller, and water bottle and headed out as fast as possible. Even five minutes into the season and that room smelled like feet and body odor. After speed walking into the hall, Louis made his way to the main studio to get ready for the company meeting. Opening the door, he was greeted with the familiar sight of Gigi sprawled on the marley floor, surrounded by about twenty bobby pins. She was in front of the mirror trying to pull her hair into her usual french twist.  
“Hey babe!” she called out, muffled from a bobby pin she was holding in her mouth.  
“Morning, G. Good to see you prepared as always.” He replied, smirking at his pas de deux partner. She had a habit of sewing her pointe shoes and doing her dirty blonde hair as late as possible. As her duet partner, he should probably find it aggravating, but it was painfully endearing.  
“Oh, fuck off. You just comb your hair, what once, and you’re good to go? Lucky bastard.” Gigi also had a bit of a bite to her. Also painfully endearing.  
“Excuse me! This hair takes a lot of effort.” Louis replied. A total lie, but he sympathized with Gigi after watching her spend countless hours twisting up her hair over the years. She just rolled her eyes at him and stuck her last pin in her twist. As per usual, they both started their daily warmups before class started, Louis rolling out his feet and Gigi sliding slowly into her splits. They stretched quietly, the silence before the chaos of the whole company arriving being a nice moment of peace. The morning sunlight filtered through the windows, reflecting off the floor to ceiling studio mirrors. Gigi was one of the few people that could appreciate the early morning tranquility, not break it. Then of course, her buddy Eleanor busted in the door.  
“New season! Let’s get this show on the road!” Eleanor exclaimed, her excited eyes peeking out from behind her brunette bangs. Eleanor was always incredibly full of energy in the morning, like Niall. Unlike Louis and Gigi and the rest of the normal human population.  
“Jesus Eleanor, how much coffee have you had this morning? I feel dead on my feet.” Louis replied. No, Louis’ hangover hadn’t gone away yet. Someone send him some Ibuprofen.  
“None Louis. Some of us didn’t accept every glass of champagne a donor gave us last night.” Eleanor said, raising one eyebrow. It should be noted that Eleanor, nice as she was, didn’t take any shit. Like any shit.  
“She’s got a point Lou. I told you to slow down last night and you told me to ‘Leave you with your ego-boosting sugar mamas.” Gigi told him. And did he say that? He may have been a bit more drunk than he’d like to admit for the donor’s gala being a work function.  
“I take no responsibility for my actions last night.” Louis declared, puffing out his chest. The girls just raised their eyebrows at him, and he gave them a look.  
“Anyway, ignoring Lou’s sugar mamas, I personally am excited to start this season.” Eleanor said.  
“Of course you are, you’re a shoe in for Juliet this year,” Gigi replied, “and I will probably be playing your Nurse.”  
“Oh would you shut up G? We both know you’ll get Dewdrop in Nutcracker this year.” Louis said. Gigi had a habit of making it seem like the directors hated her, when she’s probably getting promoted to first soloist this season.  
“Whatever,” Gigi responded, “ at least Lou has a shot at Romeo.”  
“I heard they want Styles for Romeo, since acting is like, his big specialty.” Eleanor said. And wait a minute. Styles? There’s no Styles at New York City Ballet, and it’s not like an apprentice is playing Romeo. That’s impossible.  
“Styles? Who the fuck is Styles?” Louis spat at her. Eleanor and Gigi looked at him incredulously.  
“You’re kidding right? You know Harry Styles, the new soloist from Royal.” Gigi replied.  
“We got a transfer and nobody bothered to tell me? Seriously?” Louis exclaimed. Especially a male soloist transfer. Who was apparently a shoe-in Romeo.  
“Lou, we thought you already knew?” Eleanor said, clearly not understanding what Louis’ problem was.  
“What? Of course I-“ Louis began, getting cut off by the director coming in the doors, followed by the rest of the board. It appeared the rest of the company had slowly filtered in while Louis was caught up in conversation.  
“Hello dancers! Welcome back to the New York City Ballet! We’re very excited…” Director Cowell began, his voice bouncing off the walls of the echoey space. Louis began to tune out thinking about Harry Styles. Of course he knew who Harry was, he was one of the most talented prodigies of their generation of dancers. Louis also had a bit of a crush on him as a teenager, after seeing videos of him at ballet competitions on YouTube. The School of American Ballet didn’t have a huge selection of boys to crush on so he had to resort to other sources. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Harry was coming from the Royal Ballet, who was a classical company. How did he expect to come into a company of Balanchine trained dancers as a soloist? Could he even keep up with Balanchine’s pace? And how could he take Romeo when it was his first season with the company? Nothing about this transfer made sense to Louis. The NYCB wasn’t lacking anything that Harry Styles could supply.  
Why didn’t Louis know about the transfer in the first place? Were people hiding it from him? Was Styles one of those bratty dancers who want all their business to be done in secret like some CIA agent? Hell even Zayn in the costume department probably knew before Louis. Are Niall and Liam okay with this? They’re both soloists too, and if they did know why didn’t they tell him? Louis absolutely did not want to be hit with this about three minutes before the season officially started. And Louis really didn’t want to deal with a pretentious dick for the rest of the season. Harry Styles was probably a total douche bag who didn’t talk to any corps de ballet members. Harry Styles probably dropped his partners on purpose. Harry Styles probably- oh.  
As Harry Styles walked in the door, it turned out he was an incredibly attractive green-eyed boy with long, curly hair and extremely broad shoulders. He could probably carry Louis. Those pink, heart shaped lips probably made him a wonderful kisser- oh no.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's first day at NYCB :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Enjoy this chapter, and comment what you think the post schedule for this should be. 
> 
> Song for this chapter: "Turn on Me" by The Shins
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction or anyone affiliated with them. This is a work of fiction, not meant to imply anything about anyone or organization mentioned in the work.

Harry felt a lot like he was switching high schools. Everyone at NYCB had known each other since they were teenagers, all attending SAB together for years. Sitting in Director Cowell’s office, he couldn’t stop fidgeting, just wanting to get into the studio and dance. That was the whole reason he was here after all, or at least that’s what he was telling himself. The glass walls of Cowell’s office left him feeling exposed, and Cowell’s welcoming meeting wasn’t helping Harry blend in. Like at all.

“Mr. Styles, we really just want to thank you for taking our offer. We really didn’t expect it, and we think you’re the fresh air New York City Ballet needs.” Cowell smiled at him, looking a bit scared Harry might run for it as soon as he takes his eyes off him. It’s quite possible that’s exactly what will happen.

“It’s really a pleasure Mr. Cowell, thank you for bringing me into the company, especially on such short notice.” Harry replied, trying to keep his expression as calm and pleasant as he could. He was hoping it worked.

“Oh no! Please call me Simon,” he rushed out, “and come to me if you have any issues. I know the company is tight knit, but they’re much more welcoming than they seem. If I’m not available, find one of the other soloists if you have any questions, they know their way around.”

“Sounds good.” Harry responded, honestly just trying to get this over with as fast as possible. He came here to dance, not sit in an office that felt more like a glass cage than anything. Finally, Simon showed him out of the office, walking with him down the empty white halls.

“Okay, I’m going to give a bit of a welcome speech to the company, and when I call your name, you can come in and I’ll introduce you!” Simon exclaimed. Harry started to protest, but Simon had already gone through the door to the studio. Shit. He understood that not many people transferred to the NYCB, but why did his arrival need to be some production? He wasn’t even a principal dancer, and Simon was acting like he was the next Baryshnikov. Harry just wanted to blend in with this company as seamlessly as possible. Simon seems to make it his life mission to do the opposite. Speak of the devil, Harry heard Simon call out his name from inside the studio, snapping him out of his thoughts. Harry took one more deep breath and slowly opened the studio door, greeted by the sight of the entire City Ballet spread out on the floor. He might be used to performing to sold out opera houses but seeing this many eyes on him at one time was a bit unnerving.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have the pleasure of introducing you to our new soloist for the season, Mr. Harry Styles! He’s come all the way from the Royal Ballet so let’s give him a warm welcome.” Simon boomed out, eliciting a round of applause from the company. Harry gave a small wave, unsure of what he was supposed to do. Should he sit down? Did Simon expect him to say a few words? He’s pretty sure if he spoke right now all that would come out is a small voice crack. That would clearly make a wonderful first impression.

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, why don’t you join the rest of the company.” Simon smiled at him. Well that answered Harry’s question. Harry scanned the room quickly to find a place to sit. Everyone appeared to be in small groups of about three to six, so he just took an open spot near the side of the room. The last thing he wanted was to barge into some friend group uninvited. Making one friend this season would be great, but he didn’t really know how to go about it. Harry had completely forgotten how he made friends before the Royal Ballet School. He’d moved there from Ohio when he was twelve to train on scholarship. He’d been with the Royal Ballet since he’d graduated the school at eighteen, and all his friends from the school had moved into the company with him. How did twelve-year-old him have the courage to talk to people? Looking at the groups of dancers, it seemed impossible. Maybe he could just compliment someone on their leotard, or their turns. Dancers couldn’t resist flattery. Before he could scope out a possible target for his compliments, the dancers were applauding Cowell, signaling the end of his speech.

“Get to the barres! I want to see what improvements you lot made over the summer!” Simon chuckled out, knowing damn well about three of them probably danced and regularly conditioned this summer. The only reason Harry took class every week that summer was so he made a good impression at his new company. Harry rose, looking for a barre spot that hadn’t been claimed yet. Stealing a barre spot from someone would make him a fast enemy. He found a spot on a center barre, next to a girl with brown hair, and wispy bangs. She turned around to look at him.

“Hi! You must be Harry, I’m Eleanor.” She greeted him. She looked genuinely nice. And of course, he knew who Eleanor was, after stalking the NYCB repertoire, he had seen her Tchaikovsky Pas de Deux with Liam Payne. It was breathtakingly graceful, while still keeping the sharp edge Balanchine is known for. While thinking about her dancing, he almost forgot to respond to the girl.

“Harry, yes. I saw your Tchaikovsky Pas de Deux, and oh my god it was amazing. My favorite version of it to date, probably.” He replied. Eleanor looked at him with a light pink blush on her cheeks.

“That was all Liam, he’s an amazing partner.” She said, looking at Liam from across the room. Interesting.

“Take some credit where credit is due, love.” Harry smiled at her, knowing the dimple popped out. That dimple worked wonders back in England, so maybe it still worked in America. Before Eleanor could argue that Liam was the greatest dancer west of Russia, Simon clapped twice, and started reviewing the plie combination. Eleanor flashed him a thumbs up and wink before turning around to mark the combination. Harry tried his best to focus on Simon going through the plies, but it was pretty much the same as Royal’s plies. And every other company and school ever. Simon finished up reviewing the combination, and the pianist started up the music for them to begin.

He felt like he could finally exhale for the first time today. By the time Harry was doing his combres in second position, he had almost forgotten he was in a new studio, and not back at the Royal Ballet. As class continued, he found he really liked the Balanchine style. The sharpness of the tendus and fondus made barre a bit more dynamic, and less monotonous than the classical style. He was soaked with sweat by the time adagio came around about forty minutes into barre. He could feel his long curls sticking to he back of his neck, and quickly tied them up into a ponytail in between adagio and grand battements. Grand battements had always been his favorite barre exercise, the huge kicks making him feel free and strong. He took this time to look around at the other dancers. Eleanor in front of him had incredible technique, and he’d been watching her throughout barre. Her soft arms counteracted her precise footwork, and her relaxed facial expression making it all look easy. He still didn’t understand how she danced with bangs and didn’t find them irritating, but good for her.

Looking around him, it seemed the company breathed as one as they danced, completing grand battements together as one body. This of course had come from years of dancing together, and Harry hoped he wasn’t too out of place. Simon came around to his barre, ready to correct the dancers. When he passed Harry, he just hummed and gave him a nod. Harry was pretty over the moon with that reaction, as he was praying that Simon wouldn’t be disappointed in his dancing after hyping Harry up for days. With that weight off of his chest, he felt even lighter during center, jumping through petite allegro with a new sense of spirit. He watched Eleanor land a triple pirouette perfectly, and Harry couldn’t help but feel like he belonged in this environment. The New York City Ballet danced with a sort of energy that the Royal just didn’t possess. While the City Ballet danced as one entity, the Royal was full of dancers constantly trying to be better than one another. They put themselves over the whole, which was never good for a ballet company, fostering a sense of selfishness that broke dancers. It broke Harry anyway.

Class ended after about an hour and a half, and the company had another meeting after lunch to go over casting for the October show. It would be a smaller one, since the company had to save energy and time for Nutcracker in December. After thanking Simon for class, Harry grabbed his water bottle and backpack, and headed into the hall. He noticed his bottle was almost empty and started looking for a water fountain to fill it. He scanned the halls while he walked, turning a corner, and slamming into another body, spilling the person’s water all over their front.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Harry rushed out, “I can’t believe I did that. I’m so sorry!” Of course Harry would do this, why isn’t he surprised? For a dancer, he’s a total klutz. He’s like a grown man on deer legs. Before he could get too wrapped up in his head, the person he just totally rammed into looked up to meet his eye. And this may be the most gorgeous man Harry had ever seen. He had caramel brown hair, and even slightly soaked with sweat it looked soft. He had clear blue eyes, that dawned with realization of who Harry was.

“Will you watch where you’re going?” The man asked, his high voice carrying through the hall. His brows were slightly furrowed, and his lips made a slight frown.

“I’m sorry, it was a total accident,” Harry started, “and I have an extra shirt you can borrow!” The man looked at him unimpressed.

“I don’t need your shirt. But I do need you to get out of my way. Some of us have places to be, Curly.” The man spat out. His petite frame seemed a lot larger now, somehow looking down on Harry from under him. Harry usually didn’t take shit like this and swore he wouldn’t at this company. But something about the man’s gaze made Harry just want to hide in the nearest corner and never come back to NYCB again. Harry just looked away and moved to the side, while the man quickly walked past him, knocking Harry’s shoulder as he went.

Harry walked to the water fountain dumbfounded. He thought NYCB would be different than Royal. Eleanor seemed so nice earlier, but she was only one person. Was she being nice to him as a joke? Was the company pranking him, planning to embarrass the shit out of him as soon as they get the chance? Harry couldn’t afford to think like this. He’s a soloist at one of the best companies in the world at the age of twenty-two. Is he going to let one dancer ruin his fresh start? Hell no. If that… little dude has an issue with Harry, Harry has an issue with that tiny ass man. Harry could be intimidating if he wanted to. Probably. The man was most likely some corps de ballet asshole who was mad he wasn’t promoted this season. God knows Royal had a million of those. Harry will just have to stick with Eleanor for the time being and hope her friends aren’t like Tiny Ass Man.

He went down to the lobby where the company was eating, scanning the room for familiar brown bangs. He saw them seated on the floor next to a brown couch in front of a huge floor to ceiling window. Harry got his salad out of his bag, ready to approach her when he saw who he was sitting with. A head of caramel brown hair peeked out from next to Eleanor, their high voice laughing along with hers. Goddamit.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Song for this chapter is "Bubblegum Bitch" by Marina and the Diamonds.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction or anyone referenced in this work. This is fiction, not meant to imply anything about the people or organizations in the work.

Despite leaving home at the age of fourteen, Louis liked to think his mother raised him well. He tried to treat others with as much kindness and respect as his smart-ass attitude would allow. Jay Tomlinson would not be happy with how Louis treated Harry.

Louis didn’t take shit from anyone, least of all stuck up transfers with a dire need for an attitude adjustment. After Harry bumped into him, he had the nerve to look down on Louis? Literally looked down at Louis. Harry may be tall, but he can’t be so tall he has to gaze down his nose at Louis. Harry then had the audacity to offer a shirt to Louis? Louis was a professional, thank you very much, so he obviously had an extra shirt. Just because Harry came from London, that didn’t mean he was some posh gentleman. He was a pretentious dick. Apparently, Eleanor didn’t get the memo that Harry was to be avoided at all costs, and waxed poetic about him at lunch.

“Louis, his technique is flawless. I was watching him at barre and it’s like that boy has feet crafted by the gods.” Eleanor said, gesturing with her hands for emphasis. Louis just rolled his eyes at her. 

“Listen El, I know he was sweet to you but he’s a total dick. Trust me.” Louis responded, receiving a death glare from Eleanor.

“He spilled water on you. On accident. It wasn’t like he tripped you or put glass in your shoes.”

“You didn’t see how he talked to me! It was like I was some charity case! I don’t need charity from some English man.” Louis replied, saying the last part in a horrible attempt at an English accent. Eleanor looked at him, unimpressed. 

“Whatever, Lou.” She muttered, packing up her orange and water bottle. “We gotta head to the studio for casting assignments.” Eleanor started to walk away, leaving Louis to rush after her. She was totally falling for Harry’s shit. He probably complimented her turnout or something during warm up class. Dancers couldn’t resist flattery.

By the time Louis and Eleanor entered the main studio for casting assignments for the fall program, about half the company had already arrived. They spotted Gigi waving from the back of the studio, gesturing to the empty spots next to her. Louis and Eleanor walked over, both taking a seat on either side of her. 

“Where the hell were you during lunch, G?” Louis asked. It’s not like Gigi to skip a chance to gossip and drink her daily iced coffee. 

“Oh, I was down in the costume department,” Gigi replied, “I needed to grab some new pointe shoes and just decided to sew them down there.”

“You mean you decided to sew them with Zayn.” Eleanor smiled, raising her eyebrows at her. Zayn was one of the costume designers down in the basement, and he was ‘unfairly gorgeous’. Gigi’s words, not Louis’. Gigi has had a bit of a thing for him since they joined the company four years ago, but has never admitted it. Louis and Eleanor were coming close to a confession. It’s been years of wearing her down, she can’t deny it much longer. 

“He looked lonely. I didn’t want to make him eat alone in a cold basement.” Gigi protested, avoiding eye contact with either of her friends. She was a horrible liar.

“Whatever you say G.” Louis laughed, body tensing when he saw who walked in the door. Fuckface Styles. Louis was hoping he had found a reason to quit after lunch. Damn. Louis quickly looked away from his tall frame, green eyes scanning the room presumably for a place to sit. Styles just needed to head to the back of the studio where he belonged. Of course, the lovely Ms. Calder didn’t understand this. 

“Hey Harry!” Eleanor called out, “Come sit over here!” Harry looked over, his green eyes lighting with excitement and dimples popping out when he met Eleanor’s eye. When Harry looked slightly to Eleanor’s left and saw Louis, the joy drained from his face, replaced with a scowl. He appeared to weigh the options in his mind of sitting alone and sitting in Louis’ general proximity. Of course, he chose the wrong answer and walked over to Eleanor. Shit.

“Hey love,” he greeted her. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced?” Harry said, smiling at Gigi. Gigi better not fall for Fuckface’s charms like Eleanor. He may be just as attractive as Zayn, but Zayn actually had likeable traits. 

“Gigi Hadid,” she said, grinning at Harry. “Soloist along with Eleanor and Lou here.” Harry looked over at Louis, meeting his eye and quickly looking away. He looked really hot when he was irritated. Wait, no. Harry had an ugly face to match his ugly personality. And if Louis was lying to himself, who was gonna call him out on it?

“Pleasure to meet you.” Harry replied to Gigi, taking a seat next to Eleanor. Thank god he was as far away from Louis as possible. Louis might punch him if he gets to close. Or kiss him. Same difference. 

Cowell walked in with a clipboard, interrupting the company’s small talk. 

“Hello dancers. As you all know, rehearsals for the October program start tomorrow, so casting should be done a quickly as possible. First piece is the Act III Pas De Deux from Don Quixote. Principal casting is Edwards and Horan.” Simon droned out, and Perrie Edwards and Niall Horan exchanged a silent high five. “Second piece, Sapphires from Jewels. Jenner and Smith.” Kendall Jenner and Sophia Smith shared a look with raised eyebrows from across the studio. “And last, we will be doing Apollo. The Muses are Hadid, Calder, and Edwards. We’re double casting Apollo, so Styles and Tomlinson will be doing that role, Styles first cast and Tomlinson second. Any questions? Good.” Simon finished, and quickly left the room. 

Louis stared silently at the studio mirror. He’s double cast with Fuckface Styles? If Styles never came, he’d be doing both nights of the role. Eleanor came up behind him, interrupting his fuming before he could get too angry. 

“Listen Louis. I know the last thing you want is to be double cast with him. But make it work. Gigi, Perrie, and I aren’t putting up with any games between you two in rehearsal. Don’t ruin this.” Eleanor said, promptly turning around and walking over to Gigi and Perrie. Well that was a reality check. He couldn’t be absolutely terrible to Harry. The girls would kill him. But he didn’t have to speak to him. So when Harry came up to him a couple minutes later, Louis met his eye and kept Eleanor’s warning in mind.

“Listen, I know we’ve had a rocky start,” Harry began, “but I do look forward to working with you.” Harry said, extending a hand for Louis to shake. Louis stared him down for a couple more seconds before turning away and walking out of Lincoln Center for the day. 

As much as Louis treasured his walks to Lincoln Center, his walks home were not as great. There were too many people on the sidewalk, and his body was tired and sore from class. But Louis still refused to take the subway back to his and Niall’s apartment. The subway smells like piss. 

After a thirty minute walk that just enhanced Louis’ bad mood, he shouldered his way into his apartment. 

“Honey, I’m home!” he yelled out to Niall, who always got home before Louis because he took the Piss Train. 

“Living room, dickwad!” Niall answered, and Louis dropped his bag by the door and went into the living room to find Niall laying across the couch staring at the ceiling. 

“Ni? Any quarter-life crisis I should be worrying about?”

“No. But I’m not sure my legs will work tomorrow. Who told me it was a good idea to take a month-long break?” Niall responded, his only movement being turning his head to look at Louis sitting in the chair to his right. 

“You could’ve gone to the gym with me. I asked you to, but all you said was that you were still strong enough to lift the couch.”

“Oh fuck off,” Niall said. “Just saying you’re gonna have to cook dinner tonight.”

“Great. I’ll call the pizza place in an hour.” Louis said, flashing Niall a thumbs up. 

“Nice. You happy with casting? I mean Simon wouldn’t change it anyway, but whatever.” Niall asked, who clearly wasn’t anticipating Louis next response.

“Apollo’s great. I need Fuckface Styles to quit though, so I might start pouring ice water down his back when he’s not looking.” Louis said, a bit too casually to be a joke.

“What? Styles is a cool dude, Louis please don’t make him quit. I’ll stop making your favorite chicken recipe.” 

“No, Niall. He’s not a cool dude. He’s a pretentious asshole. He stole my role!” Louis said, getting up and starting to pace around the room. Niall finally sat up. 

“Louis, you’re double cast. He didn’t steal your role.” Niall said, an disbelieving look on his face. 

“He stole one of my nights to do the role. And he’s a dick! He thinks he’s so much better than us just because he’s from England-“

“I’m pretty sure I heard him say he’s from Ohio.” Niall argued.

“-and he trained at the Royal Ballet School. We trained at the School of American Ballet! We’re just as good as him!” Louis finished, throwing his hands in the air.  
“Lou, I think you need a nice, relaxing bath. And maybe an appointment with the psychiatrist.” Niall said, in a patronizingly soothing tone. He sounded like he was talking to a horse.  
“I’m taking the bath because my muscles hurt not because you told me to.” Louis responded, pointing his finger at him. Niall just nodded back with his eyebrows raised. Louis speed-walked to the bathroom. He couldn’t keep letting Fuckface Styles get under his skin. That would be letting him win, and Louis didn’t need to see him with an attractive smirk on his face. If he saw that, Louis might feel the urge to kiss it away. Which. Was an issue. Why did Harry have to be so gorgeous? When Louis didn’t have the urge to punch him, he had the urge to push him against a wall and start making out with him. Actually both of those feelings happened pretty much all the time. 

Louis took his bath, ordered pizza for him and Niall, and they watched Center Stage, as every dancer does. While Louis watched Charlie and Jodi dance salsa together, his thoughts started to wander to if Styles was any good at salsa. Of course he’s not. He’s probably one of those dancers that’s so stuck-up they can only do ballet. Louis hopes that’s true. He tries to explain to Niall that they should go out salsa dancing like in the movie, but Niall rejects him saying that “nobody has gone salsa dancing since 2003.” Fuck Niall. Louis will find someone to go salsa dancing with.

Laying in bed that night, Louis was tossing and turning, dreading rehearsal tomorrow. If Styles got within a six foot radius of Louis, he’ll scream. He better keep his distance. Or just make out with Louis. That might be an acceptable option as well.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's adventures at NYCB!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Happy Christmas Eve, and also Lou's birthday!!!
> 
> Song for this chapter is "Plastic Hearts" by Miley Cyrus.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION. Not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

It was Thursday, and they were three days into rehearsals for Apollo. It was not going well.

“Louis, would you PLEASE move.” Harry said, attempting to dance in the three feet of space that Louis was giving him. Turns out Tiny Ass Man’s name was Louis Tomlinson, which he only knew because Eleanor told him while complaining about what a dumbass Tiny Ass Man was. Louis still hadn’t spoken to him since The Hallway Incident.

“Gigi, would you tell Styles here that if he wants more space than he can move to the back of the studio. Where he belongs.” Louis forced out in a sugary sweet tone. Gigi honestly looked like she might murder him. 

“Louis. I’m not dealing with this shit,” Gigi spat. “I’m not kidding. I will go to Cowell and quit this program if you keep it up.” And with that, Gigi turned away to go run through her variation with Eleanor on the other end of the studio. All the girls had slowly left the boys after hitting their limit with Louis. Harry was surprised Gigi had lasted fifteen minutes today. Eleanor lasted three. 

Louis watched Gigi leave and huffed. At this point, Harry wanted to dropkick him to Canada. He probably could. Harry had strong legs, and Louis was the size of a grape. Louis just started rehearsing again, back to Harry. Harry could leave, or go rehearse with the girls, but he wasn’t letting Louis win that easily. Harry started dancing the same part of the variation, just close enough to Louis to irritate him, and just a bit faster than Louis was dancing it. Nothing annoyed dancers more than timing issues. 

Louis watched Harry in the mirror while they danced, not wanting to make eye contact with him. He had a deep scowl on his face, blue eyes flashing with anger. Harry could tell how much Louis wanted to turn around and scream at him but that included a.) looking at him, and b.) talking to him. Before Louis could make his decision, Cowell came through the wooden doors. 

“Okay! Everyone but Edwards and Horan out! I want to see the Act III Pas de Deux.” Simon said, not looking up from his clipboard once. Niall and Perrie rushed to the front of the room, Perrie’s pointe shoes clunking against the marley as she pulled on her light blue practice tutu. Harry started making his way out of the studio, walking as quickly as possible. If he had to be in a room with Louis for one more minute, he might pull a Tonya Harding and fuck up his knee with a crowbar. Or something like that. 

They were probably released for the day since it was about six. But the idea of going home to his empty apartment was not appealing. Harry didn’t have a roommate, so he was renting a tiny, shitty apartment alone a few blocks from Lincoln Center. He was pretty convinced there was a ghost in his bathroom, but that would have to be ignored. Maybe he could call an exorcist or something. The toothpaste in his bathroom couldn’t be moving on its own. 

Before Harry could pull out his phone to google a local ghost-busting service, Gigi started walking down the hall next to him. To be honest, Harry was kind of scared of her. They hadn’t talked one on one yet, and Harry was just hoping she didn’t insult him. 

“So Harry, you’re new in town right?” Gigi said, a mischievous smile on her face.

“Yeah, just moved in last week,” Harry replied. “might be moving apartments again soon though.” He mumbled through the last part. Gigi probably wouldn’t believe there was a ghost in Harry’s bathroom. 

“Cool! A bunch on us are planning on hanging out at Niall’s tonight. Pizza, board games, the whole shebang. You in?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow. On one hand, Harry absolutely did not want to go to his apartment for longer than he had to tonight. On the other, Louis would probably be there, and he’s more irritating than a toothpaste stealing phantom. Gigi’s face told him he didn’t really have a choice but to come. Damn she was intimidating. 

“Yeah, sounds like a good time. What’s the address?” Harry replied. Maybe Louis wouldn’t be there. Gigi said it was at Niall’s and maybe Louis was busy that night with like plotting a murder or something.

“Oh, I’ll just text you the details,” Gigi responded. “Gimme your phone.” Harry and Gigi switched phones and quickly put their numbers in. Harry put his contact in as “Harry :)”, not really sure if they were good enough friends to use a whole emoji. Probably not. Gigi took her phone back and left him alone in the hallway with a “See you later!”

Harry wasn’t really religious, but if he was, he’d be on his knees praying that Louis wouldn’t show up tonight. Harry preferred to be on his knees for different reasons, but desperate situations call for desperate measures. This night could go horribly. Harry has only talked to Gigi and Eleanor, and he didn’t want to seem too clingy tonight by sticking by them the whole time. The only thing he could do was show up, and hope nobody hated him. The latter already failed if Louis came. 

Harry began his walk home, thinking about what he should wear and how to do his hair for tonight. It took him pretty much the whole twenty-minute walk to decide on a black t-shirt and black jeans, with his hair down. Harry had been working hard to grow his hair down to where it currently rested on his shoulders, and he was damn well gonna show it off. 

Gigi had sent him a text to go over to Niall’s at about seven thirty, and the address would take him thirty minutes to walk to, giving him about forty minutes before he needed to leave. After taking a shower to wash off the sweat from rehearsal and getting dressed he had five minutes before he had to go, which he spent worrying about if the dancers would judge him for wearing Chelsea boots. He decided to go for the boots and headed out into the brisk New York City September.   
*************************  
Harry stood outside Niall’s door, wondering if anyone would notice if he didn’t show. Social gatherings with new people were not Harry’s favorite thing. They never really did this at the Royal, so he hadn’t had a proper “hangout” since his time at the school. Before Harry could make his decision, Eleanor came barreling down the hallway carrying about seven board games, bangs bouncing as she ran. 

“Harry! You came!” Eleanor exclaimed, clearly excited to see him. There goes the idea of running away. 

“I did!” Harry responded, and if his enthusiasm was slightly forced, Eleanor didn’t show any signs of noticing. She just smiled at him and gestured with her head for him to knock, since she was holding what seemed to be Target’s entire board game section. The sound of footsteps approached the door from inside, and the yellow door swung open to reveal a grinning blonde man. Harry knew he was Niall, from Cowell constantly telling him to shut up during rehearsals.

“Hey you two! Harry, I don’t think we’ve actually met yet. I’m Niall.” He said, extending a hand to shake. Harry took it quickly, not wanting to seem rude. The blonde’s energy was infectious, and Harry felt his anxiety start to ebb away. 

“Nice to meet you,” Harry said as the three walked into the apartment. “I love the color of your door.” Harry cursed himself inwardly. Who the fuck compliments a person’s door?

“Thanks,” Niall laughed out. “Lou loves it too.” Harry froze. Was Louis here? If he was, was he spreading lies about how horrible Harry was? Would people believe him and exile Harry?  
Before his spiraling could get too out of control, Eleanor knocked her shoulder into his. She put her stack of board games on a nearby table and looped her arm through his.  
“Let’s go introduce you to some people!” she exclaimed, dragging him into the living room. He saw about four people in there, a buff brunette who he was fairly sure was Liam Payne, a terrifying looking raven-haired man covered in tattoos he had never seen, Gigi and Taylor. “Hey guys,” Eleanor called out, “this is Harry, who you all know is knew to the company.” Everyone in the living room looked at him and waved. Harry felt like his mom was introducing him to a group of her friend’s kids. “You already know Gigi and Taylor,” she continued, “but this is Liam and Zayn.” Liam, the buff brunette, smiled at him. Zayn, the one who looked like a Gucci model, just gave him a friendly nod. He was terrifying in the same way Gigi was. 

“Hiii.” Harry drawled out. God this was awkward. Eleanor clearly didn’t think so, sitting down on the sofa next to Liam and patting the empty space next to her for Harry to sit. Harry plopped down next to her, listening to her ask Liam about his day. 

“I mean I didn’t get any parts in the October Program, so I’m looking for something to fill time with. Might go teach some classes at SAB or do some extra time in the weight room.” Liam said, adding the last part with a bit of emphasis, making Eleanor look down at his biceps. Huh. 

“I think you’re good on that last part,” Eleanor commented. “You barely break a sweat lifting me in pas rehearsals.” She raised an eyebrow at him. Harry really felt like he shouldn’t be seeing this. He was about to make a move to get up when Liam turned to him after flashing a smile at Eleanor.

“How are your Apollo rehearsals going?” Liam asked. “Cowell screaming at you guys yet?” Liam chuckled. Should Harry tell him Louis makes him want to commit a crime? Maybe not yet.

“It’s going. I did Apollo with Royal last season, so I already know the choreo, but we haven’t gotten very far in.” Harry replied, really not wanting to get into the fact that the second day of rehearsal was so awful that Harry wrote his will in case Louis killed him. Most of his things went to his mom’s cat Dusty.

“Lou is really not cooperating,” Eleanor said, “literally being such a pain in the ass.” Turns out The Louis Situation isn’t off limits.

“Seriously?” Liam asked, a disbelieving look on his face. 

“Yeah, literally refuses to speak in rehearsals.” Eleanor whispered. Liam narrowed his eyes. 

“Doesn’t sound like Lou.” 

“I know right? It’s so weird.” Eleanor said, rolling her eyes.

“What’s weird?” A high, lilting voice asked. Oh god. Dammit shit fuck. I guess Harry couldn’t make up twelve years of not going to church in one day. 

“Nothing, Lou.” Liam said a bit too quickly, making eye contact with Harry, who still hadn’t looked at Louis, scared at what he’d see. Sometimes Harry forgot to be angry at Louis because he was so damn gorgeous. 

“Weirdo,” Harry heard Louis’ voice say somewhere across the room. Harry didn’t think Louis had noticed his presence yet. Harry made the terrible choice of looking in the direction of Louis’ voice, locking eyes with the blue-eyed man. Louis’s mouth popped open in shock, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline before he smoothed out his expression and looked back at Liam. Harry looked over at Eleanor who sat with a guilty expression that matched Gigi’s from across the room. 

“Who wants to play Sorry!” Gigi shouted out, clearly looking for something to break the awkward tension that had fallen over the living room. Everyone expressed their assent. As long as Harry avoided eye contact with Louis it would be fine. 

Since Sorry! had four teams, they split into pairs. Gigi and Zayn, Eleanor and Liam, Louis and Niall, and Taylor and Harry. Harry had briefly met Taylor in rehearsal a couple days ago but hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to her with Louis stressing him out all the time. As the game went along, he almost forgot Louis was there because he and Taylor got along so well.

“Wait, you play guitar too? That’s so cool!” Taylor said, after Harry made an offhand comment about learning a song she mentioned on the guitar. 

“Yeah, the teachers at Royal had us all learn an instrument to ‘better understand music’ or some shit. It resulted in a sick dorm jam session now and then though.” Harry laughed, feeling pretty relaxed now that they were about two hours into the game, which Harry didn’t remember taking this long. 

“We won!” Louis said, jumping up and startling Harry. Did he have to be so damn loud? Niall stood up and threw an arm around Louis’ shoulder.

“The roommates have beat you all again! Suckers!” Niall cheered, and wait. Did he say roommates? Louis lived here? Gigi just said it was Niall’s- oh she didn’t. Harry looked over at Gigi, who was looking back at him with a sheepish smile on her face. She did. Harry totally got played. 

“And with that, we’re kicking you idiots out.” Louis called out. “We’ve got work bright and early tomorrow.” He said, a fond smile forming on his face. And God he was gorgeous like this, bright and open. Wait. Absolutely not. 1.) Harry didn’t date coworkers. Not after that last fiasco. And 2.) He hated Louis. As Harry put on his shoes and left with the rest of the group, he couldn’t help but wonder one thing. Why did Louis hate him?


	5. Chapter Five (Gigi and Eleanor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! This chapter is from Eleanor/Gigi's POV.  
> Song for this chapter: "Us Against the World" by Coldplay
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

Gigi  
Gigi pulled on her crewneck as she jogged down the NYCB stairs, headed into the drafty basement. The basement at the New York City Ballet held their old sets, the physical therapist’s office, a pliates studio, and the costume department. Not many dancers ever went down there, except the few going to the PT to work though an injury. Gigi came pretty much every day, and knew many of the crew members downstairs, trying to say hi whenever she could. The costume department was her favorite to visit. If you asked her, she would never admit why. 

“Hey, G.” Zayn said, looking up from the piece he was sewing for just long enough to see Gigi walk into the costume department. From what Gigi could see, he was embellishing a bodice for the Sapphires piece in the October Program. 

“Whatcha workin’ on?” Gigi asked. Even if she already knew, it was always fun to watch Zayn explain it. His normally stoic face lit up when he started talking about a certain project he was passionate about.

“Sapphires. These bodices are gonna be the death of me. Teasdale wants about a billion crystals on each one.” Zayn replied, rolling his eyes, but the right side of his mouth pulled up a little. No matter how much he complained about his boss, Lou Teasdale, he was fond of her.

“Damn, Taylor’s gonna be sparkling like a disco ball onstage.” Gigi laughed. She zipped open the backpack she brought down with her, pulling out a bottle of iced coffee and sitting down next to Zayn at the worktable. He went back to sewing, and Gigi just watched and nodded along to the quiet music Zayn kept playing in the background.

Gigi always loved watching things come together, no matter it be a recipe, a painting, or a costume. She found it fascinating how much time went into a finished product, even if the general public didn’t fully understand the effort behind it. That may be part of why Gigi loved dancing so much, the idea of making every step look easy thrilling her. 

Gigi and Zayn didn’t always talk during their lunches in the costume department. Over time, he’d started to open up, but he was silent at first, only nodding along with Gigi’s words. Gigi coming down to the basement for lunch started when she needed an extra fitting at lunch a couple weeks ago and noticed how Zayn was down here alone. Gigi came down almost every day afterwards, telling her friends it was so Zayn didn’t get lonely. If a side benefit was spending time with Zayn, who she’d had a crush on for four years, then nobody had to know. 

“How’s Apollo?” Zayn questioned. He was making the muses costumes, so he tried to check in on how the rehearsals were going every once in a while. Gigi tried not to think it had anything to do with her being a muse. Zayn was just trying to be professional. 

“Could be better. You know how Lou wasn’t talking to Harry?” Gigi asked. Zayn nodded, making brief eye contact before going back to the royal blue bodice. “Now he won’t even stand on the same side of the studio as Harry without a fuss.”

“God, I feel awful for the curly lad,” Zayn said. “Poor guy just spilled water on Louis once, it’s not like he killed his cat or something.”

“I have a feeling Louis just feels threatened.” Gigi replied, taking a sip of her iced coffee. “I mean, Harry’s an amazing dancer, and he’s slated to play Romeo.”

“I get Romeo is Lou’s dream role, but is this worth it? Ruining a relationship with his co-worker?” Zayn said, dropping the bodice and turning fully to Gigi. She did a little internal cheer at the movement. “He needs to get his shit together before Cowell starts to notice something’s wrong.”

“Oh, Cowell’s noticed.” Gigi said, her eyes widening. “He hasn’t said anything yet, but every time he sees Louis, he looks like he’s about to snap.” And it was true. Gigi was pretty sure the director was missing Apollo rehearsals on purpose, just hoping the situation would work itself out and he wouldn’t have to intervene. Gigi had her doubts about that last part.

“Maybe I should talk to him.” Zayn furrowed his brows. “If his problem with Harry is threatening his career, he needs to reign it the hell in.” Sometimes Gigi forgot that Louis and Zayn were close friends. The two boys only hung out outside of work, but they were like brothers, and they would do anything for each other. They might actually have matching tattoos now that Gigi was thinking about it. 

“Trust me, I’ve tried talking to him,” Gigi responded, rolling her eyes. She loved Louis, but he was being a pain in the ass. “He won’t even say Harry’s name. Just calls him ‘Fuckface Styles’.”

“Ooh, denial. Nice strategy.” Zayn smiled. “That’s what I’ve been doing with those muse costumes. If I pretend they’re not there, maybe I’ll never have to make them.” He shrugged. Gigi looked over at the sketches for the three muse costumes, pretty far away on a table to her left. 

“Well don’t ignore them too long, please. I’d like to not go onstage next month naked.” Gigi laughed, stilling a little when she saw something flash in Zayn’s eyes. He quickly snapped out of it and laughed with her, sounding a little forced. 

The costume shop was soon back to its usual silence, the only exception being Zayn’s quiet work music playing from his Spotify playlist. Zayn looked back down at the bodice and continued working, Gigi sitting beside him watching. The next twenty minutes of lunch passed quickly, Gigi watching Zayn’s elegant stitching, and Zayn not showing any sign he knew Gigi was still there. One day she’d get him to talk to her for more than ten minutes. For now, she’ll take what she can get.

Eleanor  
Eleanor hated confrontation. That was pretty much the only reason she’d let Louis’ cruelty towards Harry continue. The whole group was currently in Apollo rehearsals, Cowell notably absent. Again. To be honest, if Eleanor could leave, she would be out of here too.

“Can we please try and run Apollo’s solo?” Ben Winston, their assistant director, pleaded. He looked as exhausted as everyone in that rehearsal felt, his hair a mess from running his hands through it in frustration. For the last two hours, they’d been running the muses’ variations so they could avoid dealing with Louis and Harry. Mostly Louis. 

“Sounds great!” Louis exclaimed, his words dripping with a false sense of energy. He stepped towards the front of the room, taking his starting position directly in front of Harry.

“Louis.” Harry started. “It’s my turn to be in front. Move.” Harry gave Louis a death glare. Louis didn’t move a muscle. Goddamit. 

“Tomlinson!” Winston yelled, making everyone jump in surprise. Oh god. “Its Styles turn to be in front. If you don’t move, I’m sure we can find a place for you. Somewhere far away from this ballet.” Winston stared Louis down, the dancer looking like a child who was just reprimanded for talking one too many times in class. Finally, Louis moved towards the back, a relieved looking Harry taking his place. It wasn’t much, but with these two you had to take what you could. Small victories.  
*****************************************************  
Eleanor was sitting in the lobby, waiting for Gigi so they could catch the subway home when Liam approached her. 

“Hey, El! You have a good day?” he asked, standing with his hands clasped behind his back.

“It was good,” she said. “Well, except Apollo rehearsals but. That’s pretty obvious.” She laughed, hoping it didn’t sound too strained. She was gonna strangle Louis next time she saw him.

“Trust me, I’ve heard about those two.” Liam said, swallowing. “So, what are you up to this weekend?” Liam looked weirdly nervous. Eleanor had never seen him like this, the one exception being the first time they performed together at SAB. 

“Not much to be honest. I think G and I are seeing the new Chris Pine movie on Sunday.” Eleanor replied. Oh God, Liam probably didn’t give a flying fuck about the Chris Pine movie-

“I heard there was a cool street fair in town on Saturday,” Liam said, “if maybe you wanted to check it out with me?” Liam chuckled. Was he sweating? Maybe he just came from the weight room.

“Yeah, sounds great!” Eleanor smiled, trying not to be too enthusiastic. He probably didn’t even ask her on a date. This was probably a friends thing. Because they were friends. Right.

“Cool! I mean, um. Cool. I’ll text you the details.” Liam said, biting back a smile. He was really excited to hang out with just a friend. Because that’s what this was. Right? Before Eleanor could ask, Liam was walking away, quickly being replaced by Gigi, who led her outside and into the subway station.

“What did Liam want?” Gigi asked, eyebrows raised. This was her “spill your guts or I’ll throw your bagels in the trash” face. Eleanor valued her bagels.

“He asked me to come with him to this street fair on Saturday.” Eleanor said, trying to not let her excitement show. She was really fucking excited. 

“Like a date?” Gigi shrieked, about a hundred octaves too loud. Thank God subway goers were not at all interested in Eleanor’s love life. 

“Pretty sure it’s just as friends.” Eleanor said, nodding to herself. They were friends. Liam didn’t want to go on a date with her. Gigi just looked at her with narrowed eyes.

“Friends? You sure about that?” she asked, crossing her arms over her emerald green crewneck.

“Yeah. Positive.” Eleanor responded. Looking for a way out of the hotseat she asked, “And where were you at lunch?” Eleanor was pretty sure she knew the answer. 

“Costume department.” Gigi responded, scratching right below her nose, looking down at her lap. 

“What the hell do you and Zayn do down there? Besides making out I mean.” Eleanor said, leaving Gigi choking on her own spit.

“We are NOT making out.” Gigi said, face as red as a tomato. “We talk. I watch him sew.”

“You watch him sew?” Eleanor asked, not believing what she was hearing. Who watched someone sew every day for forty-five minutes? Then again, she’d watch Liam do about anything for forty-five minutes. 

“Whatever.” Gigi mumbled. The pair got off the subway, headed back to their apartment. The girls shared a two bedroom a couple floors above Louis and Niall. Louis and Niall abused this and bust into their apartment uninvited about six times a week. This was one of those times. 

The girls were in the kitchen, making stir-fry and honestly just trying to wipe away the stress of the day by chopping vegetables and blasting Four Directions. Then the banging on their door started. 

“Bet you five bucks that’s Lou.” Gigi said, from her position stirring the wok on the stove. Eleanor abandoned her scallions she was chopping at the island and trudged towards the door, opening it to reveal, who would’ve guessed, Louis. Who blew past her, walking directly into the kitchen. 

“Hello to you too Louis. Of course you can come in! Thanks for asking!” Eleanor said to the empty doorway before following Louis into the kitchen. 

“Ladies, I made a mistake.” Louis said, taking a seat on the counter. 

“Did you finally fuck Harry?” Gigi asked. “I could cut the sexual tension between you two with a Barbie play knife.”

“No!” Louis shouted, looking affronted at the accusation. “I would never. Not with Fuckface Styles.” 

“Then what happened?” Eleanor questioned, quickly steering the subject away from Harry. If Louis started ranting about Harry, he wouldn’t stop for like an hour. She knew from experience. Painful, painful experience. 

“Oh. I forgot to go grocery shopping.” Louis said. “And Niall’s on a date tonight, I think her name is Barbra? So, I need you to feed me.” He offered his best sugary-sweet smile. Fuck Louis Tomlinson and his adorable face.

“We’ve gotta stop answering the door.” Gigi said into the stir-fry on the stove.

“Excuse me, Gigi! You love me. You don’t let people you love starve.” Louis said, hopping down from the counter and hooking his chin onto Gigi’s shoulder. 

“Get off of me.” She muttered, shrugging him off. “And fine, you can have some stir-fry. Only if you’re nice to Harry tomorrow.” Gigi raised her right eyebrow at him, her lips pulling into a smirk.

“I’d rather starve.” Louis deadpanned at her.

“Oh, Goddamit Louis.” Eleanor said, hands sliding down her face. “This has gotta stop. Gigi and I are gonna get gray hair from the stress of going to rehearsal every day.”

“Nobody gets it.” Louis exclaimed. “You’re all falling for his British charms! I’m almost positive he’s gonna murder all of us or something. His dimple won’t save you when he’s coming after you with a knife.”

“Whatever, Lou.” Eleanor muttered, handing him a bowl of freshly made stir-fry. Even if he was an annoying lunatic, she still loved Louis. Gigi was banging her head against the cabinets. They were all handling this Harry situation differently.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization in the work.

Harry  
Harry wasn’t going to make it. His lungs were constricting, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. His whole body was slick with sweat, his head pounding. He was done for. Tell his mom he loves her.

“Okay guys, great class! See you Thursday!” Jesy, the NYCB pliates instructor, called out only slightly out of breath. She seemed like a sweet girl, but Harry couldn’t help but hate her after the last hour. Harry would never walk again. His career was over. 

“You like the pliates classes here?” Eleanor piped up from somewhere above him. Harry turned to look at her from where he was laying down on his yoga mat. She looked like she took a shower in her own sweat. They made quite the pair. The Sweaty Sisters. 

“Are you sure Jesy’s not planning to give us heart attacks?” Harry asked, eliciting a laugh from Eleanor. She just offered him a hand to help his tired body stand up, and once he was upright, looped her arm through his.

“This was your idea, idiot. You just made me go with you.” Eleanor said, even though Harry was pretty sure she was coming down here anyway. The only reason people go to the basement is for pliates. “Said it’s part of your Bad Ass Harry Plan.”

That’s true. Harry had been feeling like a bit of a pushover with the whole Louis Situation and decided to take some initiative to make himself feel better. Step One was improving his dancing, where the pliates classes came in. Strong abs never hurt anyone. Step Two was taking tonight to do some self-care, maybe some face masks and a bubble bath. Destressing. Step Three was viciously pranking Louis. Starting tomorrow.

“Whatever.” Harry said. “I’m headed home. You want someone to walk with you?” he asked.

“Nah. Liam’s walking home with me since G is staying late for some fitting. See you, love!” Eleanor responded, walking up to Liam who was waiting for her a few feet away. Ever since this weekend, those two had been inseparable. Maybe they finally went on a date.

Harry walked out of the building, thinking that maybe he should find someone to date. Outside the company of course. While he was pondering this, he forgot where he was going and slammed directly into the door. He prayed nobody saw that. The high lilting male laugh he heard made him think that was a no.

Walking into Lincoln Center the next day, Harry felt excited for the first time in a while. He’d been taking Louis’ shit for far too long. Harry wasn’t gonna be afraid of him anymore. Two can play Louis’ game.

Harry snuck into the locker room, knowing Louis was already in the studio with Gigi and Eleanor like he was every day. His predictable routine was extremely helpful when fucking with him. Harry found Louis’ bag, sitting on a bench in front of his locker. Bingo. He walked over to it, trying to make sure nobody saw him, which was easy since the locker room was mostly empty save for Kevin. He hadn’t spoken probably since about 2010. 

He zipped open the bag, rummaging for what he needed. After finding it, he peeled the wrapper off, replaced the can, and put the wrapper back on. Now, Harry just had to get out of there before Louis’ daily hairspray touch up. 

All through class, Harry jumped higher and felt freer. Louis was sending him death glares when he thought Harry wasn’t looking. Harry just ignored him, stepping right in front of him for the grande allegro combination. He knew Louis wouldn’t say anything. That required Louis to talk to him. 

About two hours later, the company had finished class and lunch, and were preparing for October Program rehearsals. It was then that Harry heard the shriek from the dressing room he had been waiting for, followed by running footsteps into the studio. The doors slammed open, and out of them came a blue-haired Louis. 

“Who the hell did this!” Louis screamed. “My hair is BLUE you bastards!” Louis looked around the room frantically, trying to find someone who would do this to him. Harry was cleverly hidden behind some barres. Louis’ face dawned with realization. “Styles.” He snarled, immediately running into the hall, presumably to search for Harry. Good luck with that one.

Rehearsals started a few minutes later, Louis coming in about ten minutes late, looking like he might commit arson. Harry would sleep with a fire extinguisher that night. Louis looked over and locked eyes with him, taking a breath before he screamed at Harry. 

“Apollo!” Winston called out, grabbing the cast’s attention and interrupting Louis. “We’re gonna do rehearsal today silently. Or else you’re out of the show. I mean it.” Winston looked straight at Louis and Harry. Louis clenched his hands into fists. Harry smirked at him. Good luck screaming at Harry now.

Rehearsal was…weird. Louis was silent for starters, and he let Harry take the front while they both rehearsed Apollo’s solo. Harry was so used to seeing Louis angry and bright, and it was jarring to see Louis so subdued. Well, he wasn’t subdued, he was more calculating. He looked like he was plotting and was too busy doing that to bother Harry. Harry wasn’t sure he liked it. 

Harry made sure to leave extra quickly after rehearsal that day, trying to avoid Louis at all costs. Winston wasn’t here to threaten him, so Louis could scream all he wanted. He didn’t even need to be that angry. The blue looked good on him. It brought out his eyes, as if they needed any more accentuation. Harry had to make a conscious effort to look away from him in rehearsals several times. Fuck.   
**************************  
Harry was sitting at a coffee shop a couple blocks down the road from Lincoln Center with his laptop open, scrolling down Facebook. He was once again avoiding his haunted bathroom after work. After about ten minutes of reading his racist family’s posts and rolling his eyes, he’d found out his cousin had gotten engaged. Good for her. He sipped his iced coffee, pulling out his phone to text his sister about it when he saw a blonde head pop into the shop. Looking up, Harry was presented with Niall getting in line for some coffee. Harry ducked down quickly. Would Niall know Harry dyed Louis’ hair? Would he be angry? Oh God. Harry made a mistake. Eleanor and Niall are like his only friends, and they’re probably mad at him. Shit shit shit. 

Niall came up to him, interrupting Harry’s soon to be breakdown. 

“H! How are you?” Niall asked, taking a seat across from Harry. He seemed… fine?

“Hey, Ni. I’m doing okay.” Harry said, a bit timidly, avoiding eye contact. Was he getting pranked? Was Ashton Kutcher about to jump out at him?

“Thought you’d be doing better after what happened to Lou today.” Niall responded casually, Harry almost choking on his coffee. 

“Wh-what?” Harry got out, still coughing from his lil’ choking mishap.

“You dyed Louis’ hair blue! It was hilarious mate!” Niall laughed. Harry was still confused.

“You’re not angry? I…dyed your best friend’s hair blue.” Harry replied, eyebrows furrowed. He needed Niall to understand that he should probably be angry. Harry dyed his best friend’s hair blue.

“Yeah you did.” Niall said. “And he deserved it.” Oh. Shit. That was unexpected.

“Um. I mean I guess.” Harry started. “I really didn’t think he’d be that angry. I mean dyeing his hair blue with temporary spray is basically nothing compared to the shit he’s put me through the last three weeks.” Harry started running his hands through his hair. “You know, he spent an entire rehearsal with me without telling me I had pomegranate juice on my forehead. I looked like a fifteen-year-old with unmanageable acne.” Harry rolled his eyes. 

“No, mate I agree.” Niall said. “The shit Louis’ done to you- I mean he’s being a right dick. So, to be honest, I don’t give a fuck what you do to him. As long as it like, doesn’t physically impair him or anything.” Niall shrugged, taking a sip of his americano. Harry just got Louis’ best friend’s blessing to totally fuck with him. Watch out, New York City Ballet. All hell was about to break loose.

“You good, H?” Niall asked. Shit. Harry forgot to respond. “You got like, this creepy look on your face. Please don’t like hold me hostage to get to Louis.” Niall considered it for a moment. “Actually, if you feed me it’s cool to hold me hostage.”

“Thanks for the permission, bud.” Harry said, holding a hand to his heart. After that fucking weird exchange, Niall started going on about this date he went on with a girl named Barbra. Apparently she was a vet, so she took Niall on a date to a petting zoo. They’ve got a date next Tuesday. Niall wants to marry her. Same old, same old.

The pair stayed at the coffee shop for an hour or so, getting to know each other. Turns out, Niall lived in Ireland before moving to America to train when he was fourteen. He’s been living with Louis since then, and has never had a serious girlfriend, which is why he’s so excited about Barbra, saying he can really see them going somewhere. Also, he danced on a Disney Channel show once in 2011. So that’s cool. 

When Niall leaves, saying he’ll tell Louis he met his friend Ed, Harry’s left wondering why Louis hates him in the first place. As far as Harry knows, they’d never met before The Hallway Incident. So why has he been so rude to him since? And it’s not like Louis is a rude person. He’s witnessed Louis comfort a crying Gigi, give homeless people money, and exchange fond banter with Niall. Louis is a good person, so obviously he thought Harry had done something.

Harry racked his brain for anything he said the first time he met Louis that could be offensive. At first, Harry thought Louis was just having a really shitty day, but bad days don’t really last for three weeks. If someone spread some fucked about Harry to Louis, Eleanor would’ve set the record straight. The whole situation sucked because he felt Louis would be a great friend if he didn’t hate Harry so damn much. 

Louis was bright, and beautiful, and honestly just an incredible person to admire what he’s like. When he’s not with Harry. With Harry, he was all sharp edges, his deadly bone structure just accentuating the glares he sends Harry’s way. At this point, Harry’s just hoping today’s events made Louis stop messing with him. Harry just wanted to send him a message, that he couldn’t be walked all over, not make him despise Harry more and retaliate. 

Harry should’ve been angry when he opened his bag after class the next day to find his ballet shoes dyed green. He was just disappointed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hope you all enjoy!  
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization in the work.

Louis  
In hindsight, this should’ve been expected. Leaving Louis and Harry alone in a studio together was a bad idea. Like, colossally bad. Someone should’ve stopped it. Louis should have stopped it.

After the small prank war, Harry and Louis went back to ignoring each other. Louis didn’t fancy getting his hair dyed (again), and the paint Louis used on Harry’s ballet shoes was expensive. So, for a couple days, everything was back to normal. As normal as it got with those two. Eleanor was still maintaining her friendships with both boys, Gigi and Zayn were acting as weird as always, and Liam was still going to the gym constantly, making everyone feel bad about themselves. Louis was still trying to avoid looking at Harry.

He was just so beautiful, that was the thing. When he wasn’t opening his pretentious, role-stealing mouth (that Louis would really like against his mouth), he was like some Greek god. His jawline was sharp enough to cut onions (Louis was bad with metaphors), his emerald eyes greener than grass on a warm spring day. His hair looked like it should smell of cinnamon and fresh baked gingerbread. His strong arms looked as fit for giving hugs as they did for lifting dancers in rehearsal. So, Louis had to keep his gaze away from him. Because Harry wasn’t a gentle giant. He was a pretentious dickwad. He really was.

Louis was going through his routine as usual that morning, arriving at the studio twenty minutes early to talk to Gigi, who was bundled in sweaters on the studio floor. Louis didn’t understand how she wore so many layers all the damn time. She was always wearing some sort of pants during class unless she had to take them off, and more often than not she wore long sleeve leotards. Louis would probably die if he wore sweatpants in class for more than fifteen minutes. But then again, he was pretty sure Gigi was a cold-blooded snake. She was terrifying when she wanted to be. Anyway. 

“Morning, bitch.” Louis greeted her, oh so lovingly. She just gave him a grunt in response. He sat down beside her on the cool studio floor. “How’s Zayn?” He asked.

“I don’t see why you’re asking me.” Gigi said, her words muffled from under her sweater pile. “You’re capable of asking him yourself.” Louis actually talked to Zayn yesterday after work. He just liked to see Gigi squirm occasionally. 

“I don’t see why you’re deflecting.” Louis responded, rolling onto his stomach and propping his head in his hands. “You see him more than I do.”

“I do not.” Gigi scoffed. “And when I do see him, I pretty much just watch him sew the muse’s costumes. So, you probably know better than I do.” Louis couldn’t see her face, but she sounded a little disappointed. And yes, Zayn could be a little bit of a quiet guy (more like silent unless he was high), but Louis knew he cared about Gigi. He mentioned her like five times yesterday. For perspective, Zayn forgot to tell Louis about his last girlfriend.

“You ready for opening night next week?” Louis asked, sensing the need for a subject change. 

“I mean I guess.” Gigi replied, sticking her head out from under her sweater fort. Her French twist was a bit messed up. “I think the better question is are you ready?” She asked, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at him. 

“Absolutely,” Louis said. “What kind of professional would I be if I wasn’t?” 

“Since when are you a professional?” Gigi asked, a shit-eating grin on her face. Louis lunged at her, and she quickly ducked back into her sweater pile as he attempted to tickle her. Their laughs filled the empty studio, echoing against the ceiling. Louis had a feeling it would be a good day.   
***************************  
Louis was wrong. Louis was so, so wrong. Everything had gone to utter, absolute shit. Turns out, the weird unspoken peace agreement between Harry and Louis was the calm before the storm. Louis’ shin splits had been acting up today, so he couldn’t jump because it hurt like a bitch to land. So, Louis sat out of rehearsal today, opting to sit and watch rehearsal from the front of the room on orders from the physical therapist in the basement. Harry looked much too happy dancing up there all on his own. 

“Beautiful Mr. Styles!” Cowell exclaimed from the chair next to Louis. Louis glared. Of fucking course Simon came into this rehearsal to take notes. 

“Thank you, sir.” Harry said, a bit breathless from his solo, making a little praying motion with his hands. Who did that? God he’s such a hipster. Louis hated him. 

“Okay, let’s run it from the top a couple more times.” Cowell said, clapping his hands in excitement. Louis watched the cast run to opening places. If Louis thought it was bad having to dance alongside Harry, it didn’t compare at all to having to watch Harry dance in his place. Watching as he did his solo variation, Louis was hit with all the feelings that he experienced when he encountered Harry for the first time. All the jealousy, insecurity, and anger were running through his veins like a drug. Louis’ jaw hurt from unknowingly clenching it for the last hour of rehearsal. His palms had idents from where his nails had been digging into them since Harry started dancing. This was torture. 

Dancing during an injury was a nightmare. But not dancing was almost worse. A crippling sense of uselessness hits you. Dancing was Louis’ purpose. And if he wasn’t dancing, then what was he doing? Sitting here while Harry was dancing felt like giving up. The rivalry between them may be in Louis’ head, but what if it’s not? What if Cowell was pushing Louis with Harry? Harry gets to prove himself to Cowell today in rehearsal and Louis doesn’t. It’s not fair. Harry’s up there being his perfect self, and Cowell is falling more in love with him by the second. Soon enough, Cowell will probably forget about Louis, and replace him with Harry. After all, why pay two soloists, when you could save the money and get rid of the worse one? Sounded like a great deal for Simon to make. 

Louis made a bit of a snap decision after before the next run through. 

“I can dance!” Louis exclaimed, hopping up from his chair. “I’m feeling better. All good.” He flashed a thumbs up to Simon, paired with an unconvincing smile.

“You sure, Tomlinson?” Cowell questioned. “I really don’t want you injuring yourself further a week from opening.” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Trust me, I’m fine. Good as always.” Louis said, walking over to his opening position. He felt a bit of a twinge in his shin, but it would be fine. He was a dancer. Dancers worked through pain. 

Harry took his position alongside him, ready to start the run-through. He was slightly too close to Louis, but the music started before he could say anything about it. As they went through the show, Harry was all up in his space. What a self-centered asshole. As Louis jumped, he could feel his shins protesting, begging him to stop. He’d had shin splits since he was thirteen. He would be fine. 

About halfway through the ballet, Louis thought that Harry must have forgotten Louis was even there. He blocked Louis’ path several times, and even whacked him with his arm once. Louis had just about enough. 

“Wait!” Louis called out, stopping in his tracks. His shins throbbed. “Cowell. Please tell Styles he’s so close to me I can smell the Caesar salad he had for lunch on his breath. He needs to respect my dance space.” Cowell looked back at Louis. He looked at Harry. He was silent for about thirty seconds.

“So it’s as bad as Winston told me.” Cowell mumbled. Louis’ eyebrows raised to his hairline. Winston was snitching on them to Cowell. Damn. “Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Cowell started. “Tomlinson, Styles. You’re coming in here tonight to work out this ballet. I don’t care how long it takes. You are continually wasting everyone’s time, and to be quite honest, everyone is sick of you two’s shit. Figure it out. Or some adjustments will have to be made that you probably won’t like. You all are dismissed for the day. Tomlinson and Styles, you’ll be seeing each other tonight.” Simon turned, leaving the studio. Everybody else stayed frozen. Harry huffed from beside him, quickly walking away, the girls following him out. Fuck.  
***********************  
Louis took a calming breath outside the studio doors. His shins were freezing from icing them after their first shitshow of a rehearsal, and he was considering just turning around and going home. Then, he remembered Simon’s vague threat and decided that losing his position wasn’t worth this. He could do this. Louis had dealt with many ballet divas in his day. Harry was just another one.

Walking in the doors, he found Harry warming up, his left leg resting on the barre as he bent over it. He snapped his neck up at the sound of the opening door, immediately making eye contact with Louis. It was too much for him to handle. Louis quickly looked away and moved towards the stereo. He was about to ask Harry if he was finally ready to start when he realized something. He hadn’t talked to Harry since he met him the first time a month ago. Louis didn’t even know how to talk to him now. 

“You ready to start?” Harry asked, breaking Louis out of his reverie. His voice was cold, not at all like Louis was used to hearing it when Harry spoke with Eleanor or Liam. Whatever. Louis could give as much shit as he could take. In response to Harry, Louis simply nodded, and walked to where their starting position was in the center of the studio. Harry scoffed. “Still not talking to me? God, you’re such a child.” Louis rolled his eyes. He wasn’t be childish. He was being stubborn. There’s a difference. 

Harry started the music, and they began to dance through the solo. Icing his shins had helped, but not enough to completely ease the pain in Louis’ legs. Nevertheless, he kept dancing. He couldn’t look weak in front of Harry. 

As they were dancing, it was clear there was a disconnect between them. They were practically moving to completely different music, the timing was so different. Harry’s classical training made his Apollo more flowy and graceful, while Louis’ Balanchine training made his Apollo stronger, with a more powerful edge. It wasn’t working. Even Louis could see that, and apparently Harry could too, as he moved to stop the music.

“Louis, we have to fix this.” He started. “We’re going onstage in a week, and we look a mess.” Louis just bit the inside of his cheek in response. “We can’t communicate and work through this if you don’t talk to me Louis.” Harry said, clearly irritated with him. Louis narrowed his eyes. He’ll learn sign language before he talks to Harry. 

“Louis, what is your problem with me?” Harry finally spat out, turning to look at him. His emerald eyes were wild, his breathing heavy. “Huh? Did I do anything but spill your water on you a month ago?” Louis just stared back. “Or are you just so insecure that me being here ruffles your feathers? Huh? Yes Louis. I am a good dancer. Just as good as, maybe better, than you. Is that the real issue?” At this point Harry was yelling, his voice booming in the empty, cavernous space. “Is my being here too much for your poor little ego? Are you sca-“

“Shut up! Fuck, just shut up!” Louis shouted, running his hands through his hair. After that, it was like the dam broke.

“Oh now he finally speaks! God, Louis you’re scared aren’t you? That’s the real issue.” It wasn’t until Louis’ back hit the wall that he realized Harry had been backing him up. Harry put his hands next to Louis’ head on the wall. “That’s the problem? Right?” Harry smirked at him.

Louis took in the charged air between them. He stared up at Harry, his pupils dilating. He looked down at his mouth. His lips- they were sinful. And in that moment, Louis wanted nothing more than those lips on his. Harry was looking at him like he wanted to devour him. With one more glance at Harry’s eyes, the decision was made. 

They moved in at the same time, their lips crashing together. All the hate, the tension, and the fear was spread out on the table as they moved their lips against each other. This was really all Louis wanted, for like ever. This had to be the best kiss he’d ever had. The undeniable chemistry between them finally had an outlet. Louis was almost worried he would never function again after this. He’d be totally fine dying after tonight. Harry’s hands gripped his waist as Louis hands grappled for purchase against Harry’s back. Just as quickly as it began, Harry jumped back like he’d been burned. Louis’ jaw dropped open, as he stared wide eyed at Harry. 

“I- I have to go. I’ll… see you I guess.” Harry said, clearing his throat, then turning and practically sprinting out of the studio, leaving Louis alone, leaning against the wall. Shit.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the quick break, I was travelling. Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work. Enjoy!

Harry  
The first few seconds that Harry was awake the next morning were wonderful. He opened his eyes, took a deep breath, and stretched his muscles, tight from dancing yesterday. He was ready to face the day, after a cup of coffee. Of course, that’s when he remembered.

So yes, Harry might have had a slight error in judgement last night. Oh, fuck it, Harry made a horrible, horrible mistake. Kissing Louis in the studio was quite possibly the worst thing Harry could’ve done for their relationship. Whatever relationship they had at this point. Did they still hate each other? Maybe. And the worst part was it was a fucking amazing kiss. Like earth-shattering. How was Harry supposed to look Louis in the eye now? He was bound to see the thinly veiled desire in Harry’s gaze every time he looked at him. 

The feeling of dread Harry felt upon realizing what he did the night before didn’t go away while he was getting dressed and walking to Lincoln Center, it only intensified. He breathed in the city’s morning air (it smelled awful) trying to calm himself down. Louis was good at ignoring him, he would probably just continue that. And even if he didn’t, it wasn’t like Louis was going to suddenly be nice to him because they kissed once. Harry’s just going to pretend it never happened. Seems to be the easiest option.   
***********************  
Warm-up class that day was weirdly normal. The only difference was he wasn’t getting death glares from Louis, due to the fact that Louis wasn’t looking at him. It felt familiar, almost nice, like settling back into a routine. Harry still didn’t like the routine though. 

The thing is, Harry wasn’t built for having enemies. That’s why he left Royal Ballet in the first place, it felt too suffocating, and putting up walls to protect himself was exhausting. Harry prided himself on being a kind person, and it’s difficult being kind to someone who hates your very existence. At the Royal, Harry saw himself becoming someone he wasn’t proud of. He can’t go there again. He promised himself.

Harry saw Eleanor sitting alone at a table in the dancer’s common room during lunch and decided to join her. Harry had avoided her at lunch before because she always sat with Louis, but today he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was with Gigi. Harry was taking this opportunity while he could.

“Hey, El. Mind if I sit?” Harry asked, gesturing towards the seat across from her. Eleanor looked surprised to see him when she looked up from her phone, but she looked happy as well. So at least he wasn’t imposing. 

“Yeah, totally H. Where have you been hiding out during lunch anyway? I never see you.” El questioned as he sat down. She speared a piece of chicken from her salad while Harry pulled out his protein bowl. 

“Oh, just in the locker room or something usually.” He looked down at his bowl. Harry sounded a lot like he was some lonely new kid, but he had friends. He did. 

“Why? That’s so depressing. You could’ve sat here, like anytime.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Wait is this because of Louis? Jesus, he’s gotten to you.” Harry shook his head, trying to deny any inkling that Louis scared Harry. He didn’t.

“No, no. It wasn’t because of Louis.” Harry said, taking a swallow of his green smoothie. Call him a hipster, but he likes fueling his body with nutrients. “I just didn’t want to impose on your trio, I guess.” Eleanor scoffed at him. 

“Harry, I’ve known you for about a month and you’re like one of my favorite people ever. Feel free to impose anytime.” She smiled at him. It felt nice to be accepted. Being the newbie was never Harry’s favorite thing, but Eleanor made it more manageable. “And don’t worry about Louis. I meant to ask actually,” Eleanor continued, “did something happen last night? At your mini rehearsal? He’s been acting weird today.”

Harry tried not to choke on his chicken. He didn’t expect anyone to ask about that. Now that he’s thinking about it, he kind of thought Louis would tell Eleanor what happened. Well, Harry’s sure as hell not telling her. “Nothing happened.” Harry said, trying to make eye contact with her. He tried not to seem to eager when he asked, “What do you mean he’s acting different?” 

“I don’t know, he’s just been zoning out and shit. And he’s eating lunch with Gigi and Zayn down in the costume department, which is odd. Why would he put himself through sitting with them and their heart eyes? Digusting.” Eleanor said, rolling her eyes. She had a fond smile on her face though. She was clearly rooting for Gigi and Zayn to get together. So was Harry, if he’s being honest, and he’s only met Zayn once.

“Speaking of romance,” Harry started, “you gone out on any dates lately?” If he was fishing for info on her and Liam, nobody had to know. “Maybe?” she responded, sounding genuinely confused. 

“What do you mean maybe?” Harry asked. “Usually you know if you’re on a date.”

“I know, just Liam and I have been hanging out and I don’t know if they’re dates, or just like hanging out with a friend?” Eleanor said, looking down at her food. “It doesn’t matter. Have you gone on any hot dates? Any girls, or guys, you’re interested in?” She asked. And he realized how depressing it was he hadn’t been on any dates in New York yet. 

“No dates. No guys I’m interested in either. I try to, like, stay away from dating other company members. It can get messy.” He said, gauging Eleanor’s reaction to his version of coming out to her. She didn’t flinch, just nodded at him. 

“Makes sense. You know, I actually have a guy I could set you up with.” She said, a smirk working its way onto her face. Was Harry up for going on a date? It had been a while, almost a year at least. But it was probably best to get Louis out of his system as fast as possible. 

“Sure! Tell me about him.” Harry responded. Eleanor told him that the guy was named Adam, and he was an art curator, which Harry found pretty interesting. He always liked a guy who could appreciate the arts. He’d been on too many dates where men thought his job was easy, or boring. Eleanor supposedly met Adam through Louis, but him and Louis weren’t that close anymore while Adam and Eleanor stayed friends. At least he wouldn’t have heard any bullshit about Harry through Louis. She gave Harry Adam’s number right as they were getting ready to head to rehearsal.

“I think you two will get on.” Eleanor said. “Super nice guy, saw him carry a turtle across the road once.” And Harry really loved nice guys. It was a turn on for him. Sue him.

“I’m excited. Been a while since I’ve been on a date. Can I send you outfit options later?” Harry asked. He genuinely needed advice, and Eleanor was his closest friend at this point.

“I was expecting them.” Eleanor laughed, and they started walking to the studio for Apollo rehearsal together. It felt good not having to come alone. Like having an ally on his side for the everlasting battle that was October Program rehearsals.

The pair walked through the doors together, being greeted with the sight of Gigi and Louis stretching on the studio floors. They both looked up, Louis making fleeting eye contact with Harry before breaking it again. Gigi gave them a smile and a little wave and Harry smiled back. Surprisingly, Eleanor stayed with Harry while they warmed back up for rehearsal, and they chatted about opening night next week. They were both pretty nervous, so it felt good to vent his thoughts about it to El and have her agree. Made him feel less crazy. 

Rehearsal started on time, Simon walking through the door with Winston. Cowell had been coming to rehearsal the past two days and it made Harry a bit nervous. Maybe more than a bit. Harry just didn’t want to let Cowell down after he took such a chance on Harry. 

“Dancers! I want to see this ballet, and I want to see it better than yesterday. Let’s go.” Cowell called out while he sat down, pulling out a clipboard and pen. Everyone took opening positions, Harry slightly behind Louis. Here’s hoping it’s better than last night. Not that Harry would mind a repeat of certain events from last night.

The music started, Ed playing on the piano, and the dancers jumped into action. As the ballet progressed, it was evident something had changed. The three girls were beautiful as always, but Harry and Louis had become much less… aggressive towards each other. The boys stayed in their own lanes, for the most part pretending the other wasn’t there. Before, their movements had the purpose of besting the other. Now, it was for themselves. It worked well, and the show looked much better than it had been, for sure. Cowell looked pleased. By the time they had finished rehearsal that day, Harry felt almost more anxious than he did that morning. No big confrontation with Louis yet. The other shoe with Louis had to drop at some point. 

That point came while Harry was walking out of Lincoln Center that night. He was sweaty from the pliates class he took with Eleanor a few minutes ago, and he altogether felt disgusting. But the nice October air hitting his face felt refreshing, so life wasn’t all bad. At least the leaves were pretty.

“Styles!” Harry heard Louis’ voice call from behind him. He whipped around, surprised to hear his voice. Louis was walking towards him, the wind ruffling his caramel hair. His eyes were a clear shade of blue in the light, a determined set to his brow. 

“Louis, hey.” Harry said, looking Louis in the eye, trying not to look nervous. Louis took a breath.

“ I know things have been, erm-, rocky between us. But I think we should call a truce.” Louis said, and what? A truce? This was the last thing Harry expected him to suggest. After all the bullshit Louis put him through, he wanted to call a truce. Harry was bewildered, but not opposed. He then realized he should probably respond. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I agree.” Harry responded, nodding his head. He started twisting the ring around his right index finger as Louis looked him in the eye.

“Okay, great.” Louis turned to go, stopping for a moment. He looked conflicted, before finally shaking his head, and turning back to Harry. “And I’m sorry. For all the shit I did to you earlier. Yeah.” Louis said, clearing his throat. He rubbed his hands together and walked away for real. And woah. That was unexpected. What was weirder was that Louis looked genuine. 

Harry started walking home, pondering his last interaction with the shorter man. What was with Louis’ sudden change of heart? Just yesterday, they were fighting. Like, aggressively. There’s no way he suddenly realized that his actions weren’t the most admirable. Harry also wished he got to apologize for yelling at Louis yesterday. The guilt from his rant was eating away at him. Sure, Harry was provoked and angry at the time, but the things he said to Louis were so, so rude. Louis deserved an apology, especially after he swallowed his pride and apologized to Harry. 

When Harry got home to his Ghost Apartment, he did the only thing he could given the circumstances. He texted Eleanor. 

‘Hey, El! I was just wondering if you had Louis’ number. I had a Apollo question to ask him. Xx’

‘of couse i do h. here: 646-754-3384’ 

‘thanks :)”

Now that Harry had Louis’ number, he had to follow through with the hard part. He paced his apartment (avoiding the bathroom) trying to work up the courage to text him. Harry wasn’t sure why he was so nervous; it was just Louis. After repeating a mantra of “You can do it!” to himself, Harry picked up his phone, opening the text message app. He typed out his message, and with a final breath, hit send. It was done.

‘I’m sorry too. -Harry’


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opening Night!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.  
> Enjoy! If you have the time, please leave a comment :) They make my day!

Louis  
Every opening night was the same for Louis. He wakes up feeling jittery and remains completely keyed up the entire day. He finds someone to annoy to get his mind off of the impending event, usually Gigi and Eleanor upstairs, who both have their own show day rituals. Gigi watches Tangled every damn show day. She says it helps her to have a good cry before a performance, that it calms her down. Eleanor likes to eat a shit ton of fruit and listen to Nicki Minaj. It’s weird, but if it helps her get in the zone, Louis is in no place to judge. After pacing around the girls’ apartment for a while, Louis usually goes to grab lunch for the trio (and sometimes Niall) at the Noodles and Company down the street. Gigi’s mom used to make her eat pasta before shows, and they’d all latched onto the tradition. 

Louis was returning from his noodle run, ready to watch Tangled with Gigi. What can he say, Flynn Rider is hot. As hot as an animated character can be anyway. The boat scene always makes him feel lonely, but it’s a small price to pay for getting to watch his favorite animated prince for an hour and a half. Louis walks in the yellow door to the girls’ apartment, which really should be locked, and announces his presence lovingly, so the girls know they’re not being robbed. 

“Noodles have arrived, bitches!” Louis calls, entering the living room where Eleanor is holding a bowl of strawberry slices on the checkered plush chair in the corner. Gigi comes out of her room, wearing a mossy green pullover and black sweatpants, and makes a beeline for the noodle bag. She’s got a one-track mind when it comes to her Japanese pan noodles. She pulls out her container, mumbling a thank you to Louis before plopping on the red couch and throwing Eleanor the Tangled DVD. 

“El, you’re closer, can you put it in?” Gigi asks, provoking a groan from Eleanor. Nevertheless, El got up and put the disc into their age-old DVD player. Louis had no clue how it still worked. He grabbed his bowl of mac and cheese from the noodle bag, sitting down next to Gigi on the couch. He felt like he should run a marathon, twitchy and anxious, but he settled down hoping the Disney movie would calm him down.  
*************************  
“Flynn is like my dream man,” Louis said, buried in the knit blankets the girls kept on the couch. “He’s brunette, confident, tall, witty… just the whole package.” Louis stuffed some of El’s orange slices into his mouth, while watching Flynn serenade Rapunzel in a canoe. She’d moved onto oranges after she ate a whole carton of strawberries.

“You know, Flynn kinda reminds me of Harry.” Gigi commented, while taking a sip from her coffee on the side table. Louis scoffed. If anything, Harry was more of a Disney princess than a prince. He had the big doe eyes, innocent personality, and pale, milky skin. Louis meant this in the most platonic, bro way possible. He and Harry were on good terms now.

Getting that text from Harry had been a shock, obviously. Louis assumed Harry got his number from El or someone, but the apology was unexpected. Harry had been the target of Louis’ aggressions, not really the other way around. Sure, he dyed Louis’ hair blue, but that was a harmless prank. It washed out anyway. And yeah, Harry yelled at him, but Louis needed to hear it, and it was all true. Harry did make Louis insecure, and Louis just needed to grow up and get over it. So he and Harry were on good terms now.

“I don’t really see it.” Louis told Gigi. She just hummed in recognition, keeping her attention on the TV as Rapunzel was kidnapped by the bad guys. Louis turned to look at Eleanor, who was asleep on the chair, and decided that maybe a pre-show nap was in order. Yeah, it was in order.  
*******************************  
Gigi shook Louis awake, taking him out of his dream state. All he could remember was that he and Harry were canoeing together. 

“Lou, we gotta go in like twenty minutes. Pack your shit.” Gigi said, turning to go pack her makeup bags. Louis slowly moved from the couch, and walked out of the apartment, going to his own two floors below. When he entered, he packed his makeup bag and went to make sure Niall was ready to leave. Louis found him in the kitchen, talking to Barbra on the phone. They seemed really happy together, and she was coming to the show tonight, so Niall was a bit nervous. He threw up this morning. He’d be fine. 

After Niall hung up with Barbra (which took fifteen minutes, the saps) and got his bags ready, they were five minutes late to meet the girls downstairs. Eleanor hated when people were late, so the boys did what they had to do and sprinted down the halls, trying to make it downstairs as fast as possible. When they opened the lobby doors, they were met with three heads instead of the expected two. One blonde head, one head of long brown hair, and one head of curly, chocolate hair. That was a bit of a surprise. The trio turned around at the sound of Louis and Niall’s footsteps, El with an irritated furrow to her brow. 

“Sorry we’re late babes, lover boy here couldn’t get off the phone.” Louis said to Eleanor, gesturing to Niall with his thumb. Eleanor’s face softened a little bit. It was hard to stay mad at Niall. He was so damn adorable.

“So, Barbra is coming?” Harry piped up, a hopeful tone to his voice. Harry always seemed to get excited when someone mentioned anything about love or relationships. It wasn’t endearing. 

“Yeah. Yeah she is.” Niall smiled, almost so wide it looked like it hurt. The group started walking to Lincoln Center, while Niall continued his speech about how Barbra was like god’s greatest creation. Louis tuned out a while ago, around when he compared Barbra’s eyes to the color of the world’s most beautiful oceans. 

“Lou, remind me why you walk every day? The subway is faster, and I’m freezing my tits off here.” Gigi said, interrupting Niall and his sonnets. Louis just rolled his eyes and responded, at the same time as Harry, “The subway smells like piss.” 

“Thank God you agree,” Harry said, turning his torso towards Louis on his left. “It smells like a airplane toilet in there.” Louis chuckled. 

“The streets may smell like shit, but never as bad as the subways. Those smell like actual shit.” Louis laughed, prompting a cackle from Harry, who slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle it. It was a bit of a weird laugh. 

“You two are wusses.” El said, a mischievous glint in her eye. She always looked like that while talking about Louis and Harry, and it was getting weird. The five of them continued to walk after that, conversation about opening night flowing steadily between them. Everyone was nervous but Harry, who wasn’t performing tonight. He would perform the role of Apollo at tomorrow’s show, but he was there as Louis’ understudy tonight, should anyone poison him or trip him down the stairs. Harry probably wouldn’t do those things. Probably.

They took the back entrance to Lincoln Center, the front already thronged with well-dressed audience members. Louis always appreciated how people dressed up for the ballet. Made him feel special. As the dancers headed down the hallways to their dressing rooms, Louis could feel the energy of the atmosphere around him. The footsteps of dancers running through the halls was like a heartbeat, the orchestra warming up above them like a familiar song from childhood. This was where Louis belonged. More than anywhere.

Louis’ dressing room was across from El and Gigi’s, and he usually shared with Niall. Since Harry didn’t have a dressing room yet, the boys let him set up camp with them. The dressing room was small, with cream-colored walls, and mirrors covering half the walls. They had a small couch, and Niall brought a green shaggy rug for the floor years ago. As the boys settled in to do their makeup, Niall hooked up to the Bluetooth speaker he brought to play the “Ni and Lou Pre-Show Mixxx” which consisted of a lot of Taylor Swift. The pulsing beats of “…Ready for It?” filled the space while the boys got ready in companionable silence. It felt a lot like home. Including the Nicki Minaj that could be heard from across the hall.

“I appreciate the amount of T-Swift on this playlist,” Harry said after Louis had finished his makeup. Niall always took longer since he was hopeless at eyeliner. “Her hype songs are underrated.”

“Styles, I 100% agree.” Louis replied, as “I Did Something Bad” started coming through the speakers. “Her breakup songs are wonderful, got me through one or two breakups myself, but nothing gets me in the mood to go onstage like her Reputation album.” Louis got up to get changed after carefully spraying his hair. In this ballet, his costume wasn’t a lot of fabric. He was going to be wearing a pair of white tights, shirtless except for a piece of white fabric strung across his chest. So, not much coverage. 

Louis started to strip in the corner, pulling off his navy sweater first, careful not to screw up his hair and makeup, then pulling off his sweatpants. Was he hallucinating or did he feel eyes on his back? Louis was too chicken to turn around, but he quickly pulled on his tights. He attempted to tie on the fabric for his chest, but he couldn’t get the angle right. 

“Hey Ni?” Louis said, turning around after about two minutes of trying to tie it on his own. Harry was looking down when Louis’ gaze landed on him. “I need some help with this damn fabric thingy.” Niall was doing his hair, combing it with gel. 

“Busy, mate.” Niall responded, clearly not at all hearing or caring about what Louis just said. Damn him, Louis needed help. Louis rolled his eyes, ready to go across the hall to ask the girls when he heard Harry.

“I could- I could help.” Harry said, stopping Louis in his tracks. Well problem solved, he guessed. Harry walked over to him as Louis turned around, handing the white fabric strip to Harry. Harry wrapped it around him, having to step closer to reach around his back. Harry’s arms were wrapped around him, almost like a hug but not quite. They were about two inches apart, and Louis was suddenly hit with memories of the last time they were this close. Not that he didn’t think about it pretty much every night. 

Harry continued to work on the fabric, trying to find a way to make it stay put. He had a determined look in his eye, his tongue peeking out while he concentrated. Louis was gonna need Harry to step back soon, because in these tights he couldn’t really hide how affected he was by Harry’s proximity and the look in his eyes. He probably looked like that when he- and nope not going there night now. White tights.

Just when Louis was about to step away, Harry took his hands off the fabric in a ‘voila’ manner. “Done.” He said, looking Louis in the eye. He had a satisfied smile on his face, his green eyes almost glimmering in the light. Louis needed to get some space between them like, two minutes ago.

“Thanks, Styles.” Louis breathed out, quickly turning around and headed out of the room and across the hall to the girls’ room. Their room had the same cream-colored walls and small couch as the boys’, but they had added cute tiffany blue throw pillows and a white fuzzy rug. Miley Cyrus was playing over their Bluetooth speaker. Gigi turned around upon seeing him enter in the mirror. She was dressed in her white toga-style costume, her hair in a high bun. She carefully inspected his face. 

“Um, Lou? Why do you look like you just got a blowjob?” She asked, causing Eleanor to whip around to look at him before bursting out laughing. 

“Oh my God! You totally do! Did you get some in the storage closet?” Eleanor questioned, raising her eyebrows, trying not to laugh. It wasn’t working.

“No! No, of course I didn’t!” Louis exclaimed, shoving Gigi out of the way to get a look at his face in the mirror. He was flushed, but it wasn’t even that bad. Okay, it was bad, but as long as Harry didn’t notice earlier, he was fine. 

“You sure?” Gigi asked, a smirk on her face. Louis just rolled his eyes, and turned to Eleanor to talk to her until the show started. By the time they were called to stage, Louis’ face had returned to normal, and he was sufficiently nervous. 

The Apollo cast watched the first two pieces from backstage, and Louis was incredibly proud of Perrie and Niall for their pas de deux. They captured all the dramatic, fiery energy of Don Quixote, and made it all look effortless. Sophia Smith and Kendall Jenner rocked the Sapphire duet from Jewels. And before he knew it, Louis was on for Apollo. He gave El, Gigi, and Perrie quick hugs before they went onstage. He started to walk out when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Louis turned around, only to be met with gentle green eyes framed by soft-looking curls.

“Good luck.” Harry smiled, and Louis sent him a quick smile and a nod before going out onstage. The lights were bright, and Louis looked out into the audience and saw a black mass, no distinguishable faces. Just the way he liked it. Ed started the orchestra from the pit, and Louis sprung into action. 

Performing was Louis’ true reason for dancing. Being onstage made him feel like himself, even though he was acting. He was someone else, but he got to make that character his own. He got to channel his feelings from the past month into the ballet. It was only a half hour, but all the anger and insecurity Louis had felt came out onstage, and it made his performance brilliant. On that stage, Louis was home. And God, nothing felt anywhere near as good. He wondered if it ever would.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing for a sec. Happy New Year!!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

Harry

Harry’s date with Adam had gone well. The pair went to dinner at a swanky sushi place uptown and went on a nice walk in Central Park together. Very much a first date. Adam was a real gentleman, kind, and also very attractive. He had a head of shaggy blonde hair (a bit long, but that’s how Harry liked it), gentle brown eyes, and he was tall. Adam had a few inches on Harry, which made him about six three. He was exactly Harry’s type. How did Eleanor know?

Conversation flowed between the two easily, and they discussed movies, favorite TV shows (they both agreed Friends couldn’t be topped), and their families. Harry loved any excuse to talk about his mom and sister, who both lived in Ohio. Adam had three siblings, two brothers and a sister who were all older than him. Harry and Adam talked about being the youngest child, all the pains and privileges that came with the role. They finally got around to talking about their jobs as they walked around Central Park late that night, the autumn wind ruffling Harry’s perfectly prepped hair. Adam asked about Harry’s opening night, which he must have heard about from Eleanor. Harry was all too willing to talk about it.

Harry’s opening night had gone perfectly. Spectacularly, actually. He didn’t miss a beat onstage, didn’t trip once. The girls played the muses with grace and elegance, to counterbalance the strength that Harry’s character brought to the stage. The audience gave them a standing ovation, and Harry hadn’t felt that alive in a long time. He also didn’t have any weird sash-tying moments with Louis again. So that was good.

Adam walked Harry home from their date late that night, the perfect gentleman that he was. He noticed Harry’s fingers were a bit red and gave him his pair of gloves to warm them up. The gloves were a soft leather, very high quality. Harry hoped Adam let him keep them for the night. When the pair had approached Harry’s apartment building, Adam gave him a warm hug. They both pulled back a little bit, before falling into a chaste goodnight kiss. The kiss was nice. Like Adam. 

Harry and Adam had a date set for next week, an art show Adam was invited to. Harry would give him back his gloves then. It was nice, to know that Adam liked him. It felt stable. 

*******************************************  
On Tuesday morning, two days after Harry’s date, the dancers came back to the NYCB after a two-day break following the October Program. It was the last week of October, which meant one thing. It was time to start Nutcracker. 

The New York City Ballet was known around the globe for its annual production of The Nutcracker. It was choreographed by George Balanchine for the company in 1954, and the choreography had stayed mostly the same ever since. It was the most popular version of Nutcracker in the ballet world, and the ballet meant a great deal to everyone in the company. The production uses about sixty kids from the School of American Ballet, so dancers like Louis and Gigi had been in the ballet since they were nine years old. It was the greatest ballet tradition Harry could think of.

Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t come to the NYCB partially for their Nutcracker. The Royal Ballet had a good Nutcracker, sure, but it wasn’t an institution like the NYCB Nutcracker was. Harry was beyond excited to get casting that day and was hoping to get cast as something like First Spanish. It was his first Nut with the City Ballet, and he didn’t want to expect much. And First Spanish wasn’t bad, it was lively and fun. 

As Harry pushed open the Lincoln Center doors, it was obvious it was Nutcracker season. The Christmas tree was being put up, dancers were chattering about which roles which dancers would get, and there was a sense of joy and nostalgia in the air. For some dancers, this was their fifteenth Nutcracker, and it held a special place in their hearts. Harry took a breath of the lobby air, wondering if he caught the excitement by breathing it in. He might have.

When Harry walked into the studio, empty save for El, Louis, and Gigi, El waved him over. Harry pointed at himself, surprised to say the least. Usually, stretching before morning class was their thing as a trio. But if Harry was invited, he wasn’t going to turn it down. He tried to make his way over as casually as he could after Eleanor nodded at him.  
“Morning!” Harry greeted the group, hoping he didn’t look too awkward. He’s been here for a month, but everyone besides El and Niall still make him a bit nervous.

“Hey H.” Eleanor said, smiling at him. Louis gave him a little wave from where he was stretching his hips on the floor, and Gigi grunted from her pile of sweaters she seemed to be in every morning. “So, I’m very curious to hear how this date went. Adam wouldn’t spill too much.” El waggled her eyebrows at him. Guess Adam wasn’t one to kiss and tell. His gentlemanly image was more than a façade then. Good to know.

“It was good, actually.” Harry said. “We went out for sushi, walked around Central Park, nice and chill date. And I really like Adam. Very polite, interesting. Doesn’t hurt that he’s incredibly attractive.” Harry laughed with Eleanor, while Louis looked a bit confused.

“Wait. You went on a date with Adam? Like the Adam I know?” Louis asked, looking at Harry with narrowed eyes. 

“Yeah, El set us up.” Harry replied, sending a wink Eleanor’s way. 

“I didn’t know Adam and El were that close.” Louis said, still with a bit of a weird expression, but he seemed to believe what Harry told him.

“Just because you and Adam aren’t friends anymore, doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with him, Lou.” Eleanor said, rolling her eyes a bit. And wait, Eleanor had mentioned before that Louis and Adam were friends that grew apart. Now it sounded like there was some sort of fight.

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.” Louis replied, clearing his throat and switching stretching positions to go into his splits. “So, tell me more.” Eleanor said, clearly not satisfied with the tidbit she received earlier. 

“It was good!” Harry laughed. “I mean I don’t know what else you want me to say. We talked, laughed, the whole date thing. And I’m not going to describe our goodnight kiss in excruciating detail before you ask.” 

“So you did kiss!” Eleanor exclaimed pointing at him. “That’s really all I wanted to know. Unless you two fucked or something.” Gigi peeked out her head from her nest.  
“Harry fucked someone?” Gigi asked, clearly a bit behind. She always seemed to be in the morning.

“No!” Harry responded, a bit too forcefully. “No, I just kissed a guy El is friends with.” He said, a bit more gently. 

“Adam! Yeah, El was telling me about that. I’ve met him once or twice. He’s pretty hot actually.” Gigi said, slowly moving out of her shell for the morning. Turns out all she needed was some good gossip. Harry looked over at Louis, who appeared as if he were about to say something, but before he could Cowell came in clapping his hands. Class time.

Class went by slowly that day, most dancers anxious to hear casting later in the day. Harry kept zoning out on accident during class, so he doesn’t remember bits of it. By the time he got to lunch though, he was ready to hear casting and go home. 

Lunch passed in a blur, Harry sitting with Louis, Niall, and El. The four munched on salads and discussed roles they were hoping for in Nut. Louis wanted anything but First Spanish, which he had apparently done for three years in a row. El wanted lead Marzipan or Arabian, and Niall wanted Candy Cane. Niall doubted he’d get it though, since he had attempted it in rehearsals about a year back and almost broke his nose. 

When the dancers walked into the studio for the second time that day, it was filled with an exciting buzz in the air. Harry sat on the studio floor with a small group in the middle of the studio including Gigi, El, Louis, Niall, and Liam. Harry bit nis nails in anticipation (his worst habit, as his mom says) as he waited for Cowell to come in, listening to the chatter of the dancers around him. Sometimes it was easier for Harry to listen to other’s thoughts than have to deal with his own. 

Cowell eventually came, though he was three minutes late (the dancers were about to send a search party), holding a clipboard. Winston followed behind him like a puppy dog. The company quieted as soon as the pair came in the room, the only sound being Cowell’s footsteps and the bated breath of the dancers. 

“Our heavily anticipated Nutcracker season has come upon us. I hope you all give this tradition the respect it deserves. That being said, let’s move onto casting.” The company sucked in a collective breath. Cowell listed off the grandparents and parents’ roles, which were given to the apprentices and corps de ballet. “Drosselmeyer will be played by Horan.” Niall fist bumped with Liam. It wasn’t Candy Cane, but at least he got to do a great deal of acting in this. “First Spanish will be Calder and Payne in Cast A, Jenner and Mendes Cast B.” El and Liam smiled at each other, doing some sort of secret hand signal. They’re weird like that.

“Next, we have Chinese Tea, who will be Tomlinson, Hadid, and Calder in Cast A. Azoff, Wilde, and Edwards Cast B.” Louis smiled, giving Gigi a side hug from where he was sitting next to her. Not the best role, but he knew he would enjoy it. “Candy Cane. Tomlinson Cast A, Mendes Cast B.” Harry looked over at Louis, who earlier had a bit of a fake smile, was now shining like the sun. It was a good look on him. 

“My lead Marzipan will be Wilde Cast A, Calder Cast B.” Simon continued, not looking up from his paper. Liam watched as Eleanor’s face lit up. “Mother Ginger! Always a fun one. Cast A Higgins. Cast B Payne.” Harry looked over at Liam as his eyes practically popped out of his head. Mother Ginger was usually done in drag, which would be a treat to watch Liam do. He always needed to relax, so this might do the trick. “Dewdrop! Jenner Cast A, Hadid Cast B.” Gigi almost jumped up on the spot, the only thing stopping her was Louis putting his hand on her shoulder. She’d wanted to be Dewdrop Fairy since she was nine years old.

“Last but not least, our Sugarplums and Cavaliers. Cast A is Oscar and Thomas. Cast B is Edwards and Styles.” Harry’s jaw dropped open. He was the male lead of the ballet? After being here for a month? He couldn’t believe Simon was trusting him with such a huge role in the biggest moneymaker of the year. “Rehearsals start in an hour, go rest.” And with that, Cowell left the room. 

As all his friends gave Harry high fives, he begun to feel the pressure along with the joy. This was such a huge role, and he never even got close to performing it at the Royal. Cowell was taking a chance with this, and Harry really couldn’t let him down. He would just have to work really damn hard.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Please leave a comment if you have time, they mean the world to me :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

Louis  
Louis loved Halloween. It was his favorite holiday, behind Christmas. And his love of Halloween didn’t stem from some metaphor about getting to pretend he wasn’t himself for one night. No. Louis just loved dressing up and getting drunk. 

He put a lot of work into his Halloween costume this year, too. Okay, the costume itself was pretty simple, but it was all about the character. And he was very excited to show it off. So, Louis started getting ready for the party the girls were holding upstairs about two hours early, before Niall even got home. Louis got his hair to sweep across his forehead in a feathery fringe and added some glitter to really amp up the look. Louis also curled his eyelashes, not afraid to enhance his best traits once in a while. He’s been told his eyelashes are among the seven wonders of the world while giving a blowjob once. 

When Louis was satisfied with his appearance (which took longer than he would like to admit), he moved on to his costume. He pulled on the tights, discovering they were a bit tighter than he intended to be. Whatever, Louis intended to look good tonight, and a bit of tight clothing never hurt. Louis pulled on the rest of his costume and went out into the kitchen to wait for Niall. They still had forty minutes before they had to leave, and the blonde had gotten home about five minutes ago. 

Louis had exhausted his Instagram feed by the time Niall emerged from his room, right on time. Louis immediately burst out laughing. Louis and Niall were doing a couple’s costume, despite not being a couple. Niall was cool like that. 

The pair made their way up the two floors separating them from the girl’s apartment after pulling on their shoes. The yellow door swung open, revealing the two girls themselves, dressed in matching mini dresses and heels. Gigi’s was pink, her blonde hair straightened and reaching her waist, while Eleanor’s was purple and her hair was in gentle waves. As soon as they saw Louis and Niall, they almost fell over laughing.

“No way! You two seriously came as Peter Pan and Tink!” Gigi said through her laughter, and Louis was worried she’d actually faint from a lack of airflow.

“Hell yeah we did.” Niall responded, wearing his green minidress proudly. He was covered in gold spray-on body glitter, and he was wearing green Vans with little white puffballs on the tops. The wings on his back kept poking Louis in the eye. “What even are you two?” Niall asked.

“Barbie and Raquelle.” Gigi and El said in unison while they slapped on signs with their character names on the front of their dresses. And it made sense to Louis now. Before the signs he just assumed they were club-goers. “Well come in,” El said. “The party just started.”

And that it had. There were about fifty people in the apartment, almost all NYCB dancers. A few costume designers Gigi knew and Ed, their accompanist, were there as well. Louis and Niall followed the girls into the living room, where Liam and Zayn were sitting on the big plush couch, chatting amicably. Liam was dressed as a rapper (?) wearing a tank top and a gold chain. Zayn was a biker, like he was every year, dressed in jeans, a white shirt, and a leather jacket that actually looked good on him. Louis plopped down on the checkered chair in the corner.

“Louis!” Liam shouted, clearly already a bit tipsy. Thankfully, El had given Louis some punch she made a few minutes ago, so Louis was well on his way to drunk himself. “Sick costume, man.”

“Thanks,” Louis replied, smiling at him. “Are you a rapper? Or something?” Louis asked, and Liam was too tipsy to take any offence, thank God.

“I’m just swag.” Liam said, deadpanning at Louis. And okay, then Liam was swag. Good enough.

“Zayn, glad to see the biker costume out again.” Louis said, turning slightly to face the other boy. 

“Hell yeah, it has.” Zayn responded, winking at him. Zayn had been wearing this biker costume since they were sixteen and dressed up for ballet class at SAB. It’s an important tradition to Zayn. Zayn was also very lazy.

“Lou, someone’s knocking! Can you answer it?” Gigi shouted from the kitchen, swamped with guests wanting vodka that she was serving rapidly. Louis yelled back an affirmative and went to go get the door. He opened it, and oh shit fucking god dammit fuck shit.

“Hi!” Harry greeted him. And Louis had to remember how to speak because holy shit. 

“Hey, Harry!” Louis said, sounding a bit strained. And he should be. Harry stood in front of him, wearing flared high-waisted corduroy pants, paired with a white (almost transparent) blouse that was almost completely unbuttoned, save for about two buttons. Louis could see the outline of some tattoos through the fabric. Harry’s hair was down to his shoulders, a few stray curls framing his face. “Who- Who are you dressed as?” Louis asked, honestly afraid of the answer.

“Mick Jagger!” Harry drawled out excitedly, his syrupy voice washing over Louis. “And you’re Peter Pan right?” Harry asked, and holy shit Louis needed to stop looking at his pretty face. He remembered he was wearing tights that were slightly too small, and he could not hide anything.

“Yeah! Yeah,” Louis replied. “Follow me.” Louis quickly turned away from Harry after motioning for him to follow him. The two walked into the living room, where the whole group of soloists (and Zayn) were seated. 

“Harry, you look amazing!! Are you Mick Jagger or something?” Gigi asked when they came into the room.

“Yeah!” Harry said, smiling shyly. He looked like a rock star, but of course he had to keep his sweet demeanor. This is a recipe for disaster.

“Sick.” Zayn piped up from his seat, giving Harry an appreciative nod. Zayn was clearly warming up to Harry, and honestly would’ve ignored him if he didn’t like him at least a little. The rest of the group in the living room shared their praises of Harry’s outfit while Louis took a swig from his drink and sandwiched himself between Zayn and Liam on the couch. The further the distance from Harry the better.

************************************  
Three hours later, it was one in the morning and everyone in sight was smashed. Like, really smashed. And they didn’t have the day off at NYCB off tomorrow, so Louis was sending himself some prayers even in his state. Louis was struggling at the moment. Not just because he was sitting directly across from Harry. Oh no, Louis was sitting directly across from a sweaty, tousled Harry. Harry, who’s curls were now wilder, his cheeks carrying a slight pink blush, and he looked a hell of a lot like something out of Louis’ fantasies. This was not good. 

“Who wants to play Never Have I Ever?” Niall shouted from his seat. His dress was definitely on the verge of a nip slip. Niall did not notice, nor did Niall care.

“Yes!” El and Liam yelled back, slightly slurred. Everyone else replied with shouts, including Louis. Never Have I Ever reminded him of their time at SAB, when they used to get together on Saturday nights and play with grape juice. 

Everyone sat down on the floor in a circle, eager to start. Eleanor was the first to speak.

“Okay. Never have I ever had sex somewhere in Lincoln Center.” El said, raising an eyebrow. Liam, Louis, and Niall all drank, much to everyone else’s disgust. 

“What?” Niall said. “It’s a quick, easy meetup if you’re fucking another dancer.” Louis laughed, remembering the time he’d fucked another corps de ballet member in the janitor’s closet his second year in the company. It didn’t end well. The janitor came back earlier than they planned.

“Um…” Liam started. “Never have I ever fooled around in the club bathroom.” Everyone but Liam drank. He was horrible at these games.

“Lima, that was the best you could come up with?” Louis said, laughing at Liam’s innocence as usual.

“Fine. Gigi, you go.” Liam said, raising his eyebrows at Gigi.

“Never have I ever,” Gigi said with a smug smile, “kissed someone in this circle.” Louis’ eyes snapped over to Harry who was already looking back at him. He was too caught up in the other boy’s startled green eyes that he almost didn’t notice Liam and Zayn drinking, and while everyone stared at those two, Louis and Harry quickly took a swig from their drinks. 

“We were drunk.” Zayn said, shrugging at Liam. Everyone nodded, seeming appeased with that answer. Louis turned to look at Gigi, but she was already looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

**************************************  
The party ended around two, Louis and Niall shouting out their goodbyes when they eventually departed, leaving all the cleaning to the girls. Louis fell into bed, not bothering to change out of his costume. He could get a good six hours of sleep in before he had to be up for work tomorrow. Fuck.  
***********************************  
When Louis heard his alarm blaring that morning, the last thing he wanted to wake up to was a raging case of morning wood brought on by a dream about licking sweat from Harry’s collarbones. It was unfortunate. Well, the dream wasn’t. But the aftermath was. 

Whatever. Louis had to get to work. He sat up, almost immediately hit with the urge to puke. After running to the bathroom, emptying his stomach (which got rid of the morning wood situation quite effectively) and taking a quick shower, Louis checked his phone. Their group chat consisting of Niall, Zayn, El, Gigi, Liam, Louis, and now Harry was filled with texts about how everyone was calling in sick that day. Except Harry, who had Cavalier rehearsals he couldn’t miss, so he was going despite throwing up every half hour, he says. 

Louis called in sick too, seeing no reason to go if he was feeling shitty and his friends weren’t going, and opened a text from Gigi.

‘We’re talking about that fact that you totally kissed Harry. I saw you two last night!!!’

Well shit. He really didn’t want to talk about that. Gigi would definitely ask if he had feelings for Harry, which he didn’t. If he did, the fact that Harry and Adam were getting along splendidly would make Louis much angrier than he was. Sure, he wasn’t happy about it, but that didn’t mean he was jealous. He had many reasons for ending his friendship with Adam, and he just didn’t want Adam to be back in his life in any way. So hopefully the pair broke it off soon.

Louis took some Advil he kept in his nightstand since Niall kept forgetting to buy it and fell back into bed. He didn’t have feelings for Harry. He didn’t know him well enough. All he knew of Harry was what he’d heard from other people, and in group conversations. Louis and Harry hadn’t had a real conversation since the one where they called the truce outside of Lincoln Center. Sure, he thought Harry was attractive, but he didn’t have any real affections toward him. 

He might have to start making an effort to be friends with Harry, though. He was clearly loved by Louis’ friends (he was in the group chat for Christ sake), and Louis didn’t want to have a friend in the group he was distant with. Everyone in Louis’ group of friends he loved, and they all meant a lot to him. He would trust any of them with his life. And Louis wanted Harry to be one of those people.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Please, if you have time, leave a comment. It means a lot to me :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned.

Harry

Harry brushed a stray curl off his forehead, a steady reminder he needed to get his hair cut soon. It had been about six months since he last cut it, and the curls were getting a bit unruly. Probably more than a bit. He rested his head in his hands while he stretched, content to just sit and watch rehearsals from the side of the studio. The Marzipan music echoed in the high-ceilinged room, the familiar sound of the flutes filling Harry’s head as he watched Eleanor and some of the corps dancer’s movements. This dance was quite sharp, showing off the Balanchine technique very well. The lead Marzipan dancer, who was Eleanor in this rehearsal, was commonly regarded as the most difficult Nutcracker role. And that could be easily backed up by the fast footwork, challenging jumps, and near impossible hops en pointe. Eleanor made it all look easy, which Harry remembered was one of the first things he noticed about her during class on his first day.

The Nutcracker had been in rehearsal for about a week. After the awful day following Halloween (Harry never wants to come to work that sick ever again), the rest of the dancers showed up looking like they had made a full recovery from their night. Learning the choreography didn’t take long, since the current dancers had been studying the steps for years, whether it was backstage as extras, or from the videos Niall told Harry they watched in the School of American Ballet dorm rooms. It took Harry a bit longer to catch up, since he had just started dancing this version of Nutcracker. He had been studying his parts from the company tapes down in the basement Zayn helped him find. Harry watched them while he ran on the treadmill before class, which turned out to be quite an effective distraction from the burn in his legs and lungs.

The Marzipan dancers switched casts, Olivia taking Eleanor’s place as lead Marzipan so she could take a well-deserved break. El had sweat stains showing through her pink leotard and her bangs were sticking to her forehead as she caught her breath. Her chest was heaving while she walked her way over to Harry on the side of the studio.   
“How was it?” El asked him, her nerves showing through the slight wobble of her voice. She had confessed to Harry a couple days prior that while this was her dream role, the idea of screwing it up was keeping her up at night. The two had gone to pliates almost every day this week to relieve some stress. “It felt off timing.” She said. 

“No, you idiot. I honestly couldn’t find any issues with it.” Harry replied fondly. Yes, he saw issues but it was with the other dancers, not Eleanor. Their formations behind her looked less like a line and more like a cooked spaghetti noodle.

“Really?” Eleanor asked. “Well, we’re still going to pliates tonight right?” Harry nodded in response, giving her a thumbs up. She gave him one back before walking out of the studio, leaving Harry alone to watch Olivia’s cast run their version of Marzipan. It was good, but Harry preferred Eleanor’s. She fit the soft shepherdess character more than Olivia, who Harry thought was better suited for more badass roles like Arabian. She was doing well, though.

Harry heard the door squeak open, but he didn’t turn his head to look at who was entering, instead continuing to watch the critiques Cowell was giving the girls. He was talking about getting the girls more on-count when Harry felt someone sit down next to him. Expecting Eleanor to have returned from wherever she went off to, he was pretty surprised to find Louis next to him, to say the least.

“Hey, Harry.” Louis greeted him with a smile, beginning to roll out his feet with a tennis ball. “How are you?” 

“I’m good, thanks for asking.” Harry said, with no doubt a confused expression on his face. Harry and Louis weren’t exactly friends, and they had never just had a conversation like this.

“Good, good.” Louis replied, nodding his head. He was wearing a green tank top with grey tights, and a pair of black athletic shorts on his legs. The emerald green of his top was clashing beautifully with his eyes, the clear blue of them looking a bit darker in the shadowy studio. His delicate hands wrapped around the tennis ball he was using, reminding Harry just how small Louis’ hands were. “You know, I’m glad I’m unable to be in Marzipan.” Louis said, breaking Harry out of his trance, chuckling to himself.

“God, I can’t even imagine doing the snow dance. Seven minutes? Hell no.” Harry responded trying to muffle his laugh in case Cowell heard. Louis giggled quietly. 

“Fuck, I would die. My candy cane dance is like a minute and a half and I feel like going into cardiac arrest every time I finish.” Louis shakes his head. 

“I mean,” Harry said, “you are jumping through a literal hoop. It’s not your typical dancing, no matter how hard it usually is.” 

“Good point.” Louis replied, nodding to himself. The two sat in silence for a while watching rehearsal before Louis had to start his Candy Cane rehearsals. Harry decided he should probably get up, since he’s been watching rehearsals for about two and a half hours, and he needs to get down to pliates with El. The two boys part with a smile and a wave, leaving Harry with a light, airy feeling in his stomach.

*********************************  
Harry had a date with Adam set up for that night, and he was actually pretty excited about it. This was their third date, and this time they were going to take a cooking class in Brooklyn. The whole thing felt very domestic, and Harry didn’t mind at all. Harry had been a romantic his entire life, dreaming of finding the perfect wife to start a family with as a child. Of course, at age fourteen that particular fantasy changed when he realized he was gay, but the idea of settling down and starting a family still got him excited. Even at age twenty-four, Harry knew whenever he found his soulmate, he was ready to get married and have about eight kids. Like immediately.

The bell in Harry’s apartment rung at seven sharp, Harry jumping at the sound. His new bell sounded… like a bat giving birth. That was the most accurate way to describe it. Harry hated almost everything about his new apartment, to be quite honest. The doors were super squeaky, it was always freezing, and his bathroom was obviously haunted. Maybe Adam knew a local ghosthunter he could use. 

Harry slid on his shoes, a pair of white worn out Vans, and opened the door to a smiling Adam. Adam’s blonde hair was slightly in his face, his brown eyes looking down at Harry. He was wearing a brown sweater (that looked incredibly soft), grey pants and some maroon sneakers. He looked sharp, and Harry smiled back at him warmly. After greeting each other, the two hugged, Harry burying his face in the crook of Adam’s neck. Adam smelled like vanilla.

“You look amazing, H.” Adam said, looking Harry up and down. Harry looked down at his outfit while a pink blush spread across his cheeks. Harry was wearing a lilac sweater and black skinny jeans, his hair pulled back into a bun for when they started cooking.

“You too, Adam.” Harry replied, taking the arm Adam offered as they headed out of the building. It was warm for a November night, so the men didn’t need any jackets to fight off the chill. Adam and Harry held hands in the taxi to the cooking place, the only sound in the car being the radio and their gentle chatter. They talked about their days, how their families were. It was all very normal. Nice.

When they arrived at the cooking lesson, Adam opened the door for Harry and helped him out of the vehicle. Adam never failed to impress Harry with his gentlemanly ways. It was like Harry’s mother hand crafted a man, and he fell right at Harry’s feet. 

The actual building where the cooking lesson was held was beautiful, sleek marble countertops surrounding them, along with stainless steel appliances and an industrial chic lighting fixture on the vaulted ceiling. It was exactly how Harry wanted his future kitchen to look. Adam and Harry found a counter to stand at near the middle of the room, surrounded by other young couples, and made some conversation with them. The couple directly next to them, Miranda and Steven, had just gotten married and found out that neither of them could cook. They were both getting tired of takeout and decided to come to a cooking class. They were shocked when they heard this was Adam and Harry’s third date.

“Seriously? Most people come to cooking lessons after years of being together.” Miranda said, looking to Steven for backup. Steven nodded, snaking a hand around Miranda’s waist. 

“Well, I feel like I’ve known this one for years, so.” Adam said, looking at Harry fondly and putting an arm around his shoulders. Harry wasn’t sure he felt the same way, as there was so much he didn’t know about Adam, but the words were sweet.

“I’m glad you two are happy then.” Steven smiled at them. The chef came through the barn doors then, and he looked a lot like a Gordon Ramsey lookalike. He seemed much nicer to adults, though. 

“Hello everyone! I’m glad to see so many young faces ready to learn the wonderful art of cooking!” The chef exclaimed as he scanned the room. He reminded Harry of Cowell. “Tonight, we will be making a steak filet, with sauteed green beans and homemade cornbread. Let’s get started, shall we?” 

As the class went through the directions, Harry began to relax. The thing was, Harry was a great chef. He could cook meals much more difficult than this, and Adam looked like he could too. They both went through the recipe quickly, Harry cooking the steak while Adam cooked the green beans and cornbread. The chef came by their table a few times, giving them approving nods. Harry began to wonder why Adam brought him here. It was fun, of course it was, but clearly, they were both great cooks.

“Adam, this recipe seems super easy for you!” Harry laughed, attempting to get an answer out of the other man. Adam looked up from where he was stirring his cornbread batter.

“Oh, I thought you might like some lessons. Cooking is always a great skill!” Adam said, and Harry was more confused than ever. Yes, cooking was a great skill, but he still didn’t understand why Adam brought him here on their third date. Harry didn’t feel like prying, though, so he just prodded the steak he was cooking with his fork and took another sip of wine.  
*******************************************************  
Harry and Adam got out of their taxi, holding hands as they walked up to Harry’s apartment. They reached the door quickly, with Harry living on the second floor.  
“Goodnight, H.” Adam said, pulling Harry into a hug. After a few moments, Adam pulled back slightly, trailing his hands down Harry’s arms as he went. Adam held onto Harry’s hands, pulling him into a kiss. When their lips met it was sweet, comfortable. Normal. 

“Night, Adam.” Harry whispered as he pulled away, opening his door and going inside. He leaned against the door as soon as he locked it. Was Adam expecting more tonight? They hadn’t had sex yet, mostly because Harry just didn’t feel ready to cross that bridge with him. It wasn’t like Harry was waiting for marriage or anything, but he felt like they just shouldn’t have sex yet. Something held Harry back, and he didn’t know what. 

Yes, Harry’s parents are divorced, but he’s not one of those people that became pessimistic in ways of love because of it. By all accounts, he should be trying to tie down Adam as fast as possible. So why did Harry feel like there was something he was missing?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Please leave a comment if you have time, they mean a lot :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about any one or anything mentioned in the work.

Louis  
Louis would say his attempts at forming a friendship with Harry were going well. They watched rehearsal together all week, usually in silence, but sometimes one of them would make a comment the other would giggle at. Then they would separate when one of them had to rehearse, and they did it all again the next day. Sometimes, Harry would come sit with Louis, Eleanor, and Gigi in the mornings, but that seemed to make him nervous. When he was there in the mornings, Eleanor asked Harry about Adam. Adam, who apparently took Harry on about four dates now, and whom Harry was very happy with. According to Harry, they hadn’t solidified any “boyfriend” title yet. Louis tried not to look to pleased with that.

From Louis’ experiences with him, Adam was not a great person. He was a good friend, but Louis saw how Adam was with his last boyfriend, and it always felt a bit sketchy. It wasn’t Louis’ place, obviously, but he was a bit worried about Harry.

The last week being friends (sort of) with Harry had been great. Harry didn’t hold any sort of grudge against Louis for their past, and turns out, Harry was a riot. He made little comments under his breath sometimes, that Louis wasn’t meant to hear, that honestly made Louis double over with laugher. Like the time Harry watched Shawn do the Spanish dance and said ‘I feel like I’m watching white rice attempt to camouflage itself in a Spanish restaurant.’ To be honest, the comment wasn’t even that funny, but the idea of kind, gentle Harry having a snarky side to take out on Shawn was funny enough.

Louis was chuckling to himself, remembering the memory when Gigi found him. Not surprising, considering he was on her couch. He came in about an hour ago, expecting one of the girls to find him sooner. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Gigi asked, before plopping down next to him. “I didn’t even think I left the door unlocked.”

“Oh, you didn’t.” Louis answered easily, Gigi freezing where she was opening a carton of mango sorbet. She turned to look at him. 

“You didn’t come in through the fire escape.” Gigi said. Followed by silence on Louis’ end. “Right?” Gigi looked a bit scared.

“No, I got a copy of you guy’s key like two years ago. I use it all the time, you two just usually assume the other let me in.” Louis looked completely serious. And he was. The key was originally made for emergencies, but after the first emergency (Niall and Louis ran out of brownie batter ice cream) Louis just kept using the key. He came in on his own about once a week. 

“Louis William Tomlinson. You are a psychopath.” Gigi deadpanned at him. Louis gave her a sweet smile, which she rolled her eyes at and promptly ignored him, preferring the company of her new Vogue issue. And that wouldn’t do. Louis was remarkably interesting, much more interesting than a fashion magazine.

“So, where’s El?” Louis asked, fully intending to go find her in the kitchen or something. She always humored his bullshit. “I haven’t seen her since our Chinese rehearsal today.”

` “She’s doing something with Liam. I think she mentioned hunting or something?” Gigi told him, absentmindedly. 

“El and Liam are going hunting? In New York City?” Louis questioned. This was incredibly confusing. “Wait, isn’t Liam a vegetarian?” 

“I think.” Gigi flipped a page. Well, Louis wasn’t getting any answers from her, so he would just have to wait until El got home. Which could be hours from now. And Louis was bored. Luckily for him, Gigi had a weakness. 

“Hey Gi? Wanna watch old performance videos?” Louis asked. Gigi perked up immediately. She nodded and put her Vogue issue on the coffee table in front of her. Checkmate, Vogue.   
****************************  
It was Friday, and Louis and Harry were watching the Waltz of the Flowers rehearsal. It seemed to be going well, Gigi playing the role of the Dewdrop Fairy with energy, and the flowers behind her were very in sync. Simon seemed to agree if his smile at the front of the room was any indication. 

Louis rolled his tennis ball over to Harry, and Harry gave Louis his TheraBand. They developed a routine a couple days ago, so that they could strengthen and stretch their feet together. Once one of them was done with their foot exercises with the resistance band, or rolling out muscles, they would pass the device over to the other person. It worked quite seamlessly since they finished their tasks at the same time.

Harry and Louis were quietly discussing their favorite ballets when Eleanor popped her head into the studio. Her pointe shoes make little clunk sounds as she sped across the studio floor, trying not to disturb rehearsal.

“You two. Follow me.” El said when she reached Harry and Louis, gesturing over her shoulder. The two boys gave each other bewildered looks, before shrugging and following El out of the studio doors. El didn’t stop once they reached the dressing rooms, or when they reached the lobby. No, she had them leave Lincoln Center all together after making them all put on jackets and shoes. She still didn’t tell them where they were going, but Louis got it after crossing the street.

“El?” Louis asked. “Why are you taking us to SAB?” Louis turned to look at Harry, who looked a bit alarmed.

“They asked me to bring you here.” El responded, probably playing up the mystery aspect of this situation more than she needed to. She liked to be a bit dramatic.

“Who’s they?” Harry said from beside Louis. Eleanor ignored him, and Harry looked to Louis for an answer, who could only shrug. Hell, if he knew. The big glass doors to SAB were opened, and El lead the boys up to the main offices on the third floor. The SAB building was made of fancy granite and nice, modern décor in the halls. Harry was looking into a studio as they passed, the Advanced Boys working on jumps inside. Soon enough, they reached the main offices, and El knocked. After being invited in by a voice familiar to Louis, they boys went in to their mystery destination. It turned out to be a white office, where Louis’ old teacher, Mrs. Oliver, sat behind a desk. Louis looked behind him to see Eleanor had disappeared, and Harry was standing nervously behind him. 

“Hello, boys. Please sit down.” Mrs. Oliver said, her voice still grating to Louis’ ears even after all this time. Louis tried to smile at her while sitting in one of the plush orange chairs opposite her. He gestured with his head for Harry to sit down as well. Once he did, Mrs. Oliver finally got into why they were there.

“So, as you know we hold an annual Nutcracker Tea Party for the children at the school.” Louis nodded, knowing the event very well. Him and his friends used to get dressed up to go eat sweets they weren’t supposed to eat with school alumni. They were some of his fondest memories. “And the company members are supposed to make some of the treats for the kids.” Yes, Louis knew that all too well. He used to make them back in his corps de ballet days, back when he was new to the company. “We need you two to make come cupcakes this year.” 

“Wait, why us?” Louis asked. “I thought the corps dancers usually made them.”

“Well, yes they do. But since Mr. Styles is new to the company, Cowell thought making something for the party would be a good introduction for him to the kids. And Mr. Tomlinson, we thought you might enjoy surprising your sister with something.” And that’s true. Louis loved surprising his sisters. 

“Mrs. Oliver, as much as I’d like to surprise my sister, I literally cannot cook. Like at all.” Louis said, giving his old teacher a desperate look she’d seen one too many times over the years. 

“I’m sure Mr. Styles can cook. Can you cook?” The woman asked Harry, who was having a bit of a deer in the headlights moment.

“I can.” Harry said, nodding. Goddamit Harry. Of course he can cook, it’s just another good trait to add to the ever-growing list.

“Wonderful!” Mrs. Oliver exclaimed. “Oh, and Cowell recommended you two to teach class next Saturday.”

“Us?” Louis questioned, gesturing between the two men. Louis had taught masterclasses at SAB before, but he usually taught with El or Niall. He also didn’t know if Harry had ever taught before. 

“Yes! Director Cowell thought you two would make a good team. So, next Saturday.” Mrs. Oliver said with that smile she did that made you feel trapped. Good thing Louis didn’t have any plans he needed to cancel next Saturday. The boys nodded. 

As they got up to leave, Mrs. Oliver got up as well to hug Louis. “Cowell told me he could tell you two himself, but I wanted to see my favorite student again!” Louis forced out a chuckle in response. 

“We’ll be on our way. See you next week!” Louis called out after getting away from Oliver. Louis grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him out of the office. They walked down the hallways in silence until they passed a classroom full of teenage boys, who couldn’t be older than fifteen. Until Harry broke said silence.

“So, this is gonna sound crazy, but my apartment is haunted?” Harry said, and if he didn’t have Louis’ attention before he sure as hell did now. 

“Your apartment is…haunted.” Louis said, raising his eyebrows at Harry. If Harry turns out to be crazy, just forget that Louis sometimes thinks about what their kids would look like.

“Yes. Well I think.”

“I feel like you’d know if your apartment was haunted Harry.”

“Whatever, that’s not where I wanted this to go.” Harry blushed. “What I meant was I really hate my apartment, so if we could cook at yours, that would be great.” Harry got all his words out in one breath, and Louis felt like humoring him. He didn’t really feel like going to a possibly haunted apartment anyway.

“That would be great if Ni and I had any cooking supplies.” Louis said, remembering the lack of kitchenware in his home. “I actually don’t think we have any mixing bowls.” Harry looked disappointed, and a bit impressed at Louis’ skills of being horrible at being an adult.

“We could use the girl’s kitchen?” Harry said, seeming already comfortable with the idea of barging in on them. 

“They’re going on some trip to Aspen next weekend. Girl’s trip.” Louis remembered, which meant they kind of only had one option left. “We could cook at my mom’s?” 

“Your mom lives in town?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. My whole family does actually.” Louis answered. 

“I mean, if she’s cool with us raiding her house then I’m good to go.” Harry said, clearly a bit nervous at cooking in (ruining) Louis mom’s kitchen. Well, Louis will clean up, since he doubts he will be doing any of the cooking.

**************************************************  
Louis opened the door to his family’s apartment the next day, not expecting the herd of blonde heads to attack him like they did. He should’ve expected this. It happens every time. 

“Girls! Hey!” Louis shouts, trying to hug all of them back. Lottie, the oldest ruffled his hair. Dammit. He worked hard on it today.

“Hey, loser.” Lottie said, a fond smile on her face. She was graduating soon, which was hard for Louis to handle, but he tried. “Fizz is out, before you ask.” Before he could reply, the twins caught his attention.

“You didn’t tell us you where coming.” Phoebe pouted at him. He planned this as a surprise for them, since he didn’t come around nearly as often as he should.

“I’m here to do some baking, actually.” Louis said, now faced with three pairs of disbelieving blue eyes. “I am! My friend Harry is coming and we’re making cupcakes for the SAB Tea Party.” 

“Harry? You’ve never mentioned him.” Lottie says, raising an eyebrow. She looked a hell of a lot like him when she did that. 

“He just moved here. Joined the company this season.” Louis said, saved by his mother coming into the room.

“Hey, boo! So when is Harry coming?” Jay asked while hugging him. 

“Any minute now actually.” Louis replied, praying for his family to vacate the room by the time Harry got there. He loved them, but they could be a bit loud. Of course, his prayers weren’t answered as the doorbell went off right then. Louis turned around and opened the door, since he got about two steps into the house. 

“Hi!” Harry said, and really Louis should stop opening the door. Harry had on a soft white sweater, black skinny jeans that highlighted his lean, long legs, and his hair was in a bun, with little curled tendrils framing his face. Louis really wanted to hug him. Or make out with him until their lips went numb. Either or.

“Hey, H.” Louis smiled, and he saw Harry look over his shoulder at the pack of people inside. “That’s my family. If you’re seeing a herd of women in there.”

“I was wondering.” Harry gave a little wave directed behind Louis. Louis stepped back so he could come in, and his mom was on Harry in about two seconds flat. 

“Hi! You must be Louis’ friend Harry.” She said. Louis was getting teenage flashbacks. 

“I am! And you must be Mrs. Deakin.” Harry smiled. 

“Oh, call me Jay honey! So you’re here to bake?” Jay said, clearly excited she was getting to meet one of her son’s friends. Because Louis lived in dorms by the time he was fourteen, she didn’t meet many of them. 

“We are.” Louis butted in. “So, we should probably start doing that.” Louis steered Harry into the kitchen, leaving the girls and his mom in the living room. 

“I’m betting they’re dating in two months, if they aren’t already.” Lottie said, her mom humming in agreement. They all dissipated around the apartment, Lottie returning to the couch to watch The Bachelor and his mom to go look after the younger twins.

In the kitchen, Harry was calling out supplies that the cupcake recipe called for while Louis attempted to fish them out of the white kitchen cabinets. After finally finding everything (Louis thinks there were too many ingredients) Harry looks at Louis, studying him for a moment before handing him a bowl. He gives Louis the dry ingredients.

“Now listen Louis.” Harry said. He doesn’t have to worry, Louis is definitely listening because the window is reflecting beautifully against Harry’s green eyes, and Louis doesn’t think he could look away. “I’m giving you the dry ingredients because I trust you not to fuck it up. Please do not fuck it up.” Louis nods in response to Harry’s pleas, reading the recipe and setting to work. 

Twenty minutes later, All is going well, and the two boys are discussing Louis’ family. 

“So what did the lady mean when she said you’d like to surprise your sister?” Harry asked while cracking two eggs into his bowl.

“Oh, my sister Phoebe goes to SAB. She used to love going to my dance performances, so my mom enrolled her.” Louis replied, a huge dorky smile probably on his face. But Harry’s answering smile was worth it since the dimples were out in full force. And Louis got an idea.

“Hey Harry?” Louis asked, and Harry looked up to answer him. “You got something right…there.” Louis said while smearing flour on Harry’s right cheek, right where his dimple usually goes. Harry looked at him in shock, before a smile that rivaled the actual sun cast across his face. 

“Oh, I’m gonna get you for this Tomlinson!” Harry laughed, before throwing cocoa powder in Louis’ face. Louis let out a cackle before grabbing an egg and cracking it on Harry’s chocolate curls. A food fight broke out, both of them grabbing at different ingredients blindly and flinging them at each other. They were screaming and laughing, and it was a wonder nobody had burst in to see what the hell was going on. It was then that Louis’ noticed how much he loved Harry’s laugh, loud and honking. He decided to make it his mission to hear it more often. 

Harry was in the middle of hitting Louis lightly in the stomach with a whisk when his phone rang. He gave Louis a quick time out signal to check who it was. Louis was panting while he looked at his phone, must have deemed it not that important and put it back in his pocket.

“Who- oof- was it?” Louis asked while getting tickled by Harry with a whisk. 

“It was Adam.” Harry said, still tickling Louis.

“Oh. Do you have to leave or anything?” Louis questioned. Harry looked at him with an amused expression on his face. 

“No! We’re not done with our cupcakes yet!” Harry exclaimed, sprinkling one last dusting of sugar in Louis’ hair. They both laughed while figuring they should calm down and finish, before cleaning the mess they made. The cupcakes eventually did get baked. Even though Louis was disgusting, when he ate one of the extras he made, looking at Harry attempting to get the flour out of his hair, it tasted like victory.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

Harry

Sometime over the last two months Harry has been in New York, weekly game nights become an unspoken tradition for the (not so) little friend group that took him in. It’s one of Harry’s favorite things in the world. Playing Monopoly and watching Louis yell at Niall because he took a property Louis wanted just makes Harry feel like he belongs. 

Sure, Harry still isn’t very close with some people in the group. Mostly Zayn. The only people who are close to Zayn seem to be Louis and Gigi, so Harry doesn’t take it personally. He just has to work harder. Speaking of, Harry has been working harder than he thought was even possible. Every day, Harry wakes up at five in the morning, and gets to the studio by six. Then he runs on the treadmill until seven, watching old performance videos to keep him distracted. Until eight, Harry stretches and strengthens in the weight room. Then, he gets a coffee and waits for dancers to start pouring in for class. After evening rehearsals, Harry goes to a pliates class with Eleanor. Then he goes to bed after dinner, maybe a date with Adam, and does it all again the next day. It’s exhausting, but Harry refuses to fuck up his chance to dance the Sugarplum’s Cavalier. 

Harry’s packing up his stuff to go to pliates with El when Niall finds him on Friday. He’s exhausted from rehearsal, but if he stops going to pliates his abs might get weaker. Which will ruin his balance. So, he goes.

“Harry! Wait up mate, gotta talk to you about game night tonight!” Niall calls from across the studio, speed walking attempting to get to Harry before he leaves. Harry waits, but knows he doesn’t have time for a long conversation before pliates. He’s got ten minutes to get to the basement before the class starts. “Okay so,” Niall says when he finally reaches the other side of the rehearsal studio, “Lou and I can’t host game night tonight. Neither can the girls. They have to leave early for their ski trip tomorrow, and Lou painted our living room yesterday. I swear the smell got me high, but that’s not the primary goal for tonight.”

“Can Liam host? He doesn’t have any roommates, right?” Harry says, while walking out into the hallway with Niall by his side. “Or what about Zayn?” To be honest, Harry has no clue what Zayn does outside of their interactions, so he might actually live in the costume closet. Harry wants to make a closet joke, but he doesn’t know Zayn’s sexuality, so that pun will have to be laid to rest.

“No, Liam’s apartment is being exterminated for termites, so he’s been sleeping on the girl’s couch. And Zayn just won’t let any of us in his apartment out of principle.” Niall responds, scoffing a bit.

“So that leaves me huh.” Harry says, turning the corner into the basement stairwell. Niall follows, making an affirmative noise. “Niall, I cannot stress to you how much I hate my apartment.” 

“I’m sure it will be fine!” Niall exclaims cheerily, the sound bouncing off the cement basement walls. “And I’m sure your apartment isn’t even that shitty.” Harry levels him with a look.

“My apartment isn’t shitty. I just- ugh. I can’t explain it.” Harry waves his hands, trying to communicate since his verbal skills are lacking at the moment.

“Then we’ll find out ourselves!” Niall says, leaving Harry with a quick pat on the shoulder, and seven people coming to his apartment in three hours.

**************************  
Harry had to sprint home from pliates that night, in an attempt to make it home in time to clean his apartment before game night. Luckily, his apartment just needed a quick tidying up. He, however, needed a shower, as he smelled like a high school boy’s locker room. Harry hastily cleaned himself, blow dried his hair, and threw on a pair of black skinnies and a grey crewneck sweatshirt. Then he took a breath for what felt like the first time all day. 

Harry was taking out his borderline embarrassingly large board game collection when the doorbell rang. He put his cherished, well-loved Scrabble box on the coffee table in front of his pink couch, and went to open his creaky, nightmare inducing door. On the other side stood the entire group of seven he was expecting, and they all pushed past him to come in except for Ed, who gave him a tight hug, and then pushed past him. 

“So, you guys can make yourselves at home,” Harry announced. “If you haven’t already done so.” Everyone turned to face him from where they were examining his living room and kitchen. 

“Harry, your apartment isn’t shitty at all!” Liam said, clearly expecting Harry to live in a dumpster like Oscar the Grouch or something. They didn’t get it.

“No, it’s actually pretty nice.” Louis smiled at him, lifting up the copy of The Fault in Our Stars Harry keeps around for when he wants a good cry. “Good taste in books too.” Louis mumbled. Gigi and Zayn were going through Harry’s record collection, Zayn taking a look at The Kill’s Midnight Boom album before putting it on the record player. Gigi hummed appreciatively. Niall and Ed examined Harry’s guitar, and El and Liam were testing how comfy Harry’s couch was. This felt oddly like an initiation. 

“Glad you all think so.” Harry said, a little bit of pride sneaking its way into his voice, even though he still held the firm belief his apartment was a nightmare. He grabbed drinks for everyone before the group settled in their seats, either the pink couch, white chairs, or on the patterned carpet. Some say Harry has weird taste, but Harry thinks he’s just a bit eclectic. 

After Ed’s suggestion, the group agrees to play Scrabble, the only protests coming from Niall.

“I almost failed English at SAB, and you lot won’t let me use any Irish words!” Niall yells. “It’s unfair!” Louis just puts a hand on Niall’s shoulder to push him back down onto the plush carpet. Teams were assigned, since there was eight of them and four was the max limit for Scrabble. Niall teamed up with Ed, who was the only one nice enough to take him on. Under any other circumstances, Harry would. He just gets very competitive about Scrabble. Zayn and Gigi continued their music discussion and formed a team, and since Liam and El were already sitting together they made a team. That left Harry to go over to where Louis sat on a white chair, pulling up the matching one right next to him. 

“So, Louis.” Harry said, Louis turning to face him. His hair was swept across his forehead in a feathery fringe tonight, his blue eyes gentle and bright. “How seriously do you take Scrabble?” Harry questioned, raising an eyebrow. He needed to know how much weight on this team he needed to pull.

“Life or death serious.” Louis responds, looking Harry straight in the eye. “You’ve met my family. Imagine all that energy channeled into Scrabble.” The people not engrossed in conversation looked over at them, confused as to when Harry ever met Louis’ family, and why. Louis and Harry were too busy looking at each other to notice. 

“Good. I can finally play with someone who understands the stakes of the great game of Scrabble.” Harry says, trying not to smile. Joking around with Louis is one of Harry’s favorite things. It just comes so easily, no need to try like everything else in Harry’s life. 

“Glad we’re in agreement, Styles.” Louis winks at him, and they both turn to their opponents with smirks on their faces. Their opponents look a little scared, and a lot confused. Good. 

“Let’s get this show on the road!” Ed shouts, and tiles are passed out, teams share whispers of words, and there’s a lot of laughing. Mostly directed at Niall. 

Many bottles of wine later, Niall is arguing that ‘banjaxed’ is a word, and Ed is trying to back him up without knowing what the word means. Louis and Harry are ahead by thirty points, followed by El and Liam. Gigi and Zayn are behind them, and Ed and Niall are last. Unsurprisingly.

“Banjaxed isn’t a word! We’re not playing in Ireland!” Harry yells, jumping out of his seat. Niall jumped up as well, about to get in Harry’s face. Everyone else watched in amusement, except for Ed who was attempting to pull Niall back down. 

“I’m Irish!” Niall boomed. “I bring Ireland everywhere I go!” Ed yanked Niall down one more time, and down he went. Niall was a bit past tipsy. 

“Okay!” Liam exclaimed from his seat next to Eleanor on the couch, making everyone jump. “Banjaxed will be allowed! No more Irish words after that.” Niall was a bit pissed, but he could collect his points for his word, so he didn’t mind too much. Harry sat back down, narrowing his eyes as Niall put his tiles on the board. Louis chuckles a bit from beside him.

“I like the competitive side to you, Styles.” Louis says, raising his eyebrows and smirking at Harry. Harry felt a but of a blush rise on his cheeks, so he looks down at their tiles. 

“Well, I take Scrabble very seriously.” Harry replies, tying his curls up to prove just how seriously he takes this. 

“That you do.” Louis laughs, attempting to put their tiles together into any sort of word. They don’t have many vowels, so it’s a bit of a struggle. “Did Adam not want to come tonight?” Louis asks, still rearranging tiles. And, wait, maybe Harry should’ve invited Adam. That’s what you do with boyfriends right. Harry really wouldn’t count his last relationship as normal enough to base his decisions off. Maybe Adam would have wanted to come and see Eleanor and Louis. Well maybe not Louis. Harry has a feeling something went wrong between the two.

“No, he was busy.” Harry lies. He’s not quite sure why. Wine compels him to make some questionable decisions. “And we have even teams now, so.” Harry shrugs. Louis looks satisfied with this answer. 

“Well, we need to get together sometime next week to plan that masterclass we’re doing.” Louis says, while watching El take her team’s turn. They put down Phantom. “There’s that café down the street from Lincoln Center. You want to meet there after rehearsal on Tuesday?”

“Sounds great.” Harry says, then remembers he can’t leave right after rehearsal. “But can we go at like seven? I go to pliates after rehearsals.” Louis turns to look at him.

“Every day?” Louis asks, a bit of a concerned furrow between his brows. 

“Yeah. Trying to get in Nutcracker shape.” Harry chuckles, but it falls flat. Louis just gives a bit of a nod, but his eyes linger on Harry’s for a moment. Niall breaks any sort of moment that was going on between them by falling on Harry’s sink in the haunted bathroom. 

Harry and Louis won Scrabble.  
**************************  
“Hey, Haz. What’s up with that haunted bathroom you keep whining about?” Niall asks, an hour or so after the Scrabble game ends and everyone is sitting on Harry’s kitchen floor, eating Club crackers and chocolate pudding cups.

“Oh. Bernard.” Harry replies. Harry named the ghost Bernard a while back, hoping it would make him ease up on Harry. He hasn’t. “Bernard steals my toothpaste. Moves my hair dryer. Spills my nail polish. All the basic bathroom ghost shit.”

“You know, H. I’m gonna go check that out.” Louis says, standing up, a bit wobbly due to the amount of wine he’s had. When he stands, Harry has a perfect view of his ass. It’s a great ass. He looks away. “Bernard is probably like. I don’t know like some weird draft.” And with that, before Harry could protest, Louis disappears into the bathroom.

The group slowly gets up to follow him, creeping behind Louis like they’re side characters in a horror movie. Liam would die first. Louis is in the bathroom, and the lights in there are off. Out of nowhere, the sound of shampoo bottles hitting the floor rings out, and no sounds from Louis. 

“Lou?” Harry says timidly, not knowing whether he’s more worried about Louis or his shampoo bottles. That shit is expensive. 

“Guys?” Louis squeaks, right as the lights in the apartment flicker. And go out altogether. Shit.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was gone for so long!!!! School and ballet were kicking my ass.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned.

Louis  
Louis swore he didn’t believe in ghosts. That would be stupid and childish. And Louis is not stupid. Childish, yes, but not stupid.

So there had to be another explanation for the fact that all the lights in Harry’s apartment had gone out, right after the shampoo bottles in the shower fell while Louis was six feet away from them. 

“Guys?” Louis called out when he was drenched in darkness. All he got in response was about five screams. Louis left the bathroom and was treated to his group of friends cuddled together like they were the main cast in a horror movie. Harry and Gigi were somehow both putting their heads in each other’s chests, and Liam had jumped onto El’s arms, and they both fell on the floor, unsurprisingly. Zayn and Ed were smiling, like they were actually enjoying this shitshow. Niall surged forward when he saw Louis.

“Louis!” Niall shrieked. “What did the ghost look like? Was it one of those weird, bloody ones?” Niall was yelling so much Louis couldn’t tell whether he was a secret ghost enthusiast or scared shitless.

“There was no ghost.” Louis says, met by multiple scoffs. “That I saw.” Seven pairs of eyes whipped toward him, and with this, Harry finally decided to take charge.

“Bernard is clearly having a bad day. Let’s get candles.” Harry says, while shepherding the group into his kitchen. He opens a cabinet, containing about twenty scented candles. “Okay, it might smell weird, but at least we can see.” Everyone takes a candle and a match, and slowly the rooms of Harry’s apartment get a warm glow. They focus most of the candles in the living room, so they can gather there again. After they’ve been settled for a few minutes, Ed comes back from a phone call with his roommate.

“So, lights out in all of Brooklyn.” Ed sighs. “Bernard sure is a powerful ghost.”

“You better not be insulting him. He’ll move my toothpaste to my fridge again.” Harry pleads. 

“Bernard did what?” El exclaims, clearly all in on this ghost thing. Louis tries to come up with some sort of reasonable explanation for this but comes up empty. There really is no reason for the moving toothpaste. Or the shampoo bottles.

“Bernard is a vengeful ghost.” Harry says closing his eyes and putting his head in his hands. Louis thinks he needs a hug. Louis will volunteer to do that. Before he can though, Harry’s phone starts to ring. “Shit, I gotta take this.” He mumbles, and scampers off to the hallway. 

The remaining dancers (plus Ed and Zayn) continue to chat about Nutcracker coming up. El is feeling fine about it, but the pliates is killing her. Gigi is basically running off iced coffee, but what else is new. Louis fell flat on his face after tripping on his hoop during rehearsal yesterday, but he doesn’t feel like revealing that.

“My fingers might fall off from sewing those damn snow costumes.” Zayn grumbles, and Louis can sense he’s about to go off on another tangent about how he will be getting arthritis before he’s thirty, so Louis decides now is a good time to go to the bathroom. 

Louis walked down the hallway, his socked feet making little noises while he moved. He went into the bathroom, did his thing, and then decided to snoop through all the cabinets. All he found was a staggeringly large collection of face masks, which Louis was incredibly jealous of. He ran out of things to do in Harry’s bathroom except maybe take a shower. Harry probably wouldn’t appreciate that though.

Walking back down the hall, Louis passed the kitchen. He heard voices, and being the nosy fucker he was, chose to stay and listen for a second. 

“I’m sorry babe. I didn’t think you’d want to come.” Harry said, his voice sounding strained. Louis wasn’t close enough to hear what the person on the other end of the call was saying, but he could guess it was Adam. “I know they’re your friends too. I just- no! I wasn’t trying to hide you from them.” Harry sounded so hurt. Louis could practically feel his shoulders sagging from here. 

“I’m sorry.” Harry said, before the dial tone rang out from his phone. Louis peeked around the corner to see Harry with his head in his hands, elbows resting on the counter. Louis didn’t know if he should go in, or just give Harry some space. Then he remembered he left the living room about fifteen minutes ago, and the group probably thought Bernard the ghost killed Louis. So, he chose to leave Harry alone for the time being.   
*******************  
Harry walked in the living room ten minutes after Louis, with a fake smile plastered on his face. 

“You guys should crash here. It’s getting late, and they still don’t have the power on.” He said, looking around for places for people to sleep. “I’ve got a guest room, someone can take the couch. I’ll put out a ton of blankets on the floor? I’m sorry, I know it’s shit.” Harry grimaced.

“Thanks, Harry.” Louis said to him, giving him a soft smile. Harry had already had a shit night, and Louis just needed to make it better. The rest of the group nodded, and headed to Harry’s room after he offered them all sweatpants and t-shirts to sleep in. Everyone but Liam was swimming in the clothes, especially Louis. The shirt Harry gave him reached his knees. It was fine though, because the shirt was soft and smelled like Harry. It was comforting.

Niall and Ed took the blanket fort Harry had set up on the living room floor. Niall and Ed made a sign for it, much like they were ten years old.

“It’s our fort!” Niall cried when Louis tried to ridicule him. Whatever. Camp Ballsack existed now whether he wanted it or not. 

Gigi and El slept on the couch, somehow maneuvering themselves into fitting onto separate ends at the same time. Zayn, Liam, and Louis decided to set up in the guest room.

“It’s a big bed. We can all fit.” Liam said after the trio walked into the small room. It smelled like his grandmother’s house, which was nice and unsettling at the same time.

“It’ll be fine.” Zayn murmured, clearly ready to knock out for the night. Wine made him sleepy. 

The boys got in, Zayn on the right, Liam in the middle, and Louis on the right. After doing some shuffling so Louis was hanging half off the bed, everyone drifted off to sleep.   
**********************  
Louis woke up after his hand banged against the wooden floor, the white rug not doing much to help him out. He groaned, looking up from the ground to see Liam and Zayn sleeping like logs above him, leaving Louis no place to squeeze into the bed. Shit.

The door opened with a squeak, and for a second Louis was worried Bernard finally decided to get him. He was about to die and Liam and Zayn wouldn’t even notice. Some friends they were.

“Louis?” Harry whispered, his voice gravelly from sleep. Louis ignored the shiver it sent up his spine. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Louis whispered back. He was still laying on the floor. “Just took a bit of a tumble is all. I might need to join Camp Ballsack.” Harry slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from giggling too loud. Yes, the camp name was stupid, but they could still laugh about it like fifth graders.

“No, just come sleep with me.” Harry said, gesturing for Louis to get up. 

“You sure?” Louis asked. “I don’t wanna like- intrude. Or something.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Harry waved him off, and Louis stood up to follow Harry down the hall. Harry slept without a shirt, which was new information to Louis, and so he watched Harry’s back muscles ripple as he moved. He was so enthralled he barely kept himself from ramming into Harry when he stopped to open his bedroom door. 

Harry’s room was everything Louis expected. It was clean, white linens, small green houseplants around the room. There were pictures everywhere. Pictures of what Louis could only assume was Harry’s family, going off the almost freaky resemblance. Performance pictures, going back to when Harry was fourteen, a huge smile spread across his baby face. A bookshelf sat against the left wall, filled with books from every topic. The most unpredictable thing was the TV in the room. Louis expected Harry to be one of those hipsters who didn’t keep TVs in their rooms. 

Harry slipped into bed, pulling one side of the white sheets down for Louis to get in too. Louis hesitantly got in, settling into the cool fabric. He inhaled deeply, Harry’s scent on the pillow pulling him into a deep sleep.

When he dreamed of emerald green eyes and chocolate curls, he would say it wasn’t a problem.  
*******************  
Louis was warm when he woke up. Which was different than usual, because most mornings Louis woke up with nothing but his cold sheets for comfort. This morning however, Louis was warm. Something was plastered to his front, and it felt a lot like skin. Hair tickled his nose, and that’s when he realized something was different. Louis inhaled sharply, which only filled his senses with more of Harry. Harry’s scent specifically, which was like fresh cinnamon rolls baked in an evergreen forest. Awfully specific, kinda odd, but Louis was a fan. 

He blinked open his eyes to see Harry’s chocolate curls in front of him, since Louis had somehow stuck himself to Harry’s back last night. There was sunshine pouring through the windows, painting the side of Harry’s face in a beautiful glow. He looked softer than usual. His face was completely relaxed, his pink lips slightly open, little snuffles coming from them. Louis decided he should probably get out of bed before Harry catches Louis staring creepily at him, or worse, finds himself cradled in Louis’ arms. Yeah, it was time to go. 

Carefully removing his arm from around Harry’s waist, Louis disentangled himself from the other boy, trying desperately not to wake him up. The floorboards creaked when he stepped on them, and Louis cursed under his breath. There were goosebumps on Louis’ bare arms since there was a chill in the apartment without Harry’s gentle warmth. Louis crept through the silent apartment, the only movement besides his footsteps being the dust particles floating through the undisturbed air. Entering the guest room, Louis found Liam and Zayn in a tangle of limbs on the floor, so Louis didn’t regret staying with Harry. At all.

He grabbed his clothes from the floor, and went to the haunted bathroom to change, brushing his teeth with his finger. Louis moved into the living room, where Camp Ballsack had collapsed, covering an unaware Ed and Niall in about ten blankets. Gigi was hanging off the couch while Eleanor hogged the quilt they shared. The scene made Louis smile. His life was pretty damn good. He found success in his career, he had great friends, a wonderful family. Louis slipped out the door with a gentle smile on his face, right after leaving a sticky note on the door for the others to find.

Love you losers. Went home for coffee, see you all Monday. Xx Louis :)


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! So I know I was gone for a hot sec but I have an actual reason this time!! Yay!! I'm dealing with some personal stuff at the moment, and wanted to figure out how to best portray it in the story. Thanks for the patience :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION and not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

Harry  
Harry loved the New York City Ballet. He fit in surprisingly well, and he was dancing better than ever. That might also come from the fact he’s been training like a maniac lately, but that’s not important. New York was really starting to feel like home. Harry didn’t get homesick for London like he used to, and his new friends were a large part of the reason why. The group he got sucked into was like a family. And now that Harry was part of the group, he got invited to the annual Friendsgiving they threw.

Most of the dancers couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving, because the opening of Nutcracker was the next day, so the soloists hosted a dinner on Thanksgiving for the dancers and crew stuck in town. That included Harry this year, and he wouldn’t be seeing his mom or sister until Christmas, since they can’t make the trip up from Ohio because of Gemma’s pregnancy. It hurt that Harry wouldn’t see the baby’s birth, but that’s the life of a dancer, he supposed. 

Harry got to the studio at six, per usual, and did his entire workout routine. He was getting a twinge in his knee, but he could ignore it. This happens all the time, it probably isn’t a big deal. When he came upstairs to get ready for class, there was a noticeable excitement. It made sense, as today the company was beginning dress rehearsals. It was a huge deal, and the show was really coming together. Zayn was finally done with the costumes, even though he would be making alterations for the entire run of the show. Liam loosened up, thank god, and he plays Mother Ginger like he was born for it. Niall turns out to be made for Drosselmeyer, his dramatics bringing a new dynamic to the character. El, no matter how nervous she was, was crushing Marzipan. Like crushing it. The pliates she was doing with Harry had been paying off, as her turns were reaching new levels. Gigi looked gorgeous, but something was off. Her Dewdrop Fairy was lacking her usual energy, and as soon as she finished a run through, she looked like she might pass out. Maybe it’s a cold or something.

Harry’s favorite dancer to watch in rehearsal was Louis. He just had this presence, like as soon as he stepped into the studio you better watch him. The Candy Cane role isn’t a huge one, but watching Louis, he made you believe he was the main character. His energy was insane, and he was wonderful with the kids he performed with. Watching him with them was a lot like watching Louis with his younger sisters. When Harry had shown up to the Tomlinson household to make cupcakes a few weeks ago, he didn’t expect the blonde herd of children he was faced with. But watching Louis interact with them, the soft light in his eyes even when he acted annoyed was truly something to behold. Harry never had a younger sibling, and he always admired those who did. 

Harry continued to walk through Lincoln Center, passing by exhausted corps de ballet members, the bags under their eyes complimented by the slow, sluggish way their legs moved. The corps de ballet was by far the most overworked members of the company during Nutcracker. While the soloists and principals got nights off, about three a week, the corps had to perform at every show. So, they were already exhausted, and it wasn’t even opening night.

Opening the door to the studio, Harry was greeted with the sight he was gifted with every morning. Gigi, looking like she rolled out of her grave, El being weirdly peppy, and Louis being his usual self. At the moment, the sunlight from the floor to ceiling windows was shining through the strands of his hair, making his caramel-colored locks look more blonde. He was deep in conversation with Eleanor, who was blushing while she pulled on a black legwarmer for her knee that was acting up. Louis had a sly expression on his face, and Harry would think he was flirting with her if he didn’t know for a fact Louis was straight as a kid’s teeth before braces. 

“Hey everyone!” Harry greeted the trio, walking up to them, green juice in hand. It tasted like utter shit but Gigi told him it would help his performance, so he had to give it a try.

“Hey, Haz.” Louis said, looking up at the taller boy from the ground. His eyes seemed extra bright today, the blue complimented beautifully by his emerald green sweatshirt. Harry needed help. And he should probably call his boyfriend. “El was just telling us about her date with a certain brunette boy.” Louis raised his eyebrows at Eleanor, and she just flipped him off. She was smiling, though.

“Did you two finally go out?” Harry asked, excited at the prospect of those two finally getting their shit together. “Where did you go?”

“He took me to a Japanese steakhouse, which I love by the way.” She smiled. “But it might not have been a date. I didn’t clarify.” El looked down at her lap, fidgeting with her acrylic nails. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Gigi piped up from where she was laying on the floor, face down. She pushed her torso up, stretching her back in a cobra pose. “He literally kissed you goodnight. I saw it!”

“You did WHAT?” Eleanor yelled, her eyebrows disappearing behind her bangs. Harry and Louis watched with their jaws on the floor. 

“I saw you! Out the peephole. I heard noises outside and wanted to make sure Louis wasn’t coming over again to-“

“Okay, well let’s focus on the kiss thing.” Louis said suddenly, cutting Gigi off. “I feel like we glossed over that too quickly.” Louis’ eyes were wide, his mouth pinched at the sides. His cheeks had a cute pink flush to them, and Harry really wanted to know why. 

“Well, it was a good kiss.” El said.

“So why in god’s name would you think it might not be a date, dumbass?” Gigi questioned, raising her right eyebrow like she did when she was smug.

“He hasn’t mentioned anything about like, being boyfriend and girlfriend.” 

“Listen, El.” Harry responded, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I’m sure he’s just nervous. It took Adam like three weeks and like a billion dates to be my official boyfriend anyway.”

“Well, Liam needs to get it together.” Louis said, tension in his shoulders coming out through his voice. “Some people may think it’s fine to jerk others around, but Liam isn’t doing it to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked, eyes zeroing in on Louis irritated expression. Louis turned to look at Harry and winced a bit.

“Nothing. Just let me talk to Liam.” Louis muttered, standing up to take his place as the barre as the doors opened, with Cowell behind them. Looking at Louis stretching his hamstrings, Harry could only think well at least Liam and El have their shit together.

*************************************

Harry worked on his Friendsgiving dish all day. Eight hours. Turns out making cranberry brie bombs was more complicated than he assumed. So, Harry had barely any time to get his hair looking acceptable and put on a good outfit before he left. He decided on a blue silk button up with white polka dots, black skinny jeans, and he just kept his hair down in his natural curls. Hopefully, that would do. Harry rushed out his apartment, pulling on his Chelsea boots, and grabbing the brie bombs, careful to make sure nothing happened to them. All set, Harry went to pick up Adam. 

Yes, Adam was coming. This was the first gathering that Adam was coming to with Harry’s friends, and Harry was a bit of a train wreck just thinking about it. So when Adam and Harry arrived at the yellow door with the scratch that Louis put there one night when he was drunk, Harry kind of wanted to throw up. Or move to Ibiza. But then Adam knocked, and both of those options were out the window. The door swung open revealing Louis, looking cheerful, his cheeks warm with life, and the crinkles by his eyes present only when he really smiles. That all went away when he looked to Harry’s left and saw Adam.

“Long time no see, Lou!” Adam greeted, while Louis smoothed a neutral expression onto his face. Harry felt something drop in his gut. 

“It’s been a while.” Louis said, a plastic, thin smile on his face. It looked wrong. 

“Where can I put this?” Harry butted in, looking for a way to ease the newfound tension as he gestured to his container of cranberry brie bombs. Louis shifted his gaze to Harry, and he visibly relaxed a bit.

“Follow me, we’ve set up the food family style in the dining room.” Louis said, taking a breath and gesturing behind him before he turned and walked into the apartment. Adam followed, and Harry shook his head to try to make the anxiety go away, then walked into Louis’ home. Harry had never seen the dining room before, even though he’d been over a few times. The dining room was painted a pale shade of green, and warm laughter echoed around the room. It seemed Harry and Adam were the last to get here, as the whole gang was sitting around the long wooden table. Food was spread all over the surface, a turkey in the center. Harry was curious as to who cooked that since both Louis and Niall were hopeless in the kitchen. 

“Harry and Adam are here guys.” Louis called out, gesturing to the couple standing a few feet apart. The room turned to look at him, welcoming smiles on his friend’s faces. Louis quickly sat down next to Zayn, who was next to Gigi. There were two empty seats across from him, which Adam and Harry took after hanging their coats on the back of their chairs. Harry thought he saw Louis looking at his chest, but to be honest he could be hallucinating. 

Unfortunately, Harry wasn’t hallucinating how Louis looked. It was unfair. He was wearing a soft grey sweater, which hung low enough to show off Louis’ collarbones. His hair was up off his face, and the shadows the candles were casting over his face made his cheekbones look sharper than usual. The sharpness was contradicted by Louis’ bright eyes and small hands that were currently wrapped around a fork while he ate his green beans Eleanor made. Harry needed to stop staring at Louis’ hands. 

“So Adam, I know you and El are friends, but we don’t know too much about ya.” Niall said, breaking the silence created by the members of the dinner absolutely stuffing their faces. “What do you do for work?”

“I’m an art curator.” Adam replied, putting on his people pleaser smile. “Pick which art is pretentious enough for the galleries in the city.”

“Seems interesting.” Ed said. “I mean, we all work at the ballet together so we don’t hear about any other jobs often.” He let out a chuckle, and everyone around the table let out a little laugh.

“I mean, I’m not a ballet expert or anything, but you guys were amazing when I went to see Eleanor in Jewels last year.” Adam smiled, and El blushed a bit. Liam narrowed his eyes.

“Have you ever seen Harry dance?” Gigi asked from her place beside Zayn. The two of them were a matching set these days, if you wanted one you had to bring the other.

“I haven’t, actually. Planning on coming to opening night tomorrow though.” 

“Wait, you didn’t tell me that!” Harry exclaimed, a smile overtaking his face.

“Wanted to surprise you.” Adam shrugged. Harry grabbed his hand under the table, while Louis reached for his glass of wine.

“I guess we’ll see you tomorrow then.” Louis said, making eye contact with Adam for the first time since he came in. 

“I guess you will.” Adam replied. Louis took a gulp of wine.

*****************************

Dinner had gone surprisingly well after that. Harry was pleasantly tipsy, jokes just a bit funnier. Adam had charmed the whole table, Louis excluded, but something was up with him. The whole meal, Louis was either being louder than normal, or unusually quiet. The whole thing was a bit unnerving. Ignoring that though, it was a nice meal. The food was great and everyone loved his brie bombs. Zayn even asked for the recipe. That being said, all the wine made Harry have to piss.

Harry walked down the hall after extricating himself from Niall’s legs thrown over Harry’s own. Louis was doing some clean up in the kitchen, and Adam had gone to get more wine. Harry was just about to the bathroom when he heard voices, clearly arguing. Harry tried to be a good person, but he had always been nosy. It’s his biggest fault. That and his horrible alcohol tolerance. 

“I’m just saying, you better not do to him what you did to John.” A voice whispered, but it sounded incredibly angry. It sounded like Louis. 

“Oh please, I didn’t do anything to John.” The other voice said, a bit of a mocking tone to the voice. Harry was positive it was Adam. But why were Adam and Louis arguing?

“I vividly remember you trying to cheat on John with me. But if that’s nothing to you, then you have some serious mental issues.” Louis’ voice spat out, and Harry could imagine what his face looked like even from behind the wall he was using to hide. Blue eyes fiery, brows furrowed. A lot like his face looked the night they kissed. And wait, WHAT? Adam was going to cheat on his ex with Louis? Louis would never. Adam would never.

“I just offered you some fun between friends. John didn’t have to know.”

“Adam, I’m only telling you this once.” Louis’ voice began. “If you hurt Harry, or even think about cheating on him, I will personally see to it that an entire group of ballet dancers beat your ass.” 

“Whatever, Lou.” Adam said, no trace of a waver in his voice. “But if you ever want to put that ass to use, call me.” A sound rang out like someone got slapped. Harry could guess what happened. He felt sick suddenly, like his body was outgrowing his skin. He was struggling to breathe, and he still had to fucking piss. Harry rushed down the hall, opening the bathroom door without knocking. At worst, he expected maybe a dick to be out. He didn’t expect to see Gigi sitting against the bathtub, tear tracks staining her face.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!!! Eating disorders and disordered eating are discussed in this chapter. If this will be triggering to you, skip to the asterisks.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.

Harry  
Whenever Harry saw Gigi Hadid, he saw a put together, collected person. Harry had never seen her cry. Harry had never seen her laugh so hard she got a stomachache. So, when he did see her in such a vulnerable state as she was in now, it was like a punch to the gut. Gigi was sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped around her knees so she was in a little ball. Her hair was a mess, like she had been running her hands through it nonstop. The fear in her eyes when she spotted Harry was the worst part.

“Gigi?” Harry whispered. She whimpered in response. He slid down the wall of the bathtub to sit next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t know if I can.” Gigi responded. She was still crying, but the tears were starting to give way to sobbing, full body shaking. Harry wrapped his arms around her smaller frame, trying to still her. He had no idea what else to do. 

“Did somebody hurt you?” Harry asked. If someone hurt her, a cavalry of soloists would end the shit out of whoever it was. Harry would do it himself if it came down to it. But Gigi was shaking her head before Harry could dive further into the hole he was going down. 

“No.” She chuckled dryly. “Maybe that would be easier to explain.” A tear ran down the right side of her face, and she buried her face into the crook of Harry’s neck. 

“Can you start with why you’re crying now? You don’t have to tell me everything if you don’t want to.”

“I can try.” Gigi said, putting some space between herself and Harry, maybe to distance herself from the reality of her situation. “I was trying-“she hiccupped “trying to make myself get rid of this damn dinner. And I couldn’t do- do it.” Harry froze where he was rubbing his hand in circles on Gigi’s back. “Am I that weak? Am I so fucking stupid that I can’t do this for myself?” She let out a shaking sob, her whole body convulsing with it. “I was doing so well before this. I was saving my calories for this damn dinner but of course I went overboard. I can’t con- control myself. And now I’m gonna be the b-big ballerina onstage and I just can’t do that anymore Harry. I can’t.” Gigi finally broke. Whatever was happening to her earlier wasn’t comparable to the way she was crying so hard she couldn’t breathe now, sobs coming out of her mouth no matter how hard she tried to quiet them. Harry just held her.

The thing was, Harry should have more experience with this. Harry had been around ballet dancers since he was fourteen, of course he had seen dancers with eating disorders, or at least disordered eating. But he had never dealt with it up close. He saw what every other dancer saw, said what every other dancer said. She’s gonna snap starving herself like that. He’s probably puking up dinner, he’ll be back in a bit. Harry had never done anything to help them, because to be honest he didn’t know how. If he said something to the teachers, the dancer would go home and they would never forgive him for ruining their career. So Harry watched the dancers around him shatter like glass, the hammer that broke them their own mind. 

This was different. Harry couldn’t watch Gigi ruin herself anymore. And it had been there all along if he looked hard enough. For the last couple months, all that Harry had seen her eat was an orange or maybe a piece of chicken. The coffee she drank was probably the only thing keeping her from collapsing during rehearsals. Her face had hollowed out, and he couldn’t see what she had done to her body until today, since she was constantly wearing baggy warmups. Gigi had probably lost fifteen pounds in the last two months. Something had to change before she seriously hurt herself, even more than she already was.

“G, you have to talk to someone about this. Someone that knows how to help you.” Harry whispered into Gigi’s hair. She had stopped shaking so much, but she had curled herself into the smallest ball she possibly could.

“They’ll make me stop dancing. I can’t stop dancing.” She said, face in Harry’s chest now. “They’ll get a corps member to replace me and my career will be over.”

“No. Your career won’t be over. You just have to get healthy again.” 

“I’m not doing anything if they make me stop dancing. I’ve waited for Dewdrop my entire life, there’s no way in hell I’m messing it up now.” Gigi sounded like she was trying to be angry, but the energy was sucked out of it. She just sounded tired.

“G, if you hurt yourself dancing onstage, I will never forgive myself. And you wouldn’t forgive yourself either.” Harry squeezed her shoulders so she knew this was coming out of love, even if Harry was coercing her to make the last decision she wanted to make. “What if you told Zayn?”

“No.” Gigi replied, a firm tone replacing the frail one she used moments earlier. “No, he probably already thinks I’m fat. If he thinks I’m fucked up too he’ll never like me back.”

“Look at me.” Harry said, meeting Gigi’s eyes when she reluctantly pulled her face away from his torso. Her blue eyes were bloodshot and watery, purple bruises below them from what she was putting herself through. “Zayn has loved you since I got here. It’s obvious when he looks at you. And because he loves you, he wouldn’t want this for you. Ever.”

“He- he loves me?” Gigi hiccupped.

“More than he loves Fifa, yes.” Harry told her, eliciting the first smile he’d seen from Gigi in a long, long time. “So please tell him what’s going on. He’ll want to help.” Gigi nodded slowly, sinking back into Harry’s arms. In all of Gigi’s chaos, Harry almost forgot about Adam. Almost.

*******************************************

This was the biggest day of Harry’s life to date. Not just because he was making his debut as the Sugarplum’s Cavalier that night, no, it was also because of what he was about to do. 

Harry had never broken up with someone before, let alone a cheating scumbag like Adam. Harry was hoping it went well as he walked into the coffee shop he told Adam to meet him at. Harry went in the glass door after taking one more deep breath. He saw Adam waiting for him at a table near the big picture windows in the front. Adam smiled, clearly not expecting what was coming to him. Bastard.

“Harry! I didn’t see you leave last night. I missed you.” Adam pouted jokingly as Harry sat down.

“Yeah, that was on purpose.” Harry replied, watching Adam’s face contort into a confused expression. “Listen, I’m gonna make this quick. We’re over.” 

“What- what why?” Adam roared, his voice attracting the attention of the patrons in the shop without headphones in. “I thought this was going so well? I was going to ask you to move in tonight!” Harry was suddenly awfully glad he was doing this now.

“I don’t date cheaters.” Harry said calmly, taking a sip of the coffee a waiter had brought before he sat down. Adam probably ordered it, which would explain why it wasn’t even close to Harry’s usual order. Adam sucks.

“Cheater-“Adam started, a look of realization dawning on his face. “Did Tomlinson say something about me? That little bitch has always been a liar- “

“Don’t talk about Louis like that.” Harry said, a flare of unexpected anger coming from deep down in his stomach. “And no, he didn’t tell me anything. I just figured out where you were going during your art club meetings.” And that Harry did. After thinking about it for a while, it dawned on him that Adam had in fact been cheating on him. Going to an “art club” usually didn’t involve coming home with hair that looked like hands had run through it. Or wearing turtlenecks for a week after. Harry was just too distracted with work to notice earlier. Adam looked like he wanted to sink into the floor. Good.

“Harry, I can end that. I promise, he doesn’t mean anything.” Adam pleaded. Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I’m worth a bit more than that, scumbag.”

“I did what I had to do.” Adam started, pleading turning into anger at the rejection. He had always been a bit temperamental. “You wouldn’t put out. I have half a brain to think you’re getting it somewhere else. From Tomlinson, maybe?” 

Harry wasn’t a violent person. No matter how much he wanted to, he didn’t slap Adam like Louis did. He leaned in and grabbed Adam’s chin instead. “No. Never had sex with him. But I do know you tried to. Jealous?” Harry asked, letting go of Adam’s face and getting up from the table, and grabbing the coffee Adam ordered him from the table. “Bye asshole. I never want to see you again.” Harry said before dumping the mostly full cup of iced coffee on Adam’s head. He turned around and left the shop without a look back at his ex-boyfriend. Harry’s confidence was at an all time high, and he was ready to step onstage and show the audience what he’s got. Game on.

******************************************

Okay, Harry was still nervous. Very, very nervous. He still didn’t have his own dressing room so he was laying on Louis and Niall’s dressing room carpet, trying not to have a nervous breakdown while Crush by Sleigh Bells was playing through the Bluetooth speaker next to Niall’s mirror. Niall was the only one of the three dancing in the first act, as Louis and Harry didn’t dance until the Land of Sweets segment in the second act. Niall was lip synching to the song as Louis was completing his stretches holding onto the open doorframe. Niall was in costume and Louis was wearing a deep blue crewneck and long green legwarmers over his tights. Harry was covered head to toe in his warmups, sweaty from the nerves. 

“Hey boys!” Eleanor greeted, coming up behind Louis in the doorframe. She was doing her first dance in Act II during the Spanish dance with Liam. She was in full costume, including yellow pointe shoes and matching yellow tights. She had a bright smile on her face, not as nervous as most since she had been doing Spanish for years. 

“Hey, El.” Harry called back from the floor, and she glanced at him, a concerned frown on her face.

“You good down there, H?” She asked, and Harry made a noise of assent as he slid into his splits.

“He’s just a bit nervous.” Louis said, moving into the room so Eleanor could come in with him. “Big night, after all.”

“Had a big day, too.” Harry mumbled in response, not really meaning to say it out loud.

“Why? What happened today?” Niall asked, tearing his face away from the mirror where he was fixing his hair.

“I broke up with Adam.” Harry shrugged, getting up and starting to do some plies holding onto the back of the couch.

“You what?” All three of the others in the room shrieked in response. 

“Why? He was so perfect for you!” Eleanor yelled, clearly a bit frazzled by two of her good friends splitting up.

“He was cheating on me. Covered it up by saying he was going to an art club.” Harry said nonchalantly while doing a tendu into fifth position.

“He was cheating on you?” Louis said lowly from where he was positioned from across the room. He looked like he might commit murder.

“Yeah. Don’t worry though, I poured coffee on his head so we’re even now.” Harry smiled.

“Atta’ boy, H!” Niall laughed from his seat on the vanity counter. From there the conversation was dropped as they moved on to talk about the show. The group discussed their nerves, who was coming to see them, who was missing it. They talked until the final five-minute call for curtain, when the dancers had to rush backstage with the rest of the company. The moment Harry had been waiting for was finally here. Showtime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Comments are always incredibly appreciated!! Trust me, I hate Adam too. I based a lot of Gigi's issues with food from my own experiences, so I tried to make it as accurate as possible :)


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Hope you all enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about anyone or any organization mentioned in the work.
> 
> More notes at the end :)

Louis  
Backstage was Louis’ second favorite place, behind being on the stage itself. The energy of the company backstage was unmatched. Some dancers were laying on the floor, some jumping around full of energy. In Louis’ opinion, you could really tell who a person was by their backstage behavior. When he was backstage, Louis’ didn’t talk to anyone. It made him nervous, so he kept completely to himself as soon as he reached the wings and just watched the performance. Dancers were so perfect onstage it was almost ironic, since most of them were wincing in pain and quickly stripping off the persona they just sold the audience as soon as they take a step offstage. Louis found the flawed dancers the most interesting. Sure, to the audience perfection is all they want to see for a three-hour show, so they can return to their lives, however imperfect. However, after watching ballet for his entire life, Louis could relate more to the dancers who were vulnerable and flawed onstage. Perfect wasn’t what Louis wanted after a lifetime of it.

Louis was watching Liam onstage as Mother Ginger dancing with his eight little Pollichinelles. The kids were one of Louis’ favorite parts of Nutcracker, since they were so bright eyed and ready to learn. It could be hard to get through all sixty-four shows of the Nutcracker, so they worked as great motivation. Liam was taking to his role as the drag queen-esque mother surprisingly well. He was finally loosening up thank god. Louis had his prank plans foiled by Liam one too many times. 

“Candy canes, you’re up!” The stage manager whisper-yelled at Louis and the group of children he was next to. Louis took breath before he heard the music start and he was running out onto the stage, followed by the two lines of kids. Louis hadn’t been onstage since performing Apollo, and he missed it. Missed it like someone misses a family member or misses their favorite tv show in-between seasons. So Louis danced. He jumped, quite literally through hoops, sprung around onstage with all the energy of the children surrounding him. He smiled like he was seeing that family member again, drank in his surroundings like that show was finally back on. 

In reality, Louis was back offstage in less than three minutes. When he was onstage, Louis didn’t get tired. It was a weird side affect of whatever drug being under those lights was. Offstage however, Louis was genuinely about to pass the fuck out. He sat down on the concrete floor backstage, taking as deep of a breath as his struggling lungs would let him. Once his body regulated back to normal Louis started paying attention to the stage again, looking up just in time to see Harry make his entrance for the final pas de deux. This was Louis’ favorite dance in the whole show, the grand, sweeping music taking everyone present to some other dimension for the duration of the piece. Louis really loved the Nutcracker.

Louis didn’t have much time earlier to think about how Harry had broken up with Adam. Well, it’s more he didn’t let himself think about it. The only thing that was keeping Louis remotely sane around Harry was that he had a boyfriend, and it would be looked down upon to straddle him in the middle of a Friendsgiving dinner because of that fact. But now, Harry had broken up with the dirty slimeball that some called Adam. Louis really wished there were video footage of Harry dumping that iced coffee on his head, but alas, some wishes were meant to stay ungranted. 

Louis will admit, slapping Adam square across the face was incredibly satisfying. Adam and Louis had stopped talking about two years ago when Adam had tried to hook up with Louis when Adam was dating Louis’ friend John. Louis said no, of course, and fully intended to tell John about the incident. But then Adam announced that he was moving in with John and Louis just didn’t have it in him to break the whole thing up. Instead, Louis just left the friend group.

And because Louis has the worst luck in the galaxy, Adam started dating Harry. Louis debated telling Harry about the whole John thing as soon as he heard the two had started dating, but maybe Adam had changed. But as soon as Louis saw Adam in person at the Friendsgiving dinner, he knew he hadn’t changed. Adam was still the pretentious mess he was two years ago, the only difference being the already receding hairline and that he was dating Harry. To say Adam didn’t deserve Harry was an understatement. Harry was hands down one of the best people Louis had ever met. He was gentle but still had a sarcastic sense of humor that complimented Louis’ perfectly. He was an incredibly talented dancer, and the hardest worker Louis knew. Adam, by contrast, was the absolute worst person Louis had ever met. Their relationship made no sense to Louis, but he tried not to equate it to jealousy. Because he wasn’t jealous.

When Louis heard about Adam cheating on Harry, he was about ready to ditch the performance altogether and go kick Adam’s ass. He took boxing class when he was younger to combat the boys who bullied him for doing ballet. He knew how to rock someone’s shit. But Harry probably wouldn’t have appreciated that, and he didn’t seem to be bothered by the whole situation. So, after the initial anger passed, he was left to wonder, how could someone cheat on Harry? And while Louis was pondering the question, he realized it wasn’t his question to answer. Even if he and Harry ever did date (Louis wanted this more than he cared to admit), then Louis wouldn’t cheat on him. Ever.

Louis was broken out his thoughts by the green-eyed man himself earning a round of raucous applause from the audience at the end of his pas de deux. He looked happy. Proud. Just like he deserved to be.

***********************************

Louis and Niall threw open the door to their apartment, ready to eat the Chinese food they picked up on the way home and crash for at least ten hours after that. Dropping onto their plush, worn couch, they immediately begun eating like they were starved for days before this. They ate a full meal before the show.

“So, how’s Barbra?” Louis asked Niall, who was currently stuffing his face with Lo Mein.

“I’m meeting her parents this weekend, super nervous. They’re coming to the show on Saturday.” Niall replied.

“What the fuck? Since when did you two get so serious? And why didn’t you tell me?” Louis tried to exclaim through his mouth of chicken fried rice.

“I don’t know man, happened pretty fast.” Niall laughed. “And you’ve been too busy ogling Styles to notice.” Niall raised his eyebrows at him. 

“I was not.” Louis yelled, despite knowing damn well it was true. It was hard to ignore Harry’s thighs in tights. Anyway.

“Mate, you might as well just ask him out. He’s not dating Adam anymore.”

“No.” Louis said firmly. “We work together, and he just got out of a relationship. Today. It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Whatever you say.” Niall shrugged. “But Zayn and I have a bet that you two get together by the end of the year, so if you want to get in on that, let me know.”  
And with that, Niall walked out of the room, leaving Louis with his mouth open and filled with rice.

*******************************

The first week of shows for Nutcracker went spectacularly. So, the soloists decided to go out on Saturday and get spectacularly drunk. 

The club they chose to go to was great, music pulsing through the speakers and into their veins, the drinks coming quick. It was nice to shake the expectation for perfection occasionally.

“Lou! You trying to get laid?” Eleanor asked when she walked in and saw Louis. He was dressed in tight black jeans that he knew showed off his ass and a thin red t shirt that scooped pretty low. His hair was up in a quiff, so the answer was yes. He was trying to get laid. 

“That’s none of your business Calder!” Louis called back, a bit tipsy on rum and Coke’s already, to be quite honest. 

“Of course it’s my business! I’m your wing woman!” She answered, which was true. Because Gigi and Zayn opted out of clubbing that night, choosing to go on their first official date instead, El was here as Louis’ wingman. Unfortunately, all thoughts of who he could pull were swept out of his brain when he saw Harry. He was in a sheer button up shirt, pretty much see-through with about three buttons done. He was in black jeans similar to Louis, but Harry’s hair was down in it’s natural curls. Shit.

“Hey guys!” Harry greeted, the ever-present warm grin on his face. Ed, Niall, and Barbra came in with him. Everyone met Barbra properly, and they all decided to go up to the bar and order drinks. Louis got sick of it of sitting still after a while, always a restless drunk, and decided to get up and go dance. He got lost in the mass of bodies and lost in the Chainsmokers song that was playing (Louis hated them but they would work for the purpose at hand). 

Louis felt free, and very, very drunk. He had no idea how long he had been dancing when a body came up behind his. It felt like a man, strong and sturdy. Definitely taller than Louis. Louis turned around to see who it is, only to come face to face with green eyes he knew all too well.

“Wanna dance?” Harry asked. Louis just nodded, and Harry put his hands around Louis’ tiny waist. Louis turned back around so his back was pressed against Harry’s front. They moved to the music, which had changed recently to a mix of the Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know?. Louis wasn’t aware of anything around him, only Harry’s massive hands on his waist and his scent all around him. Louis will admit he thinks back to the night they kissed in the empty rehearsal studio much too often, and it only makes him miss Harry’s hands on him. They were better than Louis remembered, even if he was drunk this time. 

Harry started leaving small kisses on Louis’ neck from behind, murmuring a “Is this okay?”

“More than okay.” Louis said in reply, trying not to shiver and show that he was into this more than he probably should be. Before long, the small kisses weren’t enough and Louis turned himself back around to face Harry. Louis met his eyes and saw a small ring of green surrounding pupils blown to the size of Mars. He glanced down the Harry’s pink lips, and saw the other man do the same. After one more moment of brief eye contact, the two came crashing together, meeting in the middle. 

The kiss was heavy from the start, no holding back from either man. Harry made a pretty noise of pleasure from the back of his throat. He bit down on Louis’ bottom lip, as Louis moved his hands down to clutch at Harry’s hips. After two experiences, Louis could say that Harry was the best kisser Louis had ever had the pleasure of making out with. After several minutes of making out, and a bit of poorly disguised grinding, Harry pulled back a bit. 

“Come back to mine?” Harry asked, voice rough from disuse. His curls were a mess from Louis pulling at them, and his eyes were a bit wild. They were both strikingly sober now, it seemed.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Louis said, nodding rapidly. Louis took the hand that Harry offered, and the two left the club.

And so began a list of events that kicked off a bout of self-destruction for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If you have time I always appreciate comments, they make my day and are incredibly motivating. The story finally really kicks off from here so get ready for that!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy! This one's a bit shorter than usual, but it seemed like a good point to stop this chapter. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION not meant to imply anything about any one or any organization mentioned.

Harry  
The first thing Harry noticed when he woke up was that he wasn’t holding a pillow. He always went to bed holding a pillow, even if that means he has to sleep on just a mattress for his head. The second thing Harry noticed was that he was holding a person. Whose hair was tickling his nose, and who’s feet were tucked between Harry’s calves. The third thing Harry noticed was that he was holding Louis. And with that somewhat troubling realization, memories of the night before came flooding back to him. Because Harry did in fact remember all of last night. Vividly.

Louis shifted a bit where he was laying with his head on Harry’s chest, his left arm wrapped around Harry’s waist. Harry held his breath praying Louis didn’t wake up yet. He needed some more time to process. Processing was forgotten when Harry’s eye caught where the sunlight coming in through the light cotton curtains was catching Louis’ eyelashes. He had beautiful eyelashes. Harry’s gaze traveled down Louis’ face to his adorable nose. He didn’t have a button nose per-se, but it was adorable, nonetheless. He had a small dusting of freckles across his cheeks Harry had never noticed before. His bare arms were littered with little tattoos, which Harry desperately wanted to trace with his fingertips. Somehow, Louis smelled like fresh laundry even though the pair went clubbing the night before. And with that, Harry decided, it’s official. Louis Tomlinson is unreal.

Louis started to shuffle and he took a sharp intake of breath like he was waking up. Harry thought it would be for the best if Louis didn’t open his eyes to see Harry staring at him, so he pretended to be asleep. Louis could probably feel how fast his heart was beating though, being that his hear was right on top of Harry’s heart. Harry could feel Louis take a deep breath, and then a finger poking his cheek.

“Morning, Curly.” Louis whispered, his voice gravelly from disuse. The smile was evident in his voice, and when Harry opened his eyes he got to see said smile slowly spread across Louis’ face. He burrowed himself a bit further into Harry’s chest, and Harry thought he wouldn’t mind seeing this for a long, long time.

“Morning.” Harry replied, yawning. “You hungry?” Harry sat up after Louis moved off his chest to walk to the bathroom. Louis turned around.

“Is this your offer for a second round?” Louis said with a smirk on his face. 

“No,” Harry chuckled, “I meant grabbing breakfast down the street.”

“Sounds good.” Louis smiled, closing the door to the bathroom. Harry plopped backwards onto the bed. He was fucked. Literally, and metaphorically.

-

The two men were sitting on opposite sides of a birch wood table, Louis in too big, borrowed clothes from Harry’s closet. His hair was in a fringe across his forehead and he looked very… soft.

“So last night was fun.” Louis said after the waiter left the coffee they ordered at the table. Harry took a sip of his latte and burned his tongue immediately. 

“That it was.” Harry replied, trying to keep his grin at bay. 

“So, would you be game to go for dinner next week?” Louis asked, hands folding together on top of the table. “No pressure, obviously.” He chuckled a bit, only sounded a little forced. Harry felt conflicted. He’s dated a coworker before, and it went horribly. Like colossally bad. Harry couldn’t abandon another company just because he found Louis really fucking attractive.

“I just broke up with Adam this week,” Harry said, “and I think I should take a bit of a dating pause for the moment.” To be honest, Harry had forgotten completely about Adam this week. He just seemed like a good reason to not jump into anything romantic.

“Oh yeah, that makes sense.” Louis responded, a small smile on his face. Thankfully, a waiter came to take their orders and break the awkward tension. When the waiter left, Harry asked about how Louis’ siblings were doing since he met them a few weeks ago. From there, the conversation flowed easily from family, to upbringings, and their time at the respective ballet schools. They didn’t leave the restaurant until noon, when they both had to go to the theatre for the matinee Nutcracker show. 

When Harry went to bed that night after spending pretty much all day with Louis, he felt a twinge of loneliness. He hadn’t felt that in a long time.

-

Monday morning brought the same morning routine it always did. Wake up, get to the studio, work out, take class. It was easy, familiar. The only recent addition was the twinge of pain in Harry’s knee every time he bent it. But that wasn’t a big deal.

As of right now, Harry was getting ready for morning class, taking his spot at one of the center barres. Over the months Harry had been at the NYCB, he was assimilating pretty seamlessly. He stood behind Eleanor at barre, and in front of Niall. Niall kept him motivated to keep his dancing energetic, and watching Eleanor kept him on top of his technique. Louis and Gigi stood on the other side of the barre, making sarcastic commentary throughout class. It was a flawless system really.

Harry was pedaling his feet, facing the barre, and talking to Gigi, who was still permitted to dance. After telling Zayn about her struggles, he insisted she tell the counselor the company keeps on site. She did and was seeing a therapist a couple times a week now. She was still dancing, but the amount of shows she was performing in were cut down to allow her some recovery time.

“Eleanor and I are thinking of adopting a cat.” Gigi says, after Harry makes a comment about how much he misses his mother’s cat back home. “I want a Siamese cat, but I made the mistake of telling El that I’m allergic to long hairs, so she won’t let me get one.” Gigi pouted. 

“I mean how allergic are you?” Harry asked.

“I used to go to my grandmother’s every Thanksgiving, but I got a full-on sinus infection every time I saw her long hair cats.” Gigi deadpanned, making eye contact with Harry.

“Well,” Harry started, “I mean maybe-“He was interrupted by a body stepping in front of him. That was not Eleanor’s. Gigi gave the new presence an icy glare.

“You guys will never believe what happened this weekend!” The girl shouted, taking off her huge puffer jacket and putting it on the floor. She was settling in. What the hell.  
“That’s El’s spot.” Gigi interjected, and holy shit. She her voice was like Medusa’s snakes, freezing this new girl in her spot. “She’s running late today.” Gigi smiled a bit, and this was freaking Harry out. He had never seen Gigi act like this before.

“Well, when she gets here, she can stand next to you! There’s extra space!” The intruder grinned, brown eyes saying something that looked like ‘try me, bitch.’ 

While the two women were having a bit of a stare-off, Harry noticed they were dressed weirdly similar. Both were in quarter zip, sleeved leotards, and had French twists in their hair. They were even in the same black skirt. The only real difference in their attire was the Apple Watch the imposter was wearing on her wrist, which Gigi was eyeing with distaste. 

“I just hate wearing watches while I dance.” Gigi said, fluttering her eyelashes. “Ruins the lines, don’t you think?” Gigi crossed her arms, and her bare, delicate wrists were on full display. Harry stifled a laugh. Gigi was right, after all, heavy jewelry was banned in class for that exact reason. 

“I wear it because it counts the calories I burn.” Fake Gigi replied, and Harry could see Real Gigi flinch, her perfectly positioned Cool Girl mask slip off for a moment. 

“Sorry I’m late!” A high, lilting voice called from Harry’s left. He turned to see Louis jogging up to his normal spot and taking a breath to say something to El, and then letting out said breath was he realized that she wasn’t there.

“Um, where’s Eleanor?” Louis questioned, a bewildered expression on his face. Harry just shrugged, and Cowell decided to start class before Gigi could say anything. Harry decided that Fake Gigi was horrible. And he would purposely get too close to her during grande battement.

-

Eleanor didn’t show her face until right after morning class. Which was an ordeal to say the least. Louis and Gigi were dancing sharper than usual, almost angrily. Harry was trying to survey the technique of the young woman in front of him. It was fine, but she was cocky for her skill level, that much was obvious. 

But now, they were in the hallway, eating lunch on the floor. Harry would never know why, but ballet dancers just really loved sitting on the floor. It was some weird affinity they all shared. Eleanor’s face peeked around the corner, then smiled, realizing that she found who she was looking for.

“Where the hell were you!” Gigi squawked once she noticed El walking down the hallway.

“You can’t say anything.” El said sitting down against the wall, “but I spent the night at Liam’s last night. Which is across town. And I didn’t know, so it took me forever and a day to get here.” Everyone sat in stunned silence. And come to think of it, Harry hadn’t seen Liam all day. 

“I’m sorry,” Gigi whispered, “you did WHAT?” Louis just had a smug look on his face, and Niall was still absorbed in the Chipotle he brought for lunch. “You didn’t come home last night! But I heard the door open!”

“Oh, that was me.” Louis interrupts, swallowing some of his smoothie. “I ran out of Ben and Jerry’s.”

“So, you took ours?” Eleanor asked disbelievingly. “You know we rely on that stuff.” Gigi was just shaking her head slowly, looked betrayed.

“I feel like we’re getting off topic.” Louis exclaimed quickly, trying anything to get the two girls off his back. He’d pay for this later, Harry could tell. “Eleanor literally slept with Liam last night. I feel like we should discuss that.”

While Eleanor blushed and tried to divert everyone’s questions, Harry’s mind wandered back to the fact that he had also slept with Louis. And now Eleanor slept with Liam. The soloists got around, apparently.

Weirdly enough, nothing felt awkward or strained between Louis and Harry. It’s not like Harry forgot what happened, because how could he, but Louis wasn’t treating him any differently. The two of them still joked around during class and sat next to each other at lunch. Everything was normal. Sure, Harry still felt that magnetic pull to Louis, like keeping his eyes off him for too long was wrong. But Louis was attractive, and they had great sex that Harry was still thinking about. It was normal to still have some leftover feelings. He would forget any remotely romantic thoughts involving Louis in due time. Here’s hoping it’s soon though, because having those blue eyes running through his head at all hours and not being able to do anything about it was quite frustrating. Harry made the right decision declining Louis’ date offer. They were co-workers, and Harry was not having any repeats of what happened with Nick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Comments are always appreciated and incredibly motivating!! 
> 
> (Yes, I know this new character is horrible.) I promise the next chapter will be longer!!!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!  
> Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION in no way meant to imply anything about any one or any organization mentioned.
> 
> More in Author's Notes!

Louis  
Snow beat against the window of the small café where Louis was set to meet Niall and Liam. Louis felt weirdly distant from the two boys recently, even though he lived with Niall and saw Liam every day. 

“Tommo!” Niall’s booming voice called from the doorway, not a care in the world for being judged by the other people in the building. Niall walked over to where Louis was waving at him from a small booth in the corner, right by the heater. Louis hated being cold, so he did what he had to do.

“Nialler,” Louis greeted while Niall shook snowflakes out of his hair. “You didn’t come home last night.” Niall didn’t even have the decency to blush. 

“You know, I could say the same for you a couple days ago.” Niall leveled Louis with a look that weirdly reminded Louis of his mother. “And I was at Barb’s, so don’t even start.”

“How is she?” Louis asked, begging whoever’s up there in the clouds to let him off easy this time.

“She’s great! She got a promotion, always being badass.” Niall replied, a proud smile overtaking his face. “But who did you hook up with?” They did not let Louis off easy. Screw you, All Powerful Being.

“Wait, Louis hooked up with someone?” Liam’s voice came from behind Louis, making him jump and spill his coffee on his pants. Great.

“I don’t think that’s either of your business.” Louis sniffed, wiping at his pants with a napkin furiously. “I don’t kiss and tell, unlike some people.”

“Yeah right,” Niall scoffed with a mouth full of the bread on the table. “One time you described a guy’s dick to me in vivid detail. It felt like an audiobook Fifty Shades.”

“He’s got a point.” Liam said, sitting down next to Niall. They were ganging up on Louis now, and he’d definitely cave soon. “So, it has to be someone we know.”

“Well, you hooked up with Eleanor!” Louis shrieked, making a last-ditch attempt to take the attention from himself. Also, he was curious about that, since El had been weirdly casual about it. Eleanor didn’t hook up with many people, it just wasn’t her style. She’d been a relationship girl the many years Louis had known her. 

“We’re dating, idiot.” Liam retorted, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of the water the waiter brought to hide the small blush blooming on his cheeks. 

“Since when?” Niall exclaimed, a betrayed expression playing on his face. 

“Three days ago.” Liam said, “You’ve been too busy with Barbra, and Louis has been too occupied mooning over Harry to notice.”

“Oh my god!” Niall shouted, looking across the table at Louis. “You slept with Styles!”

“No! No, I didn’t!” Louis shook his head violently because they seriously couldn’t find out about this. Ever.

“You totally did.” Liam gaped at him. “How? How did this happen?”

“It didn’t.” Louis denied them, narrowing his eyes. 

Louis wasn’t embarrassed because he slept with Harry. Embarrassed would be pretty low on the list of adjectives one could use to describe how he felt about that night. The next morning however, embarrassed might be number one on that list.

Of course, Louis made the idiot decision to ask Harry out on a date. Just because Harry slept with him doesn’t mean he actually likes Louis. Also, Harry was right. They worked together, and the only time those relationships worked was if you were like Liam and El, who have danced around each other since they were fifteen. 

Later, when Louis left the café, he wondered what the everloving hell he got himself into with Harry.  
-

Eleanor was giving Louis some cause for concern. She was keeping secrets about Liam, and she had been pretty distant from Gigi lately, because Gigi had been going to the company therapist, like four times a week. She was overworking herself, doing two hours of pliates every day, which on top of the Nutcracker performance schedule was a recipe for disaster. Louis hadn’t had a real conversation with her in almost a week and a half. Measures needed to be taken. 

Unfortunately, Eleanor was so busy nowadays the only way to have a conversation with her was to ambush her. And that’s exactly what Louis planned to do.

The company had just finished another successful Nutcracker show, and the exhausted dancers were headed to their beloved beds. The snow from earlier had stopped, leaving grey slush and a biting sense of cold behind. The wind nipped against Louis’ nose, because he made the questionable decision to walk instead of calling a cab. He has regrets.

By the time Louis arrives at his much-loved brick apartment building, he can’t feel any of his appendages. This makes getting the door open and going up the stairs to Eleanor and Gigi’s apartment a true feat of strength and determination. Louis pulls out his blue copy of the girl’s apartment key he keeps for emergencies (mainly ice cream emergencies, but that’s irrelevant) and pushes open their wood door. The entryway is dark, the only source of light being the episode of Say Yes to the Dress Gigi forgot to turn off before leaving. Louis flicked on all the lights on his way to the kitchen, grabbing a mug with his frozen fingers and reaching for the hot chocolate Eleanor kept on the top shelf.

He makes the beverage while he hums to himself, reflecting on the performance he just completed in his head. Louis was the Candy Cane again that night, his favorite role to play onstage. He felt high energy, and Simon complimented him on his performance. Gigi got to be onstage for the night, playing Dewdrop again wonderfully. Harry’s Cavalier portrayal was flawless as always, strong technique shining through his masculine character. It works well for him. 

The door to the apartment squeaks open, breaking Louis from his reverie. He’s now on the plush couch, sipping his hot chocolate and watching the abandoned television. Eleanor always comes home first, and he hears her footsteps approaching slowly, almost weirdly slowly. Louis turns around and comes face to face with Eleanor rounding the corner, baseball bat in hand. She screams.

“Louis! What the hell!” Eleanor shrieks, still gripping the aquamarine baseball bat.

“You’re the one about to knock my daylights out!” Louis screams back, hot cocoa forgotten as he jumps up from the couch to take the bat from her. She takes two steps backwards.

“What are you even doing here?” She questions, quieter now, putting the bat back where it belongs behind the couch. Eleanor crosses her arms across her chest.

“Coming to visit you?” Louis scoffs, “Like I always do?” 

“You haven’t been by in a while!” Eleanor exclaims. “How was I supposed to know you weren’t a home intruder?” 

“Fine. Next time I’ll leave a sticky note on the door that says ‘No Robber, Just Louis’. Happy?” 

“Very.” Eleanor nods, her eyes falling on the hot chocolate on the coffee table. “You stole my hot chocolate! That’s sacred, Louis!” 

“I needed something to drink while I waited for you.” Louis said, motioning for El to sit on the couch beside him. “We need to talk.”

“Why do I feel like I’m about to get grounded?” Eleanor eyed him warily but sat down anyway.

“You’re so dramatic.” Louis waved her off, taking another slow sip from his mug. 

“You told me once that you were bleeding out when you cut your toe on a piece of glass.” Eleanor replied, raising her eyebrows. 

“Not important.” Louis said. “Now, tell me about how you’re dating Liam and forgot to tell me.”

“I told you we slept together!” Eleanor laughed, relaxing upon discovering this was not an interrogation.

“But you didn’t tell me you were dating.”

“Same difference.” Eleanor shrugged, turning her attention to the Say Yes to the Dress episode playing. The bride’s mom was yelling because the bride wanted to elope.

“No. Those are totally different.” Louis says, shaking his head in exasperation. 

“I mean, it was three days ago. This is the first conversation we’ve had since then. It’s not my fault you’re invested in my love life.” Eleanor rolls her eyes. “When’s the last time you slept with someone? Or dated someone?” 

“That’s none of your business.” Louis sniffed, feeling the tips of his ears go red. 

“I’m just saying, maybe it’s time. You could use a break from worrying about everyone else’s dating lives.” 

“I need some air.” Louis said under his breath, leaving the apartment and his hot chocolate behind, as it had probably gotten cold anyway.

-  
Turns out the only place Louis could find air was the cold, deserted streets of New York at night. Louis watched his breath come out in grey puffs, trying to ignore the feeling in his gut that Eleanor’s words made. Sure, he hadn’t had a boyfriend in a while. And that was fine, not everyone needed a relationship to be happy.

But all his friends were growing up. It looked like all those kids from the School of American ballet so long ago found their soulmates. Their careers were in order, they were in love, and they were all happy. And of course, Louis was content with his life. He had wonderful friends, his family was healthy. He was healthy. He lived in an apartment that was only a little shitty. He had a lot be thankful for. The question still stood though, was Louis as happy as he could be?

Louis wanted to ask the dark shopfronts if they knew the answer. If the weeds growing through cement cracks could tell him. He wanted to shout at the skyscrapers, if in their proximity to the sky they found answers Louis still searched for. 

And in the solitude and biting chill only the streets of New York could bring, Louis had to face the truth. Something was missing. Someone was missing. Someone to talk to when he wanted to be listened to, not talked to. Someone who is a constant in his life, but there’s always more to learn about them. Just someone that’s for Louis. Not in a possessive way of course, but that’s put on the Earth for Louis and Louis is there for them.

The only connection that deep Louis had ever felt was between himself and ballet. And so, he did what became reflex at age fourteen, and headed home. Not to the yellow-doored apartment, not to the hustle and bustle of his mother’s house. To where he found himself and lost himself at the same time all those years ago. Where he fell in love.   
-  
The hallways of the New York City Ballet studios were empty. Absolutely deserted. The only reason Louis even got in so late was because Zayn left a door in the basement unlocked in case he forgot his key. So, while he trekked down the desolate halls, Louis could say it was a surprise to hear the ending pas de deux music of The Nutcracker coming from the studio.

Louis tip-toed down the hall, feeling like he was in a horror movie, about to get killed. There was no reason to come to the studio at what had to be midnight, Louis found out as he checked his phone. The song was reaching its dramatic end as Louis reached the heavy door to the main studio, which was propped open. He looked inside to see a figure in an ending pose, shrouded by moonlight coming from the floor to ceiling windows. The figure was panting, flopping to sit on the ground. Louis leaned against the doorframe. 

“Working late, Curly?” Louis asked, startling the other man, who leapt to his feet. Louis stifled a laugh. Harry just let out a long breath, still trying to regulate them from his run-through. 

“I was about to head home.” Harry replied, mostly to himself, and turned to grab his water. 

“I do have a question, though.” Louis mused, not wanting Harry to leave quite yet. Harry hummed in acknowledgement, raising his head to meet Louis’ eyes. “Why are you practicing a duet by yourself?”

“My partner didn’t want to stay.” Harry shook his head. “Wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, or something.” Now, Louis doesn’t really know what went through his head next. 

“Need a partner, then?” Louis said, raising his eyebrows. Harry choked on the water he was drinking.

“Seriously?” Harry questioned, standing up to face Louis. 

“Yeah.” Louis shrugged. “I came here to dance, might as well help you out.” Harry narrowed his eyes at Louis a minute, considering how well this would go over. He must have decided the pros outweighed the cons and gestured for Louis to follow him into the center of the studio.

“Do you know it?” Harry asked, getting into his starting position.

“I’ve seen this show every year for over fifteen years.” Louis deadpanned. “Of course I know it.” And with that, Harry pressed play on the music. 

The dance starts quietly. The music builds as the two dancers start moving with more and more drama. Louis, being smaller than Harry, is the perfect size to be his partner. Harry’s hands circle around Louis’ waist as Harry turns him, Louis’ arms extending towards the mirrors. Louis has never really understood how partners can have such good chemistry while dancing, but he gets it now. Harry’s masculinity balances Louis’ dancing as Sugarplum, and Louis’ musicality guides them both into the music, not through it. 

Louis jumps with Harry supporting him, gliding through the lift sections easily. Louis turns into Harry, chest to chest, mouths only a breath apart. Louis bends backwards, head facing the mirrors. Harry brings him back up, flush against him as they repeat the step. The final lift sneaks up on them, and the two dancers make eye contact right before as a way of saying “I trust you”, but their gaze is filled with so much more. 

When the music stops, the only sound in the room is the heavy breathing of the two men. Harry puts Louis back down on the ground, but his hands don’t leave Louis. The smaller man looks up, to find Harry already staring him down. 

When they kiss this time, it feels inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks so much for reading. Sorry I've been gone so long, I was going through some personal stuff. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!! Love you all!!


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